Male Counsellor?

[Hanz1981]

Hi there,

Ive been offered some counselling on the NHS, its depression counselling for trauma I’ve been through in the past and I hadn’t given gender any thought until I was asked at the end of the call after being offered some sessions. They said the one in my area is male, is that ok and I immediately agreed, thought it wouldn’t make any difference at all.

But the more I think of it, because a lot of my trauma is male related, do you think this would have an affect on how it’s understood or how I might feel in speaking about the events? Thinking of asking for a female now (he did say he could ask about this for me if I’m more comfortable with this), this is just purely related to my life experiences, domestic violence etc.

Hopefully someone understands what I mean, but is there anyone here who’s has counselling and has a preference and any reasons why? Thank you

I actually prefer male counsellors, I’m not sure why - and I do have trauma that makes this surprising. But it’s understandable if you don’t.

I think for me it’s actually partly that I don’t want the counsellor to think they can even imagine how any of my experiences felt

I usually would choose a woman , but i had a male psychotherapist some years ago and he was brilliant

I would maybe give it a go and see how you feel but be open with him about your concerns. If it really isn't working you could ask to be referred on to a female counsellor at that stage.

I felt exactly like this years ago... I'd only ever seen females, it hadn't even crossed my mind until I had a vm saying he'd received referal and asking me to book an appointment with him. Well I almost never rang back, actually had a panic attack but I'm so glad I did ring back. I saw him for years and felt very comfortable. There's been plenty of females that I've not been so open with, maybe just give it a go?

Thanks for the replies…I’ll go with my first instinct and give it a go, it might turn out to be really good for me, which I’m hoping so!

It’s worth trying op.
I didn’t have a good experience with mine but he was very understanding and proceeded to sign post me to a better fit for my trauma.

One of the best counsellors I ever had was a much younger man. I initially felt reluctant too but I could tell within a couple of sessions he was someone who I felt at ease with. You’ve nothing to lose by giving this counsellor a chance, sometimes you won’t click with someone for a myriad of reasons.

The best 2 counsellors I had were male. I can't explain why the female ones I tried didn't do it for me....just weird. Maybe because I'm linked to that area of profession via work and know every counsellor I've met has loads of issues themselves and i don't want one with similar female issues to me 😆

I have seen an annoying young man who just said ‘that’s so hard! That is a really difficult situation!’, type stuff. He was useless and parking was difficult so only really offered the opportunity to save the ears of my nearest and dearest a bit!

I’ve seen a woman who didn’t go near the deep stuff but helped me focus on building a healthier life- creativity, enjoyment etc.

And I saw a man who was exceptional- picked apart the way my brain worked and helped me build a system to understand myself that is still going strong.

I’d say it’s entirely about training and style.