Has anyone read Gabor maté's books?

[Mummabear04]

Gobor Maté keeps popping up on my social media feeds and I am very intrigued by him. Has anyone read any of his books? What do you think of his ideas?

He’s a vile, inflammatory, self serving narcissistic racist.

Is he really? I've really enjoyed many of his talks and podcasts. I didn't get that sense from him.

I agree he has an ego but he also can describe himself harshly.

I’ve read his books - the one that I found most useful was hold onto your kids. It made a lot of sense during turbulent teenage years in my household.

i’m not so keen when he advocates psychotics for dealing with trauma-I think that’s more to do with my own aversion drugs. I think there is evidence to support its use but I am not at ease with it.

I really enjoy his interviews, although as he gets older, he’s talking very slowly and I do find it helpful to speed him up 🤣

Only my personal opinion of course.

@Pantaloony123 yes I enjoyed that book. And agree with all of it.

Everything he says resonates with me. He seems to own his flaws and failings in interviews I've seen. I like him.

Why do you have this opinion of him? Like I said I've never actually looked into him very much apart from the odd 2 min video popping up on social media.

In what ways did you think that book was useful? (Asking from a parent who has yet to experience the teenage years!)

I had no idea he was into drugs but I guess he's a child of the 70s and was influenced by psychology of that time?

Any strong take aways from that book? If just like to get an idea of him before buying his book.

It was a while ago but he challenges this intense focus we have in society of peer socialisation for kids. So, you hear people talk about how important nursery is for socialising, all these play dates and on it goes. He says,no. Actually, this is not necessary to healthy development at all. The most important and essential connection must be with parents and they must be the guides.

Pushing too much towards peer socialisation can in his view erode the vital connection between guide and child and that is wrong for various reasons.

I read it and found myself nodding along to every part.

He isn't saying don't encourage socialising/ friends. It's a reminder to make sure you as parent remain the guide and not let friends be the key influencer, especially in teen years.

Something like this. I hope I remembered it correctly 🤦.

He did an interesting interview with Mel Robbins recently. He spoke very movingly about his traumatic childhood. It's on YouTube.

Following as interested to see what others say. One of my friends really likes him, she's very into trauma and childhood trauma etc. I've also read in Abigail Shriers book about therapy that she seems to not like him.

He seems to think all ADHD is caused by trauma which is clearly nonsense

Yes. This is what stopped me following him I now recall. I can't remember if he even acknowledges the heritability factor. Not helpful to the plight of so many.

I lost respect for him when he did interviews with Russell Brand.

He’s openly antisemitic so that’s an immediate no from me. I can’t abide any kind of racism; covert or otherwise.

What did he say that was antisemitic?

This is interesting because I thought his ideas of stress and trauma were insightful but then when he went on to say autoimmune diseases are caused by trauma I just thought oh really 🙄it reminded me a lot of the characters from apple cider vinger who preached food was the cause of illness and so his trauma is the cause of illness kind of made me very wary.

I don’t want to even waste my energy on this because he’s been so offensive. But it’s all out in the open, any info you read on him you’ll find him being antisemitic (usually using Israel as a smokescreen).

Genuine question - why is it antisemitic to disagree with the Israeli state? Surely that is different than grouping all Jews together? Is it not true that most ultra orthodox Jews in NYC don't agree with the Israeli state so is that whole population being antisemitic despite being deeply rooted in the Jewish religion/culture?

I don’t wish to reply to your question now because I don’t like racism of any kind, or anyone thinking it’s ok to question someone’s feeling that something IS racist to them as a member of that race. There are plenty of discussions about this elsewhere. Gabor is antisemitic. Full stop. I’m not going to change my opinion on what is or isn’t offensive to me as a Jew.

I guess I ask though because this man is a Jew and he had a different opinion? I am also ethnically Jewish so I am of the same race as you as you put it. My question is genuine, I'm not looking to trip you up.

Yeah, this is what put me off listening to him. He has some good parenting advice and speaks movingly about his own childhood and his relationship with his own children, plus he’s very interesting on sibling relationships/experiences.

But then he suddenly started asserting that there’s ‘no such thing as ADHD’, it’s all just trauma-related and shouldn’t be treated with medication, which I was shocked by. He’s highly egotistical and a raging self-publicist, so I wouldn’t put it past him to engineer a soundbite that gets him more airplay at a time when ADHD is being misdiagnosed and over-diagnosed.

But as a parent of a now adult child with severe ADHD, whose life was totally transformed (and I honestly believe saved) by medication and education on how to manage his condition, I’m aghast that a medical professional with a social media platform would spout such harmful rubbish. It may well prevent some parents from seeking the support and interventions their child needs, and could send adult sufferers down the wrong treatment path.

Whilst I understand that C-PTSD and ADHD can have similar symptoms I think his assertion that ADHD is caused by trauma is fundamentally mistaken nd for that reason I cannot really take the rest of what he says seriously really.

I have read a lot of his work. Personally I wouldn't be taking parenting advice from a man who openly admits to having been a poor father himself. Of course he wished he could go back and do it all differently, but that's easy said.

He has a lot of sound bite ideas and courts social media. I find him egotistical and I'm suspicious of his inability to discuss his ideas, rather than just espouse them. He gives off the 'I have learned all and if only you saw all I see, you too could be as enlightened as I am' guru vibes.