Hi Everyone, I am looking for some advice regarding youngest DD who is 16. Her father has taken her for an assessment for ADHD/Autism without my knowledge (I do not communicate much with him as he is very verbally abusive towards me) She told me about it the morning she went. She has struggled at school a bit since the lockdowns and a bereavement at that time. She was seeing a therapist, which she said helped a bit. It is this therapist that recommended the assessment and her father is paying privately for it. I am unhappy that he did it behind my back (he also told the psychologist that he had told me and sent me the paper work - which was a lie) but ultimately if it helps my DD I am ok with it. What is worrying me is that as her primary carer for 16 years I have never noticed any signs or symptoms that she may have ADHD or autism. There is no family history on either side of this, and I have spent some time researching and looking into it as I am aware that girls often present as ok, but can mask inattentive ADHD. Despite this, I still cannot match any of the symptoms to my DD and when I ask her about it she doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push her. (My older two DDs also think it is nonsense) I am feeling very confused and upset - I am worried that I don't know my child at all, and am almost gas lighting myself thinking that I imagined her perfectly normal childhood. She seems perfectly happy in herself at home and with her sisters, and has never really given me much to worry about beyond the usual teenage stuff. Any advice greatly received!