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Problematic people

3 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 03/04/2025 00:36

Ok- so, I’ve taken on the role as a manager in an environment that isn’t entirely stable and a little toxic. I took the role on in Feb not knowing any of the pre existing issues.

I have 6 members of staff on my team x2 are off one with stress and one with anxiety. X3 have friction between one another and dislike each other so much they don’t want to attend meetings together. Finally, one is just refusing to do anything she is asked.

I had to have a meeting with the team about expectations today. The refuser, looked at me when I asked her to do something and she said “with all due respect I don’t understand why I need to do that” so I calmly said “well it’s an expectation of the role” and I got “well it wasn’t before you started and I can’t start doing what you’ve asked now”

Essentially she’s refusing to follow an actual instruction I have given her. I said “at some point you will have to compromise and complete x or y task. I’m escalating the matter and my line manager will also discuss this with you”

She exhausts me. She never says hi or bye to me. She’s talking about me in front of me, she’s just nasty and I’ve been warned about her and I document everything. I escalated it and got “yep we knew she would behave this way.” So I said “well someone needs to do or say something because this just won’t work otherwise”

Im really trying to keep it together. Im autistic. ADHD. And my face sometimes has its moments where it speaks before I do.

Can someone give me some advice. Everyone at work is p*ssyfooting (to put it politely) around her and being nice. But I just really feel like boundaries need to be installed. I’m her manager. It’s that simple. The rudeness isn’t necessary particularly when I ask politely.

please help I’m at a loss.

OP posts:
Randomer27 · 03/04/2025 00:40

My honest advice is to get another job.

Alternatively be prepared to go through the process of sacking each of them.
It really sounds like a case of The Devil Making Work for Idle Hands.

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 03/04/2025 00:42

Randomer27 · 03/04/2025 00:40

My honest advice is to get another job.

Alternatively be prepared to go through the process of sacking each of them.
It really sounds like a case of The Devil Making Work for Idle Hands.

The thing is. I took this for progression reasons and I won’t have the experience to apply to an equivalent role:( but I’m just not happy.

OP posts:
Breathless035 · 03/04/2025 00:52

Document everything. Have a meeting and discuss what's expected of her. Give her positive feedback on anything she does well, then outline improvements. Set some goals.

If she's unsure of anything, offer training, courses, mentoring. Monitor how she's doing and give feedback and support.

You can contact Acas for advice.

The team sounds toxic which possibly explains why so many people are off. You need to get the clashing colleagues in the same room because it's ridiculous they can't attend meetings. They're like school children.

They don't have to like each other, they have to behave in a professional and polite manner whilst at work. I would try to get to the root cause, explain your expectations and start disciplinary action if they continue to play up.

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