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Original poster

SIL has been really daft, hasn’t she?

31 replies

Mearse · 01/04/2025 10:47

SIL, mid 40s, had owned her home for 20 years. Only a very small mortgage left on it. Has two children but never married their fathers, one of them lived with her for a couple of years but left.

8 years ago she met and married a guy. She fell out with dh for a long while when he brought up protecting her house for her and her children. This man was the love of her life, he was never going to leave her, dh was the devil for suggesting that she protect herself financially for the future.

Now, he’s left her. MIL says it’s all fine as the house is in her name, she owned it before she met him, but he’s sent SIL some messages saying he’s taken legal advice and will be after a share of the house in the divorce.

So, now she is panicking. Dh has booked her an appointment with a solicitor for later this week and will go with her, but honestly, he’s so annoyed that she wouldn’t even discuss protecting herself when she first met her soon to be ex husband.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mearse · 01/04/2025 17:58

TheGaaTheSkaAndTheRa · 01/04/2025 16:37

She needs separate advice, not some lemon he's got in his pocket. That would be compounding the silliness.

She will end up giving him a nominal sum but it will likely be a small fraction and nowhere near 50%

Arrange to see three or four solicitors and you go with her if she needs support. Do not let her just listen to one lawyer and sign on with him whatever you do. If I had done that, I would not have my own home now. I kept asking the questions until I heard what I wanted to hear and I paid the ex 22k and done and dusted.

He had spent it all in a month. I didn't care. :)

Show quote history

Dh hasn’t got anyone in his pocket, where on earth did you get that from! Fuck me, I wish he did have some local solicitors in his pocket, that sounds handy 🤣

He called a local solicitor who deals with divorce and made her an appointment because she had started panicking over it and was putting it off. He’s got a few days off work this week so he’s started the ball rolling for her, what she does after that is up to her, but at the moment, she’s swinging inbetween panic and burying her head in the sand.

ETA - sorry @TheGaaTheSkaAndTheRa i thought you were saying dh was like Bruce Wayne or someone, paying out the local solicitors 🤣🤣

I do wish he was though.

OP posts:
TheGaaTheSkaAndTheRa · 01/04/2025 18:04

Mearse · 01/04/2025 17:58

Dh hasn’t got anyone in his pocket, where on earth did you get that from! Fuck me, I wish he did have some local solicitors in his pocket, that sounds handy 🤣

He called a local solicitor who deals with divorce and made her an appointment because she had started panicking over it and was putting it off. He’s got a few days off work this week so he’s started the ball rolling for her, what she does after that is up to her, but at the moment, she’s swinging inbetween panic and burying her head in the sand.

ETA - sorry @TheGaaTheSkaAndTheRa i thought you were saying dh was like Bruce Wayne or someone, paying out the local solicitors 🤣🤣

I do wish he was though.

Edited
Show quote history

Yeah, doh! I read it as her husband was taking her to see a (possibly crooked) solicitor as I had stuff like that with my ex.

I'm on pain meds - Soz. I have re-read it and realised I am a pilchard!

<slinks off swearing off Codeine and vodka forever>

Original poster
Mearse · 01/04/2025 18:04

PIL really aren’t helping matters at all.

MIL has accused dh of meddling, saying SIL doesn’t need a solicitor, she owned the house for years before she met him.

Dh actually saw a similar situation play out with his old boss years ago, she had to hand over a large chunk of her assets to an ex husband, around the time SIL married her soon to be ex, which is why he raised it at the time (and got shot down). He was just looking out for her and her children.

OP posts:

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Ddakji · 01/04/2025 18:08

IsItAllRubbish · 01/04/2025 17:21

Christ what a wonderful SIL you are! Splashing her personal business on the internet so we all know how wonderful you are and what a dipshit she is! Poor woman, have a bit of compassion.

But maybe this will help another woman not make the same mistake.

Original poster
Mearse · 01/04/2025 18:11

IsItAllRubbish · 01/04/2025 17:21

Christ what a wonderful SIL you are! Splashing her personal business on the internet so we all know how wonderful you are and what a dipshit she is! Poor woman, have a bit of compassion.

Yes, I’m even going to get this thread printed and put on a cake, just to be a bitch.

Come on. This forum wouldn’t exist if not for posts like this. It’s good to hear others experiences of this.

OP posts:
Cabbagefamily · 01/04/2025 18:17

NormasArse · 01/04/2025 10:49

A good solicitor should sort that out. Did he pay towards the mortgage at all?

Well, it’s not simple at all. She will likely have to hand over some assets.

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