38 and single

[TheMoonAndTheStarss]

I don’t know what I want from this but I just feel really sad I guess. I don’t want to sugar coat my possibilities. I’m 38 and single. Have been for a long time and I can’t see it changing. I’m very lonely and would love to meet someone but it’s just so hard. The apps don’t work for me.

Please don’t say to keep trying on the apps. I think almost just accepting things would make me happier and easier to get on with my life. But I do just feel sad at the moment. Just having a wallow really.

I guess if you do want to meet people and not on apps then getting out socialising would be good. It sounds like it would be good for you regardless.
Have you tried googling any local groups or clubs? Cinema club, walking meets. Volunteering.

Do you have children? If so, school activities?

No children. I live in London but am struggling to find groups. I do go out day to day but don’t meet many people.

Sorry to hear this. Have you ever considered therapy? It can help get you out of relationship ruts, where you’re repeating the same patterns over and over. Helps with friendships too!

Have you tried getting out of London?

It clearly isn't working for you. I moved there to study, spent 10 lonely years there, moved somewhere friendlier and that solved the problem.

Do you have friends or family outside of London who can help you get established elsewhere? What are your interests?

I was 37 and long term single in London when I met my husband . Met him through a sports club. Keep yourself open to possibilities and try to be as social as possible.

Thank you. Unfortunately I’m from London and would find it hard to leave because of work. But yes it can be unfriendly and I find just so lonely.

I had psychotherapy for several years. It did really help me get over some family stuff and process some things but I do think by the end my therapist gave up on me going out and finding someone.

i am very sociable but my social circle is small and not particularly outgoing so that doesn’t help.

Could I ask what sports club you did?

im not very sporty. I like Spanish but find it expensive to learn now.

Bump

What about speed dating or another dating meet up?

Im 38 and single and i love it.

That’s great. But I really don’t and find it hard.

Where in London are you? I know you’ll knew if you grew up here, but it’s a big place and there is a big difference between inner London and zone 4. Is there somewhere more friendlier?

If there anyway you can focus on small things you like? For example I get a lot of enjoyment out of a quiet walk and just saying hello to the local coffee barrister who I know. Stopping for a quick chat. That sort of thing. Sometimes it’s the small things that can add up and help ease your feelings of being lonely.

If you are social the little things you like may differ to me (im not overly social) but I still think the advice remains.

If you’re not sporty there’s plenty of other activities or social groups to consider.

Not sure if this will help but I suppose it’s worth noting that many many people are lonely, both single and those in relationships.

sorry that you’re struggling xxx