Why would someone practically nag someone to go to an event and then drop out themselves, I am a bit worried...

[thoonerismspread]

I don't want this to be a TAAT but I posted some months back about this, my friend has bought me a ticket to an annual event, for 17 years running.

This year he didn't buy me one and I posted about what to do at the time. I didn't expect him to buy me one but I found it odd that he just didn't, and didn't say anything to me about it.

I found out from his girlfriend (who I am also friends with but not as much longevity/history) who told me he hadn't and practically nagged me to get my own ticket. I wasn't sure I wanted to go, and I especially didn't if friend didn't want me to go and that's why he hadn't bought me a ticket.

In the end it turned out okay, girlfriend told me he'd bought his and her tickets when they were both very drunk and had forgotten that normally he'd get me one at the same time. He bought me one, I decided to go-the end.

However now, I've learned (via the group chat for the event, 20 or so of us in it)that girlfriend has dropped out of the event.

I've messaged her and asked if she's okay, why's she decided not to go and she's said 'Just don't fancy it this year'. I said she seemed very keen a few months ago when asking me to confirm I'm coming, is all okay? She said 'I know!' and that's it.

I don't think it'd be appropriate to msg my friend and ask what's occurring here. I am seeing him this weekend (he's coming over with another friend for an event on Thurs night more accurately).

Would you find this a bit odd?

Sorry if confusing.

Sounds as if you've got too much time on your hands.

You've all been going to the same trip for 20yrs?! Do something different for God's sake. It's like those inlaws that go on group holidays every year and noones allowed to back out

Yes, I didn't know how to approach it and wanted different people's opinions. I found that thread very helpful.

I go on lots of different trips and we meet up to do other things too. Not sure if that's relevant. We all have other responsibilities and lives and other friends, this is just 'our thing'. In the original thread I had mentioned that I'd wanted to back out for some years, I found the logistics difficult but I was wanted there so I went, and for the last 2-3 years of going I did enjoy it again. This year, I wasn't so bothered either way but again was nagged to go so it seemed weird that the one person who seemed very keen for me to not back out, then backed out themselves.

I wish this was true but unfortunately the ability to find a few minutes to post something on a forum does not equal having too much time on one's hands.

If it does, we can only conclude that everyone who posts on mn (or any discussion orientated online space), doesn't have a life, job, family or any responsibilities at all.

Could it be that he did not want to buy you a ticket to this event this year

I think it’s rather rude that you contacted his girlfriend and asked if he was going to? 😂😂

I assume this ticket has significantly increased in price over 17 years!

Possibly the GF told him to stand his ground and say no I’m not buying this year but he couldn’t face it so she said righty ho then well I’m not coming - to make a point?!

Well the first sentence is what I worried about initially. I was reassured at the time, that this wasn't the case.

I dont nderstand what you mean in your second sentence?

Yes it has increased in price. When she was first getting in touch to tell me to come and buy a ticket straight away I did mention this and say I didn't at all mind if he didn't want to doit any longer.

Not impossible is it. I have a feeling it'll come out, whatever the reason. It just has me concerned, although I didn't jump to it being something to do with me.