Feeling sorry for myself

[Ocdfunnot]

I'm so exhausted after a bad week. Both kids were sick so at home while I juggled my busiest ever week at work. I ended up having to work late into the night most days to make up the time spent looking after them in the day, then was up multiple times laundering vomit off bedding, trying to console a child having hallucinations from a high fever and barely getting any sleep.

I think I've been surviving on adrenaline and it's only hitting me at once now. I went to bed looking forward to an early night but I just want to burst into tears and can't sleep as I feel very unsettled/anxious.

I just want to sleep :(. Sorry, just a vent as I don't have any friends or family to talk to.

Oh I am sorry to hear this. I hope you can sleep eventually . Try listening to a funny or relaxing podcast. Things will seem better in the morning I am sure .

So sorry to hear this. It's so tough when they're ill. I'm a teacher and first week of holiday eldest got sickness bug and we got to today feeling like no one else would get it by now and then youngest throws up. Terrified we will get it too even though we had it in winter. I spent all last term washing my heads so much they were bleeding to try to stop us from getting it as it was going around my school again. 😭

Try not to put too much focus on sleeping even though it's what you desperately want/need, just tell yourself it's okay if I don't sleep, I can still rest my body and relax my mind. If you need to cry, cry! It might help. Once you've cried put on a funny film that you already know you like or listen to a relaxing podcast/audio book in the dark.

Also, you've had a horrific week and how you're feeling is to be completely expected so try not to be too hard on yourself. I'd be the exact same in your shoes. Do you have a partner who can help?

And yes as others as said just try to relax in other ways and hopefully sleep will come. It's hard on Sundays when you know you have to get up again for work. Hope the next week is a lot calmer for you

Just pause for a moment and look back at how much you’ve done in these last few days.
What you’ve described is amazing! Those children have had such love & care; you’ve fitted all of that into your busiest work week ever; and you’ve made it to the weekend!
Really, you’re completely wonderful.

Your brain will slow down soon and you can rest. And my goodness, your children are so blessed to have you in their lives.

Thank you so much everyone, the kindness of strangers is lovely.

I do have a partner who helps but he can sleep through anything so I tend to be the one that wakes up first and deals with things.

Last night we decided to divide and conquer, and each slept with a child in their room - the one he was with slept through, mine had hallucinations from the fever and was screaming most of the night. It was pretty traumatic too.

The same child has been really unsettled since bedtime tonight again so I'm also expecting them to fully wake or come in at any point which isn't helping me drift off.

@acrackineverythingthatshowthelightgetsin I'm so sorry for you! I've been really worried about others getting the sickness bug here too after youngest started throwing up on Monday, but eldest somehow 'only' has the fever. I can bet I'll come down with sickness once they are both better though! I hope it passes quickly for you guys.

Even if you and your partner are assigned a child to attend to in the night couldn't you still seek your parners help and tag out if necessary if one child is sleeping and the other is very difficult to care for? It sounds very lonely to be managing hallucinations (which are really upsetting and difficult to deal with!) on your own when your partner is sleeping under the same roof.

You are too kind 😥 I must say I really enjoyed the forced quality time this week when all they wanted to do was snuggle and hold my hand in bed. Very precious. The long evenings working and chaotic nights not so much, but at least it wasn't all bad.