What do you do with DP during the week?

[Gelatibon]

I'm only 5 months into a relationship and we seem to have settled into seeing each other almost everyday. ..

Our weekends are busy out and about, often with friends (we have a lot of mutual friends) so we're not exclusively together, but are together a lot.

During the week, we either exercise together or watch TV. "Before" I hardly ever watched TV, but TBH I'm not sure I did anything else either, just pottered about a bit after work until it was time for bed.

It feels a bit boring, which doesn't feel right this early, but I don't want to be out and "busy" every night either.

We do nothing. I run around doing everything and he sits there and watches his phone or TV. We talk for about 10 minutes.

Sounds like you’re having more fun/interaction than I am.

I mean, there's no right / wrong amount of time to spend together, or amount of that time that has to be particularly active.

How come you are seeing each other nearly every day ?

Do neither of you have things you do on some evenings ?
Hobbies / volunteering / studying / boring stuff like housework or laundry or shopping or admin / seeing family / seeing friends / sports / social 'sport' like 5-a-side or badminton / etc ?

Well we’ve been together a few years so evenings are spent doing jobs/dinner/washing up before we crash for an hour in front of the tv, have a chat and go to bed!

I know it kind of "happened". I was happily single for a long time and thought if I ever did get with someone it would be a once or twice a week thing to fit in with my busy life.

However, I met someone who was part of my busy life, so he's at all the things I do normally. I.e. training and nights out with friends, he's part of the friendship group and clubs I belong to, so I see him even when I'm not on a date with him iyswim.

We have always talked a lot and debated subjects as well as having a laugh. Have played games together, board, video and card. Had sports teams each, lots of mutual friends. Used to nip to the pub sometimes. Lots of walks.

So for example, last night was a club night, which ends at 8:30 then he'll come here to have a coffee and watch TV. Tonight I'm doing a thing I've done for years, but is connected to the common interest that brought us together, so he'd like to come too, on Thursday I'm going to see a band with friends, but he's part of that group and would have been there anyway. This weekend I'm going overseas to compete, so is he, all planned long before we got together.... We'll go to the cinema on Weds, that's the only thing that "ours" but I will have seen him every day.

I squeeze housework in in 15 minute slots, but I've been doing that or 20+ years, since DC were small. I can't be doing with giving over a whole evening or afternoon to it.

why dont you play games, scrabble, cards or whatever
go to games pubs

It sounds fine to me op, although I'd maybe want some separate time too. To lower the tone somewhat, 5 months in with DH sex filled quite a lot of time....

I've got to say, even though it's so nice to have some joint interests- that would absolutely drive me crazy. He's literally going to be part of every single minute of your life, after only 5 months together. I appreciate it's circumstances, but bloody hell that's very full on very quickly.

I personally would either be introducing a night off a week, or joining another hobby if possible for one night. I would also try to make a point of partnering up with other people, not him, for the hobby if that's how you do it. Do you see other friends outside the hobby?

I really hope this relationship works for you, as if it doesn't, it's going to affect every single corner of your life, that seems very scary.

Yes, tbh 5 months into our relationship we weren't watching much TV....

5 months into a relationship, we were going to the cinema, or to the pub, sometimes out for a meal in the evenings. Every now and then we’d go to a gig. We’d watch tv at one of ours as well, but on the nights we saw each other we’d often go out. Or, like a PP said, at that stage in our relationship we were having a lot of sex too. But then we were in our early twenties! Now, with a child and us in our early 40’s, there is a lot of TV watching once our 10 year old is in bed. But sometimes we put some music on and have a couple of glasses of wine, chat, play Scrabble. Or read. If our DC is at a friend’s for a sleepover or on a school trip then we make a point of going out for dinner together. Not exciting, but it is lovely to be settled and relaxed.

Yes, I know...

Go with the flow.
Don't listen to people who say things like "WE weren't doing such things at 5 months," in a critical way. It is YOUR relationship and it's really unhealthy to go against its tide just because other people do things differently. Do what feels right and comfortable for you both.

I would suggest enforcing a couple of nights a week apart just to ensure you retain that sense of individuality.

We are a similar time into our relationship, but both have been married before and had other LTRs as well. So we aren't naive. Yet the number of long-term married people who may not have even had as much relationship experience as us, who think they can make comments about what we should be doing at what stage, is actually insane. It really does affect your ability to just settle into the relationship. So what if someone wasn't watching much TV at 5 months, and was having sex 3x a day: we aren't all the same. A lot also hinges on your lifestyle and whether you have children/ ages. You're clearly very happy and are reflecting in a completely understandable way.

Enjoy it!