Trying to stay strong

[mumoftwoboys321]

So I’ve recently found out my partner of 17 years has been cheating with a woman we met last year messages photos meet ups, he knows I’m done and I know I’m done as much as I love him that doesn’t switch off over night god I wish it would, he’s always had battles with mental health and he keeps bringing it up which scares me that he’ll do something stupid and the thought of that happening to my kids is destroying my mind we’re having a talk Friday as things need sorting and arranging, why is it that something that is already destroying me being made worse with this don’t really have any where else to ask so just wondered how to navigate this

Just do what's right for your own health and wellbeing and for your children.

Threatening self harm is part of the script. You are responsible for your own emotions and behaviour, not those of your ex, so anything your ex partner chooses to do from hereon is not your business, it's on him.

That's horrible, sorry. It will take you a while to detach but this is not your fault. Reach out to as many people as you can.

I’ve forgiven him for things before but this time it went to far he didn’t care about me or the kids, I know some where in him he loves me but he also wants or needs other women and I just can’t go on like this flirty messages hurt but actual meet ups and not so much as a single thought towards me in The last few weeks and the sad truth is I probably would of forgiven him but I didn’t cross his mind.

I feel for you, being cheated on by someone you love and who you think loves you is a horrible discovery. Been there myself, as no doubt many of us have.
You must remember though, that you are not a hostage to his mental health problems, and any threats to harm himself that he makes are absolutely not your fault, no matter how much he tries to spin it that way.

He doesn’t love you, he only loves himself. That’s why he didn’t give a thought to you while cheating. He probably took pleasure in knowing that you were unaware because that’s how twisted people like him are.

The person that you love is just a facade, that’s not really who he is. And now he’s trying to twist the situation to make himself a victim by threatening self harm. My ex did this, first time I was panicked, worried about the impact on the kids. The second time he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t take him back, I told him that it was his choice to do that but I would be reporting his threats to the police so they could do a welfare check/take action.

Funnily enough, he’s still alive and kicking now.

I keep telling me self his mental health was fine while he was carrying on like a pig he wasn’t even bothered when I got suspicious still kept lying and cheating, funny how when he knows he’s lost us its now an issue!