feeling fragile

[TicklishAquaShark]

Read the full thread before responding. This grief is all because of a sofa.
I was meant to have a sofa delivered today from a shop down the road (two minutes away) and it wouldn’t fit through the door or come apart so it’s had to go back. It would have just about fit if the cushions could come off but they were attached to the sofa which I didn't realise. I got a talking to for not making sure that it would fit which felt belittling.
For some reason they left without taking payment for the delivery, but they still wanted paying for which has created an awkward situation with the shop owner who thought that I wanted them to work for free (I am going to pay for it but it adds to the embarrassment). I feel terrible for inconveniencing someone.
The delivery person weren’t aggressive directly towards me but were to the person they were talking to on the phone complaining about it and that has made me feel vulnerable. I don’t feel that was very professional (but I am used to a polite London response) and I have actually cried. I know that was probably an over reaction.
I have exceptional circumstances (severe agoraphobia diagnosed) and couldn’t go into the shop to measure the sofa so only had a photo to go by, and it would have actually just about fit if it could have come apart.
I’m feeling very fragile and felt intimidated even more so because I am very sensitive to anger after abuse where it meant I was in danger but I know they didn’t know that either. Its situations like these I wish I wasn’t a lone woman and had a man.

bumping so it doesnt get lost

I have no one to speak to about this and I dont know if no one cares or it isnt getting seen

I’m not sure what to say really OP, I’m sorry you’re struggling and I know you say you couldn’t go to the shop but could you not have got the measurements online and then measured your door?

I’m not surprised that both the store & the delivery people were unimpressed.

Oh OP, try not to worry, these things happen. You didn’t intentionally get it wrong, you made a mistake. Pay the delivery fee and talk to the shop owner and ask if they can suggest a different sofa that will fit.

it will be ok, these things happen delivery people have probably moved on already, you are just one moment in their day.

give yourself a hug, and remember you are only human, and we all make mistakes.

That's really unhelpful. Presumably the OP realises that now.

I'm sorry @TicklishAquaShark and you will be disappointed not to get your new sofa too. The people might have been irritated or frustrated in the moment but in the life of someone dealing with the public you'll be far from the worst person any of them have dealt with today, from my own experience. So please chalk it down to experience, learn from it so the same thing won't happen and move on. Do you have a plan for how to pay up and find another sofa that will fit?

I bet this happens more often than you think
op.
You won’t be the first to get the measurements wrong

Two sofa delivery stories.

I went out one morning to leave for work and found a lorry blocking our drive. Went along the walkway to see if I could find the owner to ask them to move.

I found a house with an open door with a sofa stuck in the doorway and an arm waving. One employee was stuck inside the house, and the other was stuck to the doorframe by the sofa. They were waiting for someone to come and free them.
After killing myself laughing, we established that they weren't moving anywhere fast and I was going to be late for work. They were embarrassed, and their rescuer made sure they took lots of photos for the work noticeboard first. It took about 40 minutes of gently moving to free them.

Second one was we bought a sofa from British Heart Foundation. They turned up with it, and we would have got it in easily if there hadn't been a bit of a bend at the end of the corridor. They were brilliant. First they removed the feet, then they removed the door. Then it got in.
They did say that if that didn't work then they would have to take it back.

It is never coming out of our living room in one piece.

I'm really upset the sofa was really nice so I am sad about that but not as much as the way they made me feel. I am still crying about it hours later.

Oh bugger them. They don’t get to make you cry. And I bet they are not crying about it. They are down the pub talking about the football.

I've realised that I don't think their reaction was that out of hand but it did mentally put me back in a place that I felt when I was being abused which was why it was so painful and scary.

That’s awful, I’m sorry to hear that. Have you had therapy? Do you have any strategies for dealing with these feelings?

yes but it has ruined my entire day and its frustrating that my past influences my life so much.

Sorry to hear your sofa didn’t fit and that the delivery crew/person on the phone upset you. As a previous poster pointed out, it happens and sure they’ve had worse interactions. They will have got on with their day and (in the nicest way) they’ve probably not given your attempted delivery another thought.

We had a difficult sofa delivery once where they had to take the whole door frame off to get it in (I had also measured carefully but hadn’t accounted for the hinges).

Hope you have somewhere to sit and get yourself another lovely sofa soon.

the sofa would have fit if the doors came off but they wouldnt do it and it wouldve been too heavy for me. I'm so disappointed it was so nice

Oh dear, that's very disappointing for you that it didn't fit. These things happen, a lot more than you'd think. The way they spoke to the person on the phone was upsetting for you but might just be how they speak, im sure they've forgotten all about it already. Do you have anyone who can come and help you - go in and measure one and check if it comes apart? Is there a different way into the house, a back or side door?

They sound like they were unnecessarily arsey about this. We ordered a sofa that wouldn’t fit through the door, it was annoying for us and probably the delivery company, but they certainly didn’t show it, that would be bad customer service.

@Mrsttcno1

Did that feel good to you, to kick someone when they’re clearly very down?

OP, I’ve had so many experiences of arsey delivery men furnishing a flat we rent out. I’m a confident upfront lady and still dread it sometimes as I always have to explain to them an awkward angle upstairs and they are mostly always instantly annoyed. I’ve got used to the huffing and puffing and ignore it.

It’s not worth your time, please don’t worry about it - who cares what they think, you know it was an honest mistake.

Oh that’s a shame they wouldn’t take the doors off for you. The guys that delivered mine did it as though it was a normal thing to do. It was many years ago though now though.
could you rearrange delivery and get an independent handy man/person in at the same time to take the door off? I appreciate that you may not want to interact with the sofa company again though.