Twisted......

[BlueBrickRoad]

I don't want to go into too many specifics.

I am harassed on and off for a number of years after the breakdown of a friendship. It happened after a night where I had an arguement with her. That arguement was never planned. It just happened.

She turned on me after that. I tried to apologise but she ignored me. She started sending me messages which was interrogating me and everything about us and insulting me. She was claiming things that weren't true. Like saying 'all you ever wanted was to see me fail.....yiu were only ever jealous of me...'. At first it was a few messages. Then over time it increased. Blocking attempts were never enough because of fake profiles etc and different avenues. She only ever increased her efforts over the years. Legal avenues failed me. Police didn't want to know because she wasn't threatening me. Civil also failed me because I didn't have the means for an injunction. She still continues to this day. The stuff she writes is unreal it's insults and interrogation and vulgar things. I don't respond by the way.

A new communication came in from her where the tone is yet again one of anger against me and more blame and talking about old arguments and she had a list of points that she complied for an application threatening legal action against me. Referring to stalking and harassment and claiming I am stalking and harassing her. The only thing harassing her is own own mental health and hatred against me. I don't know.

I have a lot of what she sent me by the way. She is claiming I am abusing her. Even though I am not.

Anyone been in this position before? Is it bluff? Is it a new way to try and provoke me.

The last time I responded to her was two years ago to ask her to stop contacting me. It only just angered her and fuelled her campaign for months.

What social media is she messaging you on? If it's instagram, make sure your account is private and turn on the setting that doesn't allow people you aren't friends with to message you. How to Control Who Messages You on Instagram. If you don't accept any requests from people you don't explicitly know then you won't get any messages from her. If it's facebook, you can do the same. How to Control Who Can Send You Messages on Facebook + How to Make Facebook Profile As Private As Possible.

It's not these. It used to be these avenues but she must be bored or blocked or not allowed to make any more. It's currently email. There's no block function on my email.

This reply doesn't help though. She is threatening legal action against me when she is the harasser.

She won't have a leg to stand on legally. I'd just save all her communication with you and don't reply, but it really just sounds like she wants a reply/rise from you.

You can block people on email, I know it'll be a pain to keep blocking her new addresses but I reckon if you block several of them each time you receive an email she'll assume you've changed your email address and stop contacting you. How to Block Emails on Gmail, Yahoo, and Outlook in 2025

Yes, I know she won't have a leg to stand on crimmally. As in within criminal law. She would have to go into a station and make a statement and hand up her phone and then there is the prosecuting department. Crimmally she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

However, how about within civilly? Can she apply to the courts like that. Would the courts entertain her?

I haven't responded to her in a few years. She made a list of points against me.

There's just some level of insanity from her.

Yes, my guess is that I haven't responded to her to date and she's likely angered and she is likely just trying a different way to try and coercion a reply and response out of me.

I got a sense in all of this is that she hates me and doesn't want a friendship with me but she won't let me go and she wants to control me to fix her feelings.

The stuff she sent me over the past number of years and the stuff she wrote to me and what she said were insane too.

The courts wouldn't entertain her as she has absolutely no proof (since you haven't replied or seen her). She can threaten all she likes but nobody would entertain it since it's very clear she's in the wrong.

Thank you for your reply and for helping me out my mind at ease. I have hundreds of emails from her and even within the past two years where I haven't responded to her once and all of her emails are rehashing out past and demanding for apologies and insulting me and calling me names.

I have no interest in having a friendship with this woman. Reading between the lines it looks to me as if she wants me to repair the friendship but I don't want anything to do with her. There is no room in my life for someone who is filled with intense hate and spite and it's never ending.

In her most recent campaign she has referred to old arguments from 2007 and 2008 and 2009 and she wants to include all these points in her application.

I know crimmally she has no leg to stand on whatsoever. The bar is so much more lower within civil law.

But if she does turn down the civil law route I will be able to show years of abuse from her.

Change your email and don't log into that one anymore.

That actually isn't the answer any more.

I changed my number before but then she got it again and I had to change my number twice altogether. If it's not the number it was fake profiles. If it wasn't fake profiles it was contacting anyone associated with me. If it wasn't that it was emails and mail.

Changing my email is not the answer. It only stops it for a little bit. Nobody understands unless you're in this abusive twisted situation. When you are dealing with someone who is obsessed and determined, if she can't get me one way, she will get me.

Changing my email is just not the answer any more.

It's not going to fix it or stop her.

@BlueBrickRoad

Do you have the funds to consult a solicitor? The only way to stop someone like that would be to get a legal order prohibiting her from contacting you. I think in the UK it's a 'non-molestation order'. I'm not sure exactly how enforceable they are or what the penalties are. Where I am it's a restraining order and it has some real 'teeth' to it, including jail time.

I don't understand why the police don't consider this harassment or cyberstalking. That's why I think you need to speak to a solicitor. There are times when the police will fob you off with excuses and half truths rather than do their jobs.

Oh, and there is a way to set a 'bounceback' to an email address. This 'rejects' the email and returns it with a message "This email has been rejected" or similar. Of course that's only worth it if she repeatedly emails you from the same address. But at least if you did it for the first email that comes from an address she's using you wouldn't get anymore from that address.

How would I did this. I explored Gmail and even in the desktop and I wasn't able to find such an option. There is some sort of an option somewhere but all it does is send the emails to spam to be deleted after 30 days. I never did that but directed the emails into its own separate folder so I don't need to see them or read them. However the folders number climbs up and up and up. It's a good thing I never sent her emails to spam to be deleted because here she is now threatening legal action against me and there's a lot of stuff within those emails.

Its not ideal but I will be able to afford a solicitor. Where I am, those court orders were never in place until the past two years. However it's such a new law where I am, many solicitors still don't have experience with it. I was contacting solicitors back in October and November of last year to help me approach the courts for an order but no solicitor replied back to me. Then I had a quiet patch from the indicviualt and it was the first quiet spell of three months since all of this started years ago. She's now back with a bang demanding for apologies while it's mixed with insults and intimation and threats. The threats are not physical threats. It's more physciolical eg - 'lets see what your employer thinks of you' (AGAIN).

This is a person who hates me but wants me to fix her and won't leave me alone. She doesn't want a friendship with me but she wants me to fix her feelings.

See a solicitor for your options, but at the very least they should be able to do a cease and desist letter. I would have thought this was harassment bordering on stalking.

Maybe contact the Suzy Lamplugh Trust or the National Stalking Helpline. Or Citizens Advice. Keep copies of all communications from her.

Yes, I went to solicitor about 4 years ago looking for a cease and desist letter and he was so good to me. He really was.

He explained it to me. He asked me was I in a position to follow through with an injunction because that was the only civil option open to me at the time. I never had the means for an injunction. Also the person harassing me has no assets like a home to claw back on if needed.

He explained that without me having the funds for an injunction, sending a cease and desist order would be idle threat and it had the potential to leave me open and more vulnerable to the person in case she escalates. He said that for a lot of people a threat of legal action is enough to get them to stop what they are doing but he said that for some other people it fuels them more and more.

I think what he said, at the time I wasn't happy with what he said but he was right. Taking what I have experienced if I sent her a C&D letter she likely would have increased her harassment against me.