If you have adult children, do you ever do anything that you worry Mumsnet would consider makes you “the MIL from Hell”?

[CurlewKate]

For example- my DS lives with his partner in the next town over. His partner is severely allergic to cats, so they can’t visit together. Every 10 days or so, DS comes over for lunch to visit the cats-they are his cats!. I always send him home with a frozen dinner of some sort, often something that takes more time than I know they have for cooking-like a from scratch casserole or curry. My friend told me that was infantilising him and I should stop. Does anyone else do anything similar?z

Yes and similar lines of offering help. Practical stuff I'd have loved to have with a young family. I do their gardening, decorating, baby sit, cook meals and give odd pots of money (largish sums) and pay for holidays.

I constantly check in to make sure they don't feel smothered. My young life was quite hard and I want to help them enjoy life. Both capable people in good jobs so they don't need it.

Your friend's an idiot OP.

I know am because I want to meet my grandchildren before they are a month old 😂

As long as 'want to' doesn't turn into 'have a right to'

Yes I suspect breathing and being alive is enough judging by MN. I agree with others, life is hard working full time and having young children so I do what I can to help. I dare say I overstep from time to time but hopefully they appreciate it comes from a good place.

I bollock my son in law now and again 😆 He lived with us for two years while they were saving and he's lovely...but has ADHD and is chronically untidy and sometimes needs a kick up the bum and reminding that he needs to pull his weight at home .

But we are very fond of each other :) He walks into my house and helps himself from the pantry before he says hello... We are easy with each other.

We are closely entwined because I do ALL the child care to work around their shifts and I dropped to part time to help. It works very well and we've never fallen out. They asked me to with them at the birth of DGD a few weeks ago (it was amazing) so I can't be that bad😆