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DH is constantly discussing people’s appearances.

12 replies

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 03/04/2025 21:58

When we watch TV or something, my DH is constantly talking about what people look like. He’ll talk about if people have put on weight or something and I find it irritating. I have told him how I feel about it but he’ll never change. We have 3 small DC and I’m not happy with them hearing all of this. What should I do?

OP posts:
Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 03/04/2025 21:59

He also talks about people IRL (behind their back) and I find it annoying. Him and his brother also have an obsession with ‘fat people’ (his words) and will point them out constantly. It’s very tiresome.

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 03/04/2025 22:00

If it bugs you that much, leave him. You're never going to change him.

Warmingsunshine · 03/04/2025 22:38

Is this something new ? Because if he was like this when you met him why on earth did you end up marrying him?
He sounds extremely petty and unpleasant.
Why don't you try getting up and walking away when he starts his nastiness. Refuse to listen and refuse to engage.

stayathomegardener · 04/04/2025 00:20

Is he slim and attractive himself? Usually not the case I find in similar circumstances.

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 04/04/2025 00:29

People who do this are usually trying to cover up their own inadequacies in a different area, by all accounts.

Maitri108 · 04/04/2025 00:32

He's unhappy. People do this when they're resentful, angry, jealous...all the negative emotions.

He obviously wasn't like this when you got married so what's changed?

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 04/04/2025 11:59

stayathomegardener · 04/04/2025 00:20

Is he slim and attractive himself? Usually not the case I find in similar circumstances.

The thing is, he actually is! But he’s lucky. He has a fast metabolism so he can eat what he wants. He’s mid fifties and it still hasn’t caught up yet.

I just zone out but I hate what it’s teaching my children.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 04/04/2025 12:35

This would infuriate me.

Does he know the medical history of every fat person he ever sees? I suppose he thinks it is a lifestyle choice that most of us have made and doesn't bother to think that we didn't actually decide we wanted to look like that.

He's an arse, and as someone with medical conditions ( which you cannot see) that have affected my weight for my whole adult life I would be unable to live with such an ignoramus.

EmeraldDreams73 · 05/04/2025 09:12

My exh is like this. Used to drive me mad. I left him because he was narcissistic and emotionally abusive but this remains a horrible memory. He still does it when with our daughters and they loathe it.

Pigeonqueen · 05/04/2025 09:28

I think I’d have to say loudly “what a horrible thing to say” every time he does it in front of the dc. But I just couldn’t be with someone like that in the first place to be honest.

Lamelie · 05/04/2025 09:31

Good luck!
Autistic DH, bought up by 2 parents with ED still does this. Before DD1 was born I pulled him up on it, explaining how it’s boring but more importantly will impact our DC’s attitudes to food.
30 years on…
3 healthy uninterested in weight/ calories DC without ED’s who think it’s just Dads weird special interest.
I will still comment on him commenting:
“Trunky want a bun?” (looking at someone’s plate, commenting on what their eating)
“Your light’s not shining” (we’re Christian)
“We don’t talk about weight/ calories.”
But mainly I just eye roll.
If it’s his only/ main fault you can manage it.

LightDrizzle · 05/04/2025 09:36

My late mother was a shocker for this, mostly about women and it was said with very unattractive schadenfreude in her case.

It would send me round the bend if I had to live with someone doing it. Have you asked him why he does it?

If he’s ignoring you and making no attempt to stop I’d just take the remote and pause or switch off every single time.

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