Has anyone cancelled a holiday due to bereavement?

[Destrs]

DH was very very close to his DF. He was his world. He was a fantastic FIL and I, too was very close to him. His DF sadly passed away a month ago. He isnt coping well at all. The funeral was last week and he has been worse since.
He has been signed off work for an additional 6 weeks too.

We have a family holiday booked with easyJet in July and I really don't think DH will be in a fit mental state to go. He has already said he doesn't want to go anymore. I know it's a good few months away but I am not very hopeful. It is also DHs 40th birthday when we would have gone away so I know that will be difficult for him too.

It's our first holiday abroad and we have been saving for it for a good few years. It's nothing luxury but we really can't afford holidays ordinarily and did it for the kids. Fortunately, I haven't told the kids about it.

I would like to cancel the holiday but when going on the booking to try and cancel there is nothing on there to cancel for a death in the family. I'm not sure if I would even get a refund. Also the holiday is over 4 months from the death - I'm worried they would see that as too long a time. Do deaths need to occur more closer to the time of travel?

I am supporting DH as well as I can and feel rubbish thinking about money at such a time but unfortunately we are not in a financial position to let this type of amount be disregarded.

If anyone has any advice on experiencing similar, I would be really grateful.

I've been away bereved and it really helped me, took me out of the situation and helped me recover from the initial pain.

Insurance companies really are fuckers. Are you supposed to never go on holiday after one of your close family members has been diagnosed with something until they actually die?

EasyJet have a bereavement policy and we were able to move flights booked with them by a few weeks due the death of MIL. But she died 6 days before we were due to fly, not several months. Travel insurance didn’t cover us as she died of pre-existing medical considerations.

Your travel insurance MIGHT cover you but he’d need to be declared medically unfit to travel by a Dr and that would have to be nearer the time. TBH most doctors are going to tell him to get counselling and work on his recovery and a holiday will probably benefit him.

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s devastating losing a parent but time is a great healer and he will recover and get back to normal life. July is several months away so I’d get him to focus on his mental health, get counselling if necessary and see how is nearer the time.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Do you have children? I had a holiday very soon after the loss of a very close family member in quite tragic circumstances. It was the last thing I felt like doing, but it was a good thing to do. It provided some distraction and was good for DC.

Grief is difficult, but how you manage it and cope with life can be very different between the first few weeks and 3/4 months. If you have DC focusing on something to look forward to will be good for them, and in the meantime, some grief counselling might be beneficial for your DH.

Kindly, as others have said, life is for living, and ime, it is much healthier to focus how to learn to live in the world. A holiday would probably be good for you. Being away on his birthday might be a little easier than being at home where his DF’s absence might feel more stark too.

I’m so sorry for your loss. July is still a long time away and things might feel a bit better by then. I’m not sure you’d get much, if anything back in terms of cancellation.

It might help to reframe your thinking a little. People often say ‘we can’t afford to lose the money.’ Well you can because you would have ‘lost’ it if you went, it’s still the same amount, it’s just disappointing that you won’t get the same experience for the price paid.

It might be just the thing that DH needs once the summer comes around, I hope everything looks a bit brighter for you soon.

I am sorry for your loss.

Can you speak to the travel company what their deferral policy is? Maybe that gives you a bit of breathing room. I doubt a travel insurance will cover it.

But - your DH needs help, I had a colleague with grief which resulted in 6 months off as she became suicidal. He needs to see a GP to be referred, try via his work or see if there is any other help available if you struggle financially and can't afford private.

If he’s been signed off work then there is medical evidence. I would go down the gp route. Sorry this is happening to your family.

I agree this is disgusting and wrong and insurance companies shouldn’t be able to get away with it. Or even try it on in case they can get away with it.

This... we were due for go, then my mum became terminally ill. Obviously didn't go, would have been too raw to go in the weeks after, but a few months... I'd of loved to go and raise a glass to my mum in the algarve or somewhere.

If they had such a good relationship, it might be good to advise his dad would have wanted him to keep enjoying life, taking time for himself and family and c.an raise a glass somewhere amazing for his dad and remember him fondly.

This is what I do when I miss my parents.

They would want us for keep living. Doesn't mean you have to forget. Or stop mourning. But keep living for them.

Here you go, don’t cancel yet…

Depending on who you’re booked with moving it may well be an option, I moved a holiday I’d booked with Tui (I think) and they just let me move it to something completely different but still with them, think I paid a small fee to change it but it wasn’t crazy expensive or difficult to do.

Would he be open to seeing a bereavement councillor?
As your holiday is a few months away this may help him. I wouldn’t cancel the holiday yet, he may start to come out of the worst of the grief as time passes.

I think it would be better for his mental health to go on the holiday to be honest, especially as it’s a few months away. What would his dad want him to do?

Is your MIL still around?

Until you confirm whether or not you have travel insurance, every sensible reply will tell you to check your travel insurance

How much have you paid already? It may be you’re not liable for the full amount this far in advance and if you have chosen to pay might be able to get a partial refund for what you’re not yet liable to pay, but unless you took out something like Tui Flex to transfer, you’ll likely need travel insurance to cover what you have spent, and that’ll depend on their terms.

Yes easyjet are very flexible, it’s one of the reasons we book holidays with them, small financial penalty if you cancel early enough or I think you can defer for a new holiday at a later date.

But July is a few months away, I would wait until nearer the deadline for cancellation with loss of deposit only before making any big decisions.

I haven't but I wish I had.
Going on holiday when you aren't in the right place is just miserable. It's not a case of 'pushing through it'.

Have you seen this, OP? This is easyjet holidays.

Ah.. i see @Tokyosushi has already posted this.

Phone easyJet and discuss your options, I think you’ll lose a lot of money though if you cancel, you’ll probably only get the deposit back like PPs have said.

If you have travel insurance you may have a claim due to your husbands mental health (if they’ve covered mental and not just physical) I think it’s highly unlikely they’ll consider the bereavement so far after the death.

Could you move the holiday to the following year so you don't lose your money

OP speak to easyjet directly and then encourage DH to speak to the GP.
As for counselling it really isn't an option at this point as it may interfere in the grieving process and could make it prolonged or cause damage, ethically we wait at least 6 months from the bereavement.

July is still a couple of months away. Whilst I understand his grief, life needs to go on and it isn’t fair on the rest of the family to opt out of this holiday. He’s not going to suddenly stop feeling sad in October. He’s needs to find a way forward.

This is a great idea