Not on street WhatsApp!

[ThereWillBeSigns]

Would this upset you?

We've lived here for 8 years and just found out there's a street WhatsApp that we've never been asked to join. It was our new neighbours who told us about it - they've been here 18 months!

I wouldn’t want to be in it to be honest.

I’d be relieved.

Well I don't do WhatsApp and I have no idea if there is a street WhatsApp group here.
But yes I think I would find it really creepy if I found there was and that I had been specifically excluded.
I would feel like I was back at school and was being excluded from the cliques again.
I'm not a Social Media person and I find it very problematic and divisive.

I am quite upset - even though I'm pretty sure it would irritate me!
There's something that they've 'all decided' about the street and someone had to approach us to ask about it. (Not something we've done/not done just to do with street furniture)

I suppose it would be like learning you weren't included in the class WhatsApp and then someone realising they needed your contribution to the teachers present so having to go up and ask you at the school gates!

I wouldn’t leap to being purposefully excluded to be honest.
our’s was set up in Covid by one person who sent around a handwritten note to the residents. So easy to have missed and then I wouldn’t assume it was followed up or even tracked who asked to join. It’s far easier to highlight to people when they move in than to keep check of making sure everyone responded to the original note.

I agree. It's quite a leap to assume you've been deliberately left out. It's much more likely that the original invite was misplaced or binned by another family member, especially as it sounds like the group has been running for a long time.

Okay - that's a good way of thinking about it!

I really don't want to assume we're somehow considered outcasts - the whole thing has made me miserable TBH. I'm surprised by how much!

Wouldn't know if there was one or not, wouldn't be bothered.

Exactly. (And I only discovered there was a class WhatsApp that had existed from the start of Reception when I sitting beside another parent actually posting on it at the nativity play in Year 2. I didn’t get bent out of shape about it, just asked who the administrator was and to be added.)

I scuttle around trying to avoid the woman who runs ours. Can't think of anything worse than being involved in the clique-y judgemental bs that goes on on there (I say this because my NDN is on there and sometimes, much to my amusement, tells me about the drama!)

Just ask to be added now and think no more about it. Whilst there is a remote possibility some arse deliberately excluded you, it is much more likely it was a mistake (see Trump’s Signal group as a fine example!!).

I only joined our street Whatsapp last year and it has been going since before covid. Lived here 20 years, over 100 houses. It's v boring and mostly admin: moans about badly parked cars, bins and sometimes a plant swap or request for loan of something. I don't think you're missing much IMO

How do you get on with your neighbours and people on your street? Do people have your number?

I was only added after I actually took a neighbours number for something else (she then mentioned the group and asked if I wanted to be added). I was never approached about the group per se.

I found out we had one and we’ve lived here for over 20 years. To be honest it sounds a pain, with people whipping each other up over stuff.

But it did also cement that I’ve never entirely felt at home here.

People are rarely purposefully excluded; it's far more likely you were just overlooked. Don't start seeing malice that doesn't exist. Ask someone who's on there to add you if you want to be added.

I found out there is one last year from my NDN, who moved in after I did. So I asked if she could add me, and she did. Job done. Now I too am privy to all of the gossip and bulky rubbish collections and notifications that the parking inspector is around.

I only discovered I wasn't in DD's primary class WasApp when it came to leaver's hoodies! The amount of bitching and infighting I missed must have been remarkable.

I'd be quite pleased op.

We live in a teeny tiny village. No shop or pub. 100 people live here. No sign of any what's app and equally I've never done more than smile at my neighbours in the village or occasionally comment on the weather or the dogs.

You dont need a WhatsApp connection with people who are not your friends.

I started a community WhatsApp because people kept saying they wanted one but didn't start it. We stretch over two miles. No way I'm hand delivering print flyers asking people who want to join to send their mobile numbers so they can be added--I haven't got time. So I asked people to publicise it to their friends and neighbours and added a link to the community FB group and the parish council also know about it.

It's for everyone to use and I haven't got the mental headspace to think of people I purposefully want to exclude.

So far it's just been bins, lost dogs, flooding, pot holes. That's fine, that's what it's for, as sometimes we can't get out of the village in bad weather and if someone makes it through, it's useful to know how.

Probably it’s been so long they all just assumed you were on it. I’m on various big WhatsApp groups and I don’t check the members list very often so it would be easy to not realise that someone had been missed.

Ours is neither cliquey nor judgmental. It's actually very useful. We can help each other out a bit and share information. It's not used every day, but I've found it very useful. No-one "runs" it.
OP, just get someone to add your number.

Our block of flats has a WhatsApp. About 4 years ago a neighbour sent round a note to everyone.

fast forward 4 years. No more notes, loads of people bought and sold. Everyone just got added when someone mentioned it.

I sent a note round after Christmas and had about 30 more people contact me. Loads of flats up for sale currently, so I’ll drop more notes in about 6 months.

im not going to bother sending notes unless it looks like we have a flurry of new residents.

I just keep thinking about what we might have done wrong! And although it's probably nothing, like a PP, it does make me realise I don't really fit in here.

I'm not going to ask to join - if they want money then someone will be delegated to ask us in person, and I'm sure we can live without knowing the rest!

Dear Lord, why would you want to be part of yet another tedious group, with people banging on about trivia? I have lived on my street for decades, I've no idea whether there's a WhatsApp group, and I certainly wouldn't join, if asked.. They are just for nosy neighbours who have nothing better to do

Our street has one. A note through the door. I didn't want to be on as being on class what's apps is enough. But our neighbours are and they give us a gist of what's going on!

It's more the thought that we moved in and were considered unapproachable or not the right sort.

I do agree that WhatsApp groups are usually tedious - its about being left out or excluded. But I agree it probably wasn't deliberate.