Mutual friend has told current BF that we were much closer than we were

[Platespare]

So for a while, before I met current BF, I had a bit of a flirtation and a couple of dates with a male friend. For a while I thought maybe getting together was something worth exploring, but he got flaky and cancelled plans etc, so I stepped away.

Current BF is a friend of his and he has led him to believe we slept together, and that things didn't work out because I wanted to get serious and have him play happy families with my DC (who are adults!).

This could not be further from the truth. We had a couple of snogs, but no sex and I expected him to turn up when he said he would! I was perfectly happy to see him once in a while and the only time he met DC was when I fed him, and they happened to be here.

We've remained friends and we often see him still, as we move in the same circles. BF is a very good friend of his, although has distanced himself a bit.

This has made me cross, but all I can do is move on and keep my distance/pretend everything is normal?

Fwiw these stories were told before anyone ever considered that BF and I might get together.

At the time I was seeing this man, I really didn't want a serious relationship , an occasional date was all I wanted from him. 2 years on and things with new BF got serious ** quickly and he is involved in family things (a bit), which is how he wants things, but I guess that does "prove" I wanted something more serous.

I think as long as your DP understands and believes you, that’s the most important. I’d also be tempted to confront your friend and ask why he suggested this?

I would ask him why he lied

I hate this sort of secret blabbing. Your BF has told you something which had a 50:50 chance of pissing you off, but expects you to suck it up because he wants to keep the peace with a gobshite. Warn him you are going to call out your immature, lying friend on his BS and make sure you do it when the three of you are together so that there are no further misunderstandings.

It’s completely normal, though mildly annoying, admittedly, for someone to have a completely different, self-protective or self-aggrandising narrative of your relationship, and why it ended. He may even believe it, or at least some of it, himself.

I don’t think I’d give it a second thought. I’d point out to my boyfriend that I didn’t want to hear him passing on whatever nonsense an ex had come out with about me.

Was it your boyfriend who told you this? Did you then tell your boyfriend what actually happened?

Your post suggests it was and that you did, with your boyfriend ‘distancing himselt’ from his friend.

If that’s the case it’s annoying but would let it lie and just avoid loser friend, unless you find out he has been lying again much more recently.

“Bob, why did you tell Dave - and presumably other mates - that we had sex when we didn’t?”

This!