Is there a name for this type of dream, and how do I stop them?

[stopthedream]

I’ve been having a lot of unpleasant dreams lately, however, I wouldn’t say that they’re nightmares. They’re more like fever dreams, where I’m repeatedly trying (and failing) to do something, or where something seems very close to reality but is not quite right. Often based on mundane, everyday things that are relevant in my life. Definitely frustrating, confusing, and anxiety-inducing, but not “scary.”

On the nights that I have these dreams, I wake up every 30min or so and it often feels like I never properly fell asleep to begin with - which is strange as I’m usually a very deep sleeper and go through the night without a problem. Bizarrely, even though I’m waking up at regular intervals and even though I want them to end, they’re also much harder to actually properly wake up from than regular sleep. Even though I’m having an awful time, it’s like my body and mind want me to go back there.

I’ve had this type of dream before, but never this consistently, and never to a point where it feels like it’s affecting my life. If anything, I have less anxiety and stress in my life right now than I have had for the last 10+ years, and no other big life changes, medication changes, etc.

Any ideas?

I had this start in peri menopause. I take magnesium glycinate to stop it, and it mostly works, but anxiety makes it worse. I also gave up alcohol.

Thank you @DustyLee123- the magnesium sounds like a good idea. Anxiety definitely plays into it somehow, but for some reason the dreams are so much worse now that I have less to be anxious about! For context, I am early 30s and currenrly ttc so I hope it’s not perimenopause…

I get this too. It is so frustrating.

It's got a bit better in the last month but I have no idea why.

Why not have some psychotherapy to analyse the dreams? Something wants to be released...

Could it be concern about how mundane tasks may become difficult with a little one? If you have decided to TTC recently. I think it is quite normal to take a while to mourn the end of easy life and it can show up in dreams.

I too was going to say peri, because I'm having the exact same, but by your age, its far less likely.

Do you have any health concerns? Thyroid, anaemia, other deficienies? Have you been TTC for a while and its not happening? have you got other concerns like work problems, sick parents etc? Do you exercise or do anything relaxing? Some people swear by acupuncture, massage, swimming etc when TTC. Wishing you all the best.

You're ttc? Ah well, that's it then. All your dreams speak of you feeling out of control of your life, even in relatively mundane domestic situations. Having a baby is a big potential life change, so your nocturnal brain is having a bit of a time of it at the moment, that's all.

could it be hormonal (other than peri?) have you recently had a change to hormonal contraception or pregnancy?

I can’t tell you how weird my dreams went last year, for about 4 months, post a change in hormones. I had the weirdest anxiety dreams, then upsetting dreams about lost loved ones, it was quite disturbing. So much so I went back to my gynaecologist and discussed and he agreed it was potentially hormonal. I did let things settle and some months on things are better, but even so, the week before my period it invariably means mad dreams once again.

I get these type of dreams and they're horrible 😩 last one was I was looking for my car in a huge car park, seemed to go on for hours and I woke up feeling exhausted like I had actually walked around for hours! I think they're driven by anxiety or menopause 🫤

Try the following dream spell before going to bed:
It works best if you first do about 10 min of relaxation/meditation. There are many tutorials on YouTube for relaxation techniques - pick any, they're all as good as each other.

First decide on a beautiful/happy place or occasion you would like to dream about. Dim or switch off the lights. Light a match, and gazing into the flame, say "I'm sending you to a place far and deep, bring my desired dream when I sleep."

Blow out the flame, and in your mind's eye watch it going to where it has to be to bring you your desired dream. Go to sleep and wait for it to happen.

Thank you to everyone who has replied… a lot of theories to think about… I had a copper coil in before so any hormonal changes shouldn’t be related to that, but could of course be present regardless…

@Endofyearthat sounds exactly like it, yes!

To give an example: the other night, I had a particularly agonising dream about not being able to find the right makeup brush in a shop. I do actually need to get a new makeup brush at some point, but it’s definitely not something I agonise over in real life - just something I’m vaguely aware that I should do at some point. However, the dream felt so, so upsetting!

The point about psychoanalysis is interesting. Because I mostly dream about things from my everyday life, it doesn’t feel like there’s some kind of hidden meaning that I need to unpack… but maybe I need to explore why these seemingly basic things feel so distressing…

Also some interesting points about ttc. I obviously think about it - a lot! - and am well aware that having a child is a huge life change, including some inevitable loss of control and independence. However, it’s not something I’ve felt particularly uneasy or concerned about - maybe my subconscious is worried for me!?

To me it sounds as though your hormones are out of whack or you’re full of histamine or nutritionally in need. I’d ask the GP for thyroid and blood tests and in the meantime take valerian at bedtime. And drink more water, camomile tea, and get some good vitamins. Acupuncture is very good for this sort of thing if you can afford it.

I have such vivid dreams too and they are so realistic. I'm post-menopause but they probably did start peri. Maybe it is hormone related. I don't know. But I hate the "dream hangover" where they stay with me all day. I had such an intense dream last night and I can't shake it off.