Middle aged men and close friendship with young women

[Whitetruck]

I mean...I know men and women can be friends and all that, but it's amazing how these special female friends are never older and uglier...

I know a young woman (30s) who is beautiful, glamorous, accomplished in her career, funny and intelligent. Owns her own home in a beautiful part of the country.

She has two middle aged men, best friends who regularly visit her to do DIY for her. This involves a 200+ mile round trip. I know the men too and they "love her to bits", but swear it's all just friends and they love her like a sister/daughter. This has been going on for at least a decade. One is now early 60s the other early 50s. Both men are single with only short term relationships during this time.

Woman is now engaged and they're still taking trips to work non her (now) shared home. I wonder what fiancé thinks?

Anyway good luck to her I suppose, I wonder how I go about finding such reliable and keen free labour?

Exploitation, really

You sound jealous. Why does it matter to you who she is friends with?

You seem to know an awful lot about this woman and her good friends.

I had to laugh at your " good luck to her I suppose": I can just imagine you snarling that through clenched teeth because this situation is obviously infuriating to you!

I'm not infuriated, but I am bemused. Surely no one can claim this is "normal"? I know the men well and hear all the stories of their trips, but I wouldn't claim to be best buddies with either of them.

One of them has just split with a friend of mine, after short relationship, because she found the dynamic so difficult.

As I said I know the men well and one of them recently dated a friend of mine. They're people I see approx once or twice a month at social things, so yes, I know a lot about their trips because they tell me.

I've met the woman several times but know her less well. I don't know what you mean by close.

It takes two to tango!

Yes, she used to live local to us but moved about 6 years ago. Her parents are still here so she visits and joins social things when she's here.

Men like young attractive women, quell surprise

You were young once, did you never experience any favourable treatment from older men

"Anyway good luck to her I suppose, I wonder how I go about finding such reliable and keen free labour?"

Be beautiful, glamorous, accomplished in your career, funny and intelligent, and own your own home in a beautiful part of the country I suppose? 🤷‍♂️

If you can't manage that, roll your sleeves up and do your own DIY.

Yeah, this is definitely a phenomenon. People talk about sexual harassment, flirtation, etc., dropping off as you get older, but I get nothing like the same level of apparently non-sexual friendliness and help from older men as when I was younger. Not that I ever had two handymen at my beck and call.

Well obviously they do not see her as a daughter or sister. Regardless of this pair of muggins, men rarely ever harbour such warm, fuzzy fondness for unrelated women. Especially the young and attractive ones. They're hoping she'll see the light one day and drop her knickers for them.

💯 they both think they’ll get their leg over at some point.

This. ^ Funny isn't it how middle aged men (42-58 ish) - single AND married - seem to want to befriend young women half their age, and do them favours/be their support blanket. Yet I never see middle aged women fawning over 23 year old young men (who they're not related to,) and doing their washing and ironing and cooking for them, and running around after them, and doing DIY around the house for them. Never happens! 😂

@Whitetruck YANBU, and I am baffled at the posters saying you're jealous. It IS weird, and you're right to call it out! And yeah, you're right that these middle aged men never want to be a knight in shining armour to a 55 year old overweight, slightly frumpy woman, with her hair greying at the temples!