Feeling sorry for myself and pondering

[Saveafun]

To be clear, I'm not really seeing this as a huge quandary, but I'm home alone, feeling rubbish and wondering what others would do.

BF and some mutual friends are going to a sports event tonight. I would usually go, but on this occasion I had plans to meet up with some old colleagues from way back. FWIW they're all men, not sure if that makes a difference?

Anyway, I've decided not to go. I feel dreadful with a cold, can't face the idea of a hangover on top, and no one needs to sit in a pub with me right now!

I won't go to the sports event either. BF told to enjoy myself as we parted last night, we're not regular texters, he'll probably message tomorrow or later tonight to let me know how he got on/ask how my evening was and I'll see him tomorrow eve.

Would you drop a text to let him know I'm not going out and/or don't feel well, or would you leave it and say actually I didn't go when he asks?

I'm sure either would be absolutely fine, I'm just wondering what others would do.

If there’s further contact today anyway I’d mention it, if not I’d say afterwards. Wouldn't send a text specifically to tell him I don’t think.

Depends on your usual communication style really. If he was ill and didn't go out would you expect to hear from him before or after the event?

Edited to add - hope you feel better soon!

This is what had me pondering. I wondered if I'd see it as dishonest if, for example, he decided to stay in tonight rather than doing what he said he was doing.

Also, I said I couldn't go to his thing because I was out, and now I'm not.

He was absolutely fine with me going to my thing instead, but he would have liked it if I was able to go.

You still aren’t able to go though…just for a different reason. I might tell him in that situation though - but I’m not sure why or how <helpful>

This is exactly how I'm feeling 🤣 I feel I should tell him, but don't know why.

If you want him to cancel his plans to come and be with you instead just message him and ask.

Id just text that you feel ropey so you’re not going tonight, with him a lovely evening and say you’ll speak to him tomorrow. It’s no big deal is it?

No no no, that's not what I want at all. I'm looking forward to an evening of quiet and he's looking forward to his evening, I wouldn't want to change that even if I wanted him here, which I don't.

Maybe that's what I'm worried about, that if I let him know, he'll turn up 🤣

yeah this is thing, if you message him saying "i'm not well" will it set his mind running that you want him to cancel his night and come you his sympathy, which will play on his mind.

*wish him a lovely evening

I’m with @BitOutOfPractice i think. A quick message to say feeling under the weather so staying in BUT you absolutely hope he has a great evening and you’ll see him at whatever the next planned thing was.