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Am I the only one who doesn’t have any friends

34 replies

Nearlyy40 · 31/03/2025 10:09

I am approaching 40 and I’ve never had a good friend. I have made the odd Mum friend along the way, but life gets busy and they lose touch, I had what I thought was a good friend a few years ago, but I found out she got married one weekend and she never mentioned it, so I think she saw me as a casual friend rather than a good friend.
I was bullied at secondary school and didn’t have any proper friends, I used to spend my break times in the toilets at school and lunch times I’d go out of school and go for a walk alone. I recently saw a social media post of an old school student who had a big 40th and there were women there who she knew from school, it made me feel a little sad that I never was able to make friends at school and I found myself wondering what it would be like to have a good friend now. I’m quite an introvert, but I’m friendly, but I’ve always wondered why I haven’t made friends easily as many others do.
I think I’ve found peace within myself about not having a friend, but I do wonder how common it is to reach your 40’s and have no friends.

OP posts:
Nearlyy40 · 31/03/2025 13:29

FoolishHips · 31/03/2025 12:21

I'll get told off for this but are you autistic? If so, you'll probably only form successful friendships with other neurodivergent people. Like Fern Brady says, autistic people have a different operating system to neurotypicals, so it's like an Apple device trying to communicate with an android device...it's possible but it's not as easy.

I do have friends but they're all ND. They can be difficult to find in a lot of areas. Move to Cambridge and you'll be fine.

I have no idea if I’m autistic. I possibly could be.

OP posts:
ffsgloria · 31/03/2025 13:31

As previous posters have said, the friends I have are pretty much all ND.

DilemmaDelilah · 31/03/2025 16:04

I have no friends at all. There are people I am friendly with but they are not friends, I like them and I think they like me, but that's as far as it goes. I am 64 and have never had friends.

WildJadeWasp · 15/04/2025 16:46

Haven't had friends since secondary school. I got into drugs so my fault.
I'm 40 in December and I hate big birthdays as have never had a party for one.
Currently wanting to take a lot of sleeping tablets and hopefully never wake up but I can't because of DH and DS.

Miche11e23 · 15/04/2025 16:48

I can relate!! Where are you from?!

candyflo55 · 03/05/2025 09:30

Where is everyone from ? If any of us are local to each other we should try and organise a meet up x

Needacupofteaandcrackers · 21/11/2025 22:24

@candyflo55 good idea I’m near London

candyflo55 · 22/11/2025 10:36

@Needacupofteaandcrackers I’m from Teesside 😭x

JanetRobertaSnakehole · 22/11/2025 22:46

Same for me. I have work friends and some couples I socialise with with my DH, but nobody I could really call on if I needed someone to talk to. I don't think I have anyone that would consider me their good friend.

I'm pretty introverted, but I think I am a nice friendly person. I'm possibly ND but never diagnosed.

Someone above said move to Cambridge... I live in Cambridge and still don't have friends!

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