A stranger you'll never forget.

[SallyIsEverSoNice]

I'm sure there's a slot on a BBC radio show about this, but I wondered if there is a stranger who did something to help you that you wish you could thank.

Years ago I was travelling alone by train to meet up with a group of friends. It was in the days when Wembley Stadium was being refurbished and there was a big football match final (I think Liverpool v West Ham or similar) being held in Cardiff, where I had to change trains.

I got off the train, walked along the platform into a huge group of fans, somehow turned around and smacked my forehead so hard into a cast iron pillar that I knocked myself out momentarily. When I came round, an older (60's? Maybe 70's) last was helping me up, sat me on a bench and checked me over and got me onto a train, she even carried my case. She made me promise I'd phone the friends I was meeting, which I did.
I never got a chance to get her name, let alone thank her, as it wasn't her train and she vanished. I spent the weekend with a golf ball sized lump on my forehead but I really appreciated the kindness she showed.

Has anyone ever helped you and you didn't get a chance to thank them?

When I was 17, I travelled up to York from West Sussex for an interview for my university course. Because it was so far to travel, I'd stayed the night before in a BnB. The morning of the interview, I left the BnB and promptly got lost. I was walking up and down the street, completely failing at trying to navigate my way to the university and getting more and more stressed about being late. I asked a woman coming out of her house if she knew which direction the uni was in. She told me jump in her car and gave me a lift the whole way there! That was nearly 20 years ago now and I'm still so grateful to her.

DD was about 4 weeks old and I was meeting my mother in Stamford. I breastfed her, but it wasn’t particularly smooth sailing. I was exhausted and went in a pub called the London inn - aimed at the young crowd! An older lady working behind the bar noticed me, came over and moved a big wing back chair next to the fire and a footstool and made sure I had privacy, then fetched me a pint of water and told me to have some lunch and look after myself! I could’ve cried. She was lovely.
Again in Stamford, I was shopping with DD(about 5) and XDP. We were in a shop and she was being difficult, he insisted on staying to do what he needed so I took her outside. There was a gallery next door and the owner popped out and distracted DD and was so lovely and kind to me. I’ve never forgotten her!
and lastly, the man in a club who came up to me, bought me a drink and said I was very beautiful and he hoped I had a good night. Didn’t make a move, wasn’t slimey or anything. Never saw him again but he made me smile!

I used to work in a town centre bar on the weekends. Parking very close by so I was never worried about leaving work and getting to my car safely.
One weekend, there was a big event in the town and certain areas, including my usual parking spot had been pedestrianised for the duration of the event, so I had to park in the main town centre car park that was a 5-10 min walk away.
As I left the bar, a man was definitely following me. I crossed the road a couple of times and sure as shit: he crossed and followed me again each time. I was getting seriously creeped out. Further down the street, I noticed a group of middle-aged women outside an Indian restaurant. I headed their way and as I approached I said something along the lines of “Is the taxi not here yet? Thanks for waiting Mum!” and gestured subtly over my shoulder towards the man.
Every single one of the women in the group played along, and when their ride did arrive, they insisted they drop me off at my car.

My 10yr DC went to the local shop alone for the first time ever. All proud he was, shopping bag and shopping list. He dropped and lost his £10 and only realised at the till. Was totally panicked. A lovely lady paid for it for him.💐 He was still shaken by the fear and embarrassment and it did knock his confidence for a bit. We had a chat about what he could do if this happened again and where a safer place to keep the money would be. But what a lovely example this lady showed him. He still remembers this lady (and always zips his money away) I feel sure he now knows to do the same for someone else in a predicament.

Many years ago I used to spend a part of my day visiting hospital wards and recording ECGs. You need people to relax because any muscle movement is recorded as an artifact on the ECG, but that often isn't easy for everyone.

So I would ask people about the get well cards or the photographs they had on the side table and some shared some fantastic stories, many had been young adults in WWII so I learned about smuggling Jewish children out of Germany in coffins!

The Italian lady who met and married a British soldier.

And I'm sure a few more will come to mind now I've started thinking about them.

So yes, all of us have a story.

One for me one was quite scary. On holiday in Chicago in the 1980s. At the time the South Side was a full-on ghetto, very dangerous place. Murders and rapes were very frequent, crime sky high. That morning there had been a shooting in a school playground and tensions and retributions were ongoing.

