If you could, would you actually?

[Louisethemum]

we are just finishing up renovating our home. We live in an area that means it will sell well even in the current climate. For years we’ve had dreams of moving 3.5 hours away to a place we know very well but don’t have connections. A home has come up and it ticks every box. I wouldn’t have to work and we would also be mortgage free. My husband can work from anywhere. My daughter is ASD and is starting a mainstream secondary September where she won’t know anyone in our current area so could be of little difference starting there (it’s an OFSTED rated outstanding and smaller school). Sticking point is my primary age boy who is shy and has a lovely group of friends, a firm and popular fixture in the youth football team etc. neither child wants to move.

would you move knowing you’d have bigger and better, no mortgage and not have to work? Facilities aren’t as good but area is lovely and lifestyle would be better.

I get in my own way all the time due to fear and anxiety. It seems like such a good opportunity but I’m fearful it will all go wrong. WWYD?

We had a similar opportunity when our DC were at school and stayed local as our son had good friends. Huge mistake. We lived under constant financial pressure throughout their childhoods. We now live where we should have moved to 15 years ago. Cheaper, less nosy and I love it. Ten miles from our old location. Nearer to my family and I've swerved some school gate mums I didn't particularly like.
Dc are very adaptable. My DS was a county sportsman, team GB athlete, he isn't now. He does have a good job in London.
Tip, don't give up work. It will bore you stupid. Even if you get a pt job do something. Good luck.

Do it!!! It sounds an amazing opportunity.

We’ve been desperate to move for years, but didn’t because of the girls school, although one was terribly bullied, and the other was in constant trouble. Then my husbands parents became unwell, so we didn’t want to go too far. Then they died, but our youngest daughter had a baby, so didn’t want to go too far from her, and my dad now has dementia. Also my husband really loves his new job. It feels like the world is against us moving away from a place we hate.

It sounds like a perfect time for you. I hope you absolutely love it

I have a SEN DD and smaller schools definitely better.

Generally I'd say go for it - sounds an amazing opportunity to be better off.

However I'd be checking what there is around for your kids when they get older - you mentioned facilities wont be as good.

When your kids are older/teenagers they will need colleges, activities they can get to independently (ie check public transport options) and eventually they will need employment. Does the new location cover their future needs?

This is what I’m afraid of, getting in the way of myself, looking back and wishing we didn’t stay. Im sure I would get a job. I would love to work part time in a school, but I bet working feels different when you don’t have to be there! The cons column just feels so huge even though there’s just a couple of things in there! I almost wish my husbands job or our livelihood depended on it. Then it would be a no brainer. But I think I’m too weak to make the decision

@its2025it could cover future needs, but not like our current area if im honest. That’s definitely in the cons column. We have hand picked the area with the best facilities and transport around for the area, but it’s still small fry compared to where we are now.

I'm retiring this year op and I can tell you the financial freedom from my shares mean I'm only taking on what I truly like project wise this year.
I mentioned my son's sporting success because he was outstanding but ultimately he didn't go into a sports profession. Not even a sports degree and many people would have said the next big name. Your daughter will benefit from a smaller school, that I know. Make sure the DC can drive early if you are a bit further out. Check food deliveries too.

Yes, definitely. We moved 2 hours away to an area with no close friends or family for a beautiful house and better lifestyle and moved 2 dc in school. We took on a decent mortgage to do it too. Absolutely no regrets. We live in a wonderful area. The house is gorgeous. We have sea and forests and rivers to swim in. Kids adjusted very quickly. Literally new best friends and off to play dates and birthday parties within 2 weeks.

@mindutopiaim so glad your move worked out! How old were your children when you moved? I’m worried we’ve left it too late for our mid-ks2 boy!

Depends where it is.

There's no way I'd move somewhere with less resources than where I currently was. I want to know that when the kids are a bit older they can get public transport to most places and not rely on me driving them everywhere. I want to know that when I need to get a pint of milk, it doesn't mean a 20 minute walk or a significant drive. I want to know that if I needed some sort of specialist medical care, I wouldn't have to travel the length of the country to get it (not too specialist - I mean like cancer care or something).

jeez How is this even a dilemma ?
Morgage freee !!!!
not working !!!!!
fuck me I’ll run off with your husband to timbuktoo to have that !

‘Facilities aren’t as good but lifestyle is better’ is a massive oxymoron IMO. Having grown up in the middle of nowhere, it’s not fun for teens.

Why is it you get to stop working and your husband has to carry on?

Is there an alternative where you an both drop to say 3 days a week?