What is a reasonable timeline for engagement and having children?

[melliebe]

DP and I were having this discussion last night.

We haven’t been together long, but know we would like marriage and a family sooner rather than later.

I am curious to hear opinions on how long couples should wait for these things? Assuming that they are financially/emotionally stable etc.

When you're able to have meaningful conversations on what each person thinks a marriage is, the goals in building a life together, things that are important to each person in that, whether children are in a picture and come to a sense of both being compatible in going forward and that there is a foundation that you can build together as many of those idealised plans will have to change.

In short, it's when people can apply reason and understanding to the relationship, not just feelings. For some, that's within months. Others never really get there.

There's obviously no answer as every couple is different, why would you need an arbitrary time scale?

We knew each other for years so when we decided to get married, we got engaged and planned the wedding immediately and got married within 6 months. Had kids 5 years later by choice.

Age is everything here. I was with Dh 7 years before engagement, 9 yrs before marriage and 11 before children. But we met young and were in separate house shares etc and didn't move in together until we were 8 years together. By contrast my pal went from being single to being engaged married and a mother within 3 years but she was 31 when she met her DH.