Friendly one minute, the next ignores

[Newyorklady]

Have you come across people who one minute are super friendly and the next act like you don’t exist.
How do you deal with these people if you have ?
This is specifically someone I work with.
One minute super friendly, asks after how I am. Next acts like I don’t exist.
It’s harder at work as you just can’t ignore back but I feel like telling them to do one next time they try to come nice.
I often feel they become passive aggressive towards me and I’ve no idea why.
This has gone on for about 3 years now.
Advice on tactics how to deal with this ?

Yep. Usually nice to you because they are after something. If you're surplus to requirements then they don't bother talking to you 🙄🤦‍♂️

Make sure you aren't accidentally speaking to two halves of identical twins.

Other people’s shit is their shit. Unless it was actually impacting on my ability to do my job, I wouldn’t give it any headspace. Be civil, don’t feel the need to respond to whatever she seems to be giving off.

This is actually reminding me that I once thought someone I knew slightly in my village was very hot and cold. Sometimes she was animated and friendly and chatty, other times she blanked me, stonefaced. It was only when someone told me about a year later that she was quite visually-impaired that I worked out that she would be friendly when she heard my voice or we were close enough for her to recognise my face, other times she didn’t know who I was.

I can be like this.

But my life is actual hell. So some days I can hold it together, function, smile and chat and others I am lost in my own world of trying not to jump into the road. Sometimes I can just be a complete cunt as I am lashing out at the world around me.

I must be a fucking nightmare but I really can’t think about other people.

I personally think this person suffers from jealousy and is quite competitive.
i have recently been getting a lot of compliments in our management group about some achievements at work. And my team is doing well.
Said person tends to be friendly if they want gossip and to hear about things if I’m not in a good place, and then cold shoulder if I’m doing well.
Currently my team are on the up and we are developing in lots of ways.
My issue is when she comes all nice I give in and act like everything is ok then when she gives cold shoulder I tell myself to never bother with her again.

I can be like this in certain scenarios.

For instance, school pick-up or playground.

Some people are easy to chat with.

Others, the click just isn’t there…

So, I have to make small talk with them.

But I can’t always come up with new material.

Standing back seems to be the answer!

It’s why people get their phone out, I think.

Google intermittent reinforcement.
It's not just a thing people do in dating. It happens in non-sexual/work/friendship relationships too.

When people would repeatedly do this to me I stopped acknowledging them
completely. I don’t have time for people who treat you good one day and then act like you don’t exist.