How do you sustain taking the less popular course of action?

[ADifferentSong]

Hi, on MN there is an often thread which really divides people as to what the ‘right’ course of action is. Often I find myself going along with the less popular view, which the majority of posters might describe in negative terms, such as ‘petty’ ‘mean’, etc. I don’t want to mention specific threads because it’s not about any particular one. It’s more about, having read all posts, I would still choose the one perceived negatively by the majority (assuming that by following this course of action it did not actually harm anyone else).
But, having said that, I would still perceive myself as ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ for taking this route. Yet, to go the ‘popular’ route would be a betrayal of my own beliefs. Does this resonate with anyone else?

I think lots of us often disagree with the direction threads go in. Sometimes it's because we interpret the original scenario differently, sometimes the course of a thread has been affected by one or two early responses, sometimes we just disagree.

I certainly wouldn't see yourself as wrong or bad- trust your own judgment over that of a bunch of random people (+ assorted bots) on the internet. But if reading different views helps you keep an open mind and question your assumptions in a healthy way, that's all to the good.

I don’t feel similar in that I don’t feel ‘bad’ if I have a minority view. However, if my opinion makes someone else feel bad I do sometimes feel guilty. For example, my views about nutrition and healthy eating could be considered extreme relative to what is typical. One time in a thread someone really lashed out at me when I said it was wrong to give packaged fish fingers to a 1 year old. The strength of their reaction made me stop engaging with the thread because I assumed I had made her feel like a bad mum and I didn’t take pleasure in upsetting her. However, I still was secure in my own opinion.

A lot of people might answer one way about a theoretical situation but not the same way in real life- particularly if the other person is family or if the other person would know it was them who did something.

Nobody on here will know what you did unless you announce it. Plus remember that lots of people will be put off replying if the majority post the other way or if it’s a thread where the reply usually goes a certain way. For example if someone posted about reporting a benefit cheat, it’s easy to predict how that will pan out so many people who would report wouldn’t post because they cba to fight the “it’s not your business so leave it alone “ brigade.

Thank you for all your replies. I suppose the reason I started this thread is because IRL I might generally not take what would beperceived as the moral high ground. I wouldn’t set out to take a course of action that necessarily harms someone else. I think it comes from having a hyper-critical inner child and it is very difficult to reframe the narrative.

As with all debates, if you want to get involved it's good to be open to changing your mind otherwise it's just people saying their opinion and not being open to thoughts, ideas or experience that they haven't come across before. In a democracy, usually, or should, the more populous decisions are taken as the road to take. Sometimes you are with that group, sometimes not, but shutting down informed, interesting, important debates is never a good thing.

I think sometimes people will follow the crowd on threads, whether they personally would take that particular course of action. I find it interesting to read other people’s views and sometimes will change my mind but in my own life I’m not going to make a decision purely because the hive mind thinks it’s the right thing to do.

You can never fully articulate the complexity of a situation online. Discussions get derailed by someone picking up a minor point and making a big deal
of it, people project their own situations and feelings etc - it’s all part of life online. I think some posters get very over involved demanding why the OP hasn’t done x, y or z which brings ridiculous pressure to fall on the popular side of the argument. Take it all with a pinch of salt and do the thing that feels right for you.