Would you go on these trips?

[Newfun]

I'm in a 6 month old relationship that seems to have got serious very quickly. We're spending a lot of time together. It's all good, but I didn't see it happening for me. After becoming single, after a long marriage , I was enjoying being single and learning to have adventures alone.

New man undoubtedly adds to my life, but I did enjoy many aspects of being single.

First of all I should say all of these are my issues, he'll be absolutely fine whatever I decide.

Trip one - he's going somewhere I've never been and often wanted to, with friends for an event. A mixed group, I've met them all, but don't know them well. I'm interested in the event but won't be able to participate as it's too late to get booked. I could spectate, and it's only 2 hours of a 4 day trip.

He's invited me in such a way that makes it clear he'd love me to go, but also that it's completely up to me. Part of me likes the idea of the trip a lot, and I do love being with him, will miss him while he's away. OTOH a few days alone/seeing other friends appeals, and I don't want to be part of a couple constantly in each other's pockets.

So, I'm inclined to tell him to go and have fun with his friends. I might be a bit put out if he did the same to me, but also it's good to let a person have a bit of independence?

Trip 2. Since I became single, I've made a "tradition" of going on a solo adventure each year. I have one in mind for this year, but haven't yet got round to arranging it. I really want to go and I want to do it alone for the "adventure" part. Travelling alone is completely different, you meet people in a way you don't if you travel with someone. The trip is something he'd enjoy, I'd enjoy the trip with him, but it wouldn't be "my" adventure in the same way. Is it really awful to book it and not invite him? I suspect I'd be hurt if he announced he was going off alone on a trip he could have taken me on...

I did look at doing it while he's away on the other one, but I can't make the dates work so will go about a month beforehand.

FWIW, we have another trip booked just the two of us, and two others with friends before this year is out - life's good once DC grow up 😆

Go on the 4 day trip with him, sounds fun.

Also go on your solo holiday as you planned.

Oh, I thought not cramping his style with his friends was the right thing to do. We'd be the only couple. Although the others are all married they're not taking partners (because they're long standing hobby widows, but we share the hobby).

I would wave him off on his trip with friends and I’d keep your solo holiday solo.

Even in a long relationship, you can still do things without the other. I’ve been with Dh 17 years and he still travels with friends to do things I’ve not particularly interested in, and I still have a solo holiday every year.

I think a few months in is too early to be in each others pockets.

Trip 1 I’d go. If it’s an interesting place, and leave him to mingle with the ‘singles’ so that you both have space. Trip 2 I’d go solo. You may have an amazing future and may not want to/or might want to do it again solo.

I don't know, I'm still veering towards "letting" him go on his own for trip 1

I’d let him go on the first trip on his own. As you said you don’t know them really well/be the only couple wouldn’t be able to participate in everything.
Also continue to plan your solo trip. You are only 6 months in, that’s such a young relationship. It’s normal and healthy for you both to still have your independence/trips/friends and so forth.

Trip 1 - let him go on his own with his friends.
Trip 2 - enjoy your solo holiday

Maybe plan a Trip 3 together?