Is it over?

[Biscuitfiend1]

I think I’m done with my husband and I need to vent to see if anyone else has felt the same.

We have not been seeing eye to eye for a long while. Things came to a head this morning when I called him a d@&* for stressing out my child. He then proceeded to call me fat and told me I’m lazy (far from it with a full time job and three kids, one with additional needs) and that he wanted someone better than me. This isn’t the first time he’s said such things. He rarely apologises and calls me a bully if I call him out on his selfish behaviours.

I feel I’ve tried hard to make the relationship work and, despite him being generous and sometimes sweet, I just can’t get past the things he says to me in anger. I know that he’ll just try and worm his way back in and act as if all is ok and he didn’t mean it. The irony is he thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread, so wonderful and charming. I feel like I hate him and that nobody will believe what he says to me.

Please don’t judge me for my own use of bad language, life can be stressful at times and I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination!

Sounds like neither of you are perfect. No one is. If you had the option of trying to fix things would you? Would he?

You’re right and we’ve tried. I’m quite busy and stressed a lot of the time and find that he is quite blinkered and selfish. He’s also someone who won’t apologise when he’s in the wrong. I think the relationship is stressing us both out and we’re just incompatible.

Look, life is hard sometimes. Everyone’s needs can’t always get met, resentments build & it inevitably comes out. That’s you & many others, your situation is not unique. What counts is how you deal with it, how you resolve it, how you both talk it out. Remember, the outburst is the culmination of days or weeks of frustrations on both sides, not being heard etc. you have to make time to check in with each other, find time to go out / have sex whatever it is that makes you connect. Without that you’re just co-existing. Only you can look in the mirror & genuinely answer whether you’ve done everything possible to make it work. If you have & you’re really unhappy then you have the power to change things. If not you owe it to yourself & the marriage to make more effort to try to make it better

My marriage would be over when he said he wanted someone better. And calling you fat and lazy is just the icing on the cake.
He obviously doesn't love or respect you OP.
You would both probably benefit from separating.

Your dc or shared? Previous dh I ended our marriage by text!! No dc together, no joint finances. It was literally done and dusted in 1 message..
Very stressless!!

It would be over for me personally. I couldn't live with someone if we had resorted to spitefulness and name calling.

What you said was pretty generic, although not kind. His response was cruel and personal, designed to upset you. I’d get out now before your kids become accustomed to hearing him talk about you like this. If he can be this nasty he doesn’t respect you and the kids will hear, if they haven’t already. Is this the role model you want for them?
You also deserve better.

Thank you. I did call him out on it and he said he was only giving back what I gave him, but it wasn’t the same and he was acting like an AR@*
No this is not what I want for my kids. I have checked out, this is the straw that broke the camels back.