Anyone else struggling with the holidays and kids behaviour?

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My DC are 6 and 8. They argue and fight from the minute they wake up to the minute they go to bed. They argue over everything and anything and it’s absolutely killing me.

My husband works from home so I’m spending most of the day shushing them from shouting at each so they don’t disturb him.

I’m spending a fortune taking them out to try and entertain them as the minute they are in the house (or car) the arguing starts again.

My 6 year old is very difficult behaviour wise anyway and even on her own is difficult. She is a whinger and follows me around the house going on and on about the same thing if she doesn’t feel her needs at being met the very instant she needs something. She also screams and wails most of the day. The minute anything goes wrong, a pencil needing sharpening etc, she will scream and shout. Whinging and moaning using phrases like “it’s not fair, things like this always happen to me, they never happen to brother…” I’ve spoken to her so many times about the boy who cried wolf. That catastrophic reactions are for emergencies but it goes in one ear and out the other.

I’m at my wits end with the young one, and the both of them together. The elder one on his own is no problem at all.

I wouldn’t keep them quiet because he is working. It’s their home too.

But yes, kids fight, it’s what they do. My mum used to give us separate things to do, to keep us apart.

Eeep, this sounds tough, I wouldn’t normally suggest this but could they each do 2/3 days separately in a kids club over the hols and you give some focus to the other. Plus your partner wfh is an extra level of stress, could he go somewhere else to work some days?

aside from this I would say these are pretty peak ages for fighting, try to praise any good behaviour from either of them and displays of resilience from your little one. Good luck

They are to make normal amounts of noise, just not shouting and screaming.

The last 2 days I’ve had one of them in a holiday club so that they get some 1:1 time with me. Haven’t got any more booked though so got to try and survive.

We’ve got 2 days away planned next week with a friend and her child but I’m dreading it to be fair, I will end up really embarrassed about how my two are behaving and I’m sure they will never agree to come away with us again!

I’ve been trying to limit technology but often the only way to get any quiet is to give them an iPad each and sit them in separate rooms!

Mine are similar ages and are exactly the same. One winds the other up constantly. The other cries continuously. It’s one rolling drama. Currently rowing over who turned the music down. I never know which one to tell off, they both blame the other. One overreacts, one bullshits,

Try not to worry re friend, sure they will understand. I have an only child but I grew up with a brother and we would go at it like wildcats so I get it but of course we get on now, in fact he was in my town last night and took me, my dp and dd out to dinner, it will get better.

hopefully being with another kid might change the dynamic a bit, can either of them have any other play dates or can you meet friends in the park etc?

Divide and conquer. Either sign them up for separate clubs, tell your partner to get the office in school holidays or meet up with friends/ kids and let them run off their energy outside.

Imagine being a teacher…

I am a teacher….. secondary though!

It won't always be like this.
Be firm with the whining - kids learn that pestering works if you let them. Either give in quickly or say no and mean it.
Use the iPad!
If you set consequences follow through. I think the urge for siblings to bicker is hard to resist

Park

Every day

'use the ipad'

Sure, that'll help

Park park and more park.

Completely ignore the whinging. Give it no airtime whatsoever.

It kind of sounds like you're in a complete rut with them. Do they have boundaries?

Yes they have lots of boundaries. Problem is the 6 year old pushes them all and literally gives no fucks about any consequence you put in place for crossing the boundaries!

There's your problem.

Suspected ND or 'just' being 6?

I'd have a carrot and stick approach with 6yo. There must be something she cares about. Link it to that and be consistent AF.

Just being 6 I think. It started around age 3.5, there were no problems at all with her before.

The 8 year old is diagnosed ADHD but has no behaviour problems at all really. It’s all attention and focus/concentration based and he struggles with sitting quiet. Home can be quiet chaotic as he jumps from one activity to the next quiet loudly!

Give them some simple chores to do. Either you get some chores done (bonus) or they decide you're the common enemy and go off any play together (bonus)!

Ignore the whining, hide the iPad. At that age mine couldn't have technology until they'd completed three things: been outside for an hour, done something sensible for half an hour and played nicely together for half an hour.

Me because I'm retired and they are all over the place 😂

It's not terrible to let them use an iPad for a little while to just unwind and have some quiet time.
ND children especially benefit from it being a tool to regulate.