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Original poster

Has anyone ever been found out via a Mumsnet post?

79 replies

clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 04:35

I’m always too afraid to post anything on Mumsnet for fear of being found out in real life.
Some of the posts I’ve read on here recently have been very outing and I wondered if any if you who’ve posted have ever ben found out?

OP posts:
FidosMum84 · 06/04/2025 10:35

I don’t know anyone IRL who admits to being on here so I doubt anyone knows me.
What I have noticed is so many threads that I could have written myself and replies from people who have had spookily similar lives (same DC ages, length of relationship, idiot exes, similar life experiences etc). So that makes it much less likely to be recognised, which wouldn’t bother me anyhow as I don’t say anything I wouldn’t in person.

Toooldforlonghair · 06/04/2025 10:35

I have recognised a post. The poster was my hairdresser and was about her wedding plans which I recognised as she had been openly chatting about them for months. The very unusual venue, clothing and other details gave her away. Whether any of her other clients recognised her I don't know as I never mentioned it to her and no longer see her.

NotsosunnyShropshire · 06/04/2025 10:37

BlondeMummyto1 · 06/04/2025 06:28

No idea bit I have recognised someone in my family.

Same here.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:49

Lentilweaver · 06/04/2025 05:50

No, but I have recognised other people.

Ooh that’s an interesting one!

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 06/04/2025 10:49

I have. By someone who lived in the same small village as me when we were both children.

Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:50

FamilyPhoto · 06/04/2025 06:19

Yes, I was outed.
I was going through a terrible time with a family member ( suicide attempts, MH crisis) and had posted for advice. A work colleague guessed my username and had told the whole team.
I de registered for while and re registered after I moved to a different country .

Oh that’s a terrible thing to do! X

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:52

I know me too! I’d love to post but this holds me back!

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:53

BertieBottsEveryFlavourBeans · 06/04/2025 06:29

I've found someone I know on here before, knew it was her without a doubt. I never mentioned it because her post was incredibly personal and I didn't want her to be upset/embarrassed that I'd read it.

I have posted some personal things here, but I name change quite a lot so if anyone has recognised me they won't find out ALL my deepest darkest secrets 😁

😂🤫

OP posts:
stealthninjamum · 06/04/2025 10:53

I was once on an Aibu thread in which the op. was complaining about a situation with their neighbour. I have an acquaintance in a similar position as the neighbour and the op seemed to have missed bits out of the situation that would probably have changed the responses - about 50% of the thread felt the op wasn’t being unreasonable and if they had said the truth it would’ve been overwhelmingly against them.

i did a search for the poster and they had commented on their child’s school so I guessed it was the neighbour of my acquaintance. I asked why they had missed bits out and lied on their thread. They got mumsnet to take the thread down because they’d been identified. I find it so odd that someone would post a situation on AIBU with lies and omissions just to get a bunch of strangers to agree with them - surely they’d have known they’d lied? It’s such strange behaviour.

I never told the neighbour about the thread because she was in a mental health crisis and didn’t need to feel neighbours were putting up misleading posts about her.

Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:53

FamilyPhoto · 06/04/2025 06:32

It was a horribly toxic team managed by a toxic manager. HR were already supporting me via the Employee Support service.
One person was given an official warning - she had printed off my posts to hand around the team.
Unsurprising I left that team soon after this happened.

Show quote history

Why on earth would she do that?! What an awful thing to do. Karma will come her way

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:54

kezzykate · 06/04/2025 06:41

No but I recognised someone I knew. Didn’t know her well, I worked with her husband, but I looked at her posts when she mentioned her three children’s unusual names. She had also mentioned the city they lived in and other identifying info and asked about some personal situation. I didn’t say anything to anyone obviously but have been careful about what I post now.

Maybe she wasn’t bothered about finding out if she put her family names on there. I’d be too scared!

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:55

Frostykitty · 06/04/2025 06:42

When I was going through my divorce, I posted on here. I was offloading, plucking up the courage to press go on the application.

Two weeks later my stbxh (at the time) confronted me and was furious. Demanded that I deleted the post etc. Apparently he'd "stumbled across it" and recognised himself straight away. I'd actually held back a lot so it wasn't identifying.

Oh someone grassed you up for sure!

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:57

Holdonforsummer · 06/04/2025 06:59

My twin sister and I both found each other very easily! It only took a couple of posts.

Hope it find cause any trouble for you both x

OP posts:
spicemaiden · 06/04/2025 10:58

I have. My ex husband found me. Nasty piece of work.

Thanks for the reminder - I’m due for a name change

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 06/04/2025 10:58

I've never spotted anyone I know. I sometimes think 'ooh, that sounds like so-and-sos position' but it's never anything specific enough that I could pinpoint anyone, and besides I instantly forget the username.

I don't altogether care about being recognised by anyone in turn. My life is a fairly open book (I blabber a bit) and most people who know me would just shrug and not bother too much.

Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 10:59

OneWaryCat · 06/04/2025 07:57

I actually amazed people say they are keeping things vague to avoid being outed. Fair enough nor using names etc, but I have no idea how the hell anyone would ever recognize anyone? Surely mumsnet has thousands of users and lots of scenarios are quite generic - 'not invited to birthday party/upset about a will/husband is cheating, etc.

I think people are probably just over cautious.

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 11:01

FiestyFeyre · 06/04/2025 08:47

I have both been recognised, and recognised someone else.

I posted a VERY specific situation and knew if anyone I knew was on here they'd know it was me, in hindsight I should have name changed for it. Friend mentioned it casually to me and I didn't mind about the post but then felt a bit embarrassed about my posting history, although I later looked and there was nothing bad really.

I name change for outing posts now.

I also spotted a friend, I have to admit I did look at her posting history out of pure nosiness.

I didn’t even know you could look at someone’s posting history!

OP posts:
Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 11:03

GymWanker · 06/04/2025 09:04

Going back about 10 years I remember a thread where the OP was having a pop about a woman on the school run (I feel like she mentioned a red dress but I can’t be sure) and the woman found the post and came on to put the record straight.

That’s stuck in my mind for some reason. I always wonder if people who are described as CF’s recognise themselves!

Ooh I’d like to have a read of that one! 🤭

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 06/04/2025 11:03

Yes I was. I had 3 concurrent threads on here some years back because I was going through a really hideous high conflict divorce and I really needed support. Somebody recognised some details about the OW involved and reported back to her and my now ex husband. They printed all the threads out and took them to the police and reported me for harassment 🤣. Police weren’t interested. Ex also took a copy to court. I think they were more pissed that they’d be exposed for the disgusting people they were as their public narrative was completely at odds with the facts.

Original poster
clickyteeclick · 06/04/2025 11:06

stealthninjamum · 06/04/2025 10:53

I was once on an Aibu thread in which the op. was complaining about a situation with their neighbour. I have an acquaintance in a similar position as the neighbour and the op seemed to have missed bits out of the situation that would probably have changed the responses - about 50% of the thread felt the op wasn’t being unreasonable and if they had said the truth it would’ve been overwhelmingly against them.

i did a search for the poster and they had commented on their child’s school so I guessed it was the neighbour of my acquaintance. I asked why they had missed bits out and lied on their thread. They got mumsnet to take the thread down because they’d been identified. I find it so odd that someone would post a situation on AIBU with lies and omissions just to get a bunch of strangers to agree with them - surely they’d have known they’d lied? It’s such strange behaviour.

I never told the neighbour about the thread because she was in a mental health crisis and didn’t need to feel neighbours were putting up misleading posts about her.

Wow! Good for you!

OP posts:
HelenWheels · 06/04/2025 11:08

there are questions i could ask, threads i could raise
but i am more likely to sit on my hands to avoid outing myself

ConfessionsOfaSecretAgent · 06/04/2025 11:50

stealthninjamum · 06/04/2025 10:53

I was once on an Aibu thread in which the op. was complaining about a situation with their neighbour. I have an acquaintance in a similar position as the neighbour and the op seemed to have missed bits out of the situation that would probably have changed the responses - about 50% of the thread felt the op wasn’t being unreasonable and if they had said the truth it would’ve been overwhelmingly against them.

i did a search for the poster and they had commented on their child’s school so I guessed it was the neighbour of my acquaintance. I asked why they had missed bits out and lied on their thread. They got mumsnet to take the thread down because they’d been identified. I find it so odd that someone would post a situation on AIBU with lies and omissions just to get a bunch of strangers to agree with them - surely they’d have known they’d lied? It’s such strange behaviour.

I never told the neighbour about the thread because she was in a mental health crisis and didn’t need to feel neighbours were putting up misleading posts about her.

I wonder if this was the one that my neighbour posted about me.

anicecuppateaa · 06/04/2025 11:53

I have. I posted some specific details about a health issue and was recognised by an ex-colleague.

mobilephonesoff · 06/04/2025 11:57

My oldest school friend is on here - I know which forums she posts in - she mentioned mumsnet to me as I good source of advice. She also has a specific set of personal circumstances and two main interests / hobbies.

One day I recognised her username (related to a pet) and I stopped reading and left that thread. I steer clear of threads of her main interests deliberately to give her peace as mumsnet is her outlet. I think that is the decent thing to do. She has been through some traumatic events in her life and I want her to have a sanctuary.

Psychoticbreak · 06/04/2025 14:07

I may be recognised through a series of posts on one specific set of threads if that makes sense but I changed my name for any posts on there and its one specific issue however I wanted to give full honest details looking for full honest answers and nothing to hide anyway really so not sure nor do I care if people recognised who I was. Aside from that I dont read enough posts to recognise anyone. I only look on certain topics out of interest.