We got on the wrong bus from the lakeshore gallery back downtown (a stopping bus rather than the express). As soon as a passenger pointed in out to the driver he pulled over. He addressed the whole bus "folks, these nice young white kids have got on the wrong bus, if it's OK with you all I'll miss out stopping at certain stops if it looks too risky. Is that ok with you all ?" Everyone on the bus agreed. Then we got chatting to a couple of fellow passengers who told us to put away our camera (god we were so naive !), how to manage situations of they arose, how to diffuse things, what to do if shooting started. They were so lovely, giving us advice on how to stay safe.

It changed my whole perspective on racism. It was the only time (up to that point anyway) when I'd been the only white person in a sea of black faces. We stood out, and would have been obvious targets if anything were to kick off ( which apparently it did quite often in that part of the City and especially on that day). It made me realise the vulnerability of looking different to everyone else, of standing out and how isolating that can be. Skin colour shouldn't matter but it sure as hell can make a big difference. I finally understood that being 'colourblind' was a totally shit concept.

The journey was an eye opener - people lying on the streets, drugs being sold out the back of cars, audible gunfire. Scary shit. That lovely bus full of people made sure we were safe, even if it meant they missed their own stops. Such kindness of strangers.

The other one was less scary - my DC was so hard to handle when tiny. She kicked off all the time. I ended up taking her to nursery half dressed or in PJs as I physically couldn't get her dressed. It was so stressful and she knew exactly how to wind me up. I was walking go through the high street with her screaming, strapped into the buggy, half dressed, me stoically carrying on, tears brimming, feeling so ashamed that I couldn't be a good mother and that everyone could see it, and what the hell was wrong with my DC. A lovely older lady came up, put her hand on my arm and talked. They are tiny for such a short time, she said. Take a breath. This will pass. You are doing ok. Let me walk with you for a while. She did. I calmed. And it did pass, eventually. And my DC is a wonderful feisty, brilliant young woman now. All that fierceness and energy all crammed into a tiny body was hard for her. That lady helped so much.

These stories are wonderful.

From 18 to 25 I was in a DV relationship

One time, my ex had chased me down the street, I had our daughter in the pram and I was running for my life. The way our area was it was a straight road but it had a little side road, I ran down the side road, he didn't see and carried on running, saw I wasn't on the long path, came running back, ran over to me with his fists raised

And a tiny woman with a dog came out of now where, stood in front of me and told him to fuck off before she rang the police. I'm 5'1 and she was smaller than me. She walked me and my daughter all the way home ( lived separately to ex, had moved out when I was pregnant but wasn't strong enough to end the relationship )

I'll never ever forget how brave anf kind she was. My ex is 6'3 and weighs around 18 stone.

The best bit of this one is the 'Well, this won't do at all!' 🤣 I can just imagine an assertive older woman saying that. And how relieved you must've been 🙂

I was very into cycling a few years ago. Cycling up a hill out of town one really wet morning, I rode past a bus stop. A very small, very old lady was waiting for the bus, leaning on a walking frame. As I passed, she said to me "I used to do that. We had some wonderful trips". I've always wondered about her, and her cycling memories.

Cyclists are often soooo kind. Dh is a cyclist and has many stories of other cyclists helping him out often women cyclists. One cycled to the next town to get her boyfriend to bring his van to rescue Dh.

I will never forget the two ladies who helped Wilf last year. He went to the National TV Awards on his own..
On his way back to Victoria his tube train stopped at Canary Wharf as someone was unwell. The train at Victoria was the last going back to Kent. He rang me in an absolute panic as he thought he would miss.his train. The two ladies heard our conversation. They volunteered to take him off the tube. They took him on another line to Victoria. Took him off.the train and walked back to him to the guards on the platform. I spoke to them.a.couple of times during the journey. If they hadn't helped I hate to think where Wilf would have spent the night... I will be forever grateful to them both. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

Love this thread. It restores your faith in human nature.

This thread is just so heartwarming. It should make us all think and try to help others as much as we can.

A guy who was sat diagonally
opposite ds on a train, me, dh and the other dc were sat on the 4 table next to them.
We had a beer each for the journey (not 13 year old ds!!) as we were going one sunny afternoon to a festival, the guys heart must have sank as we all clambered onto the train and parked up next to him for the 1 hour journey.
At the end of the journey we got up to leave and we wished him a peaceful onward leg and he said what a pleasure it had been listening to us chatting and laughing away with each other and what a lovely close family we seemed.
Just thought it was a heartwarming observation of our family and he was so kind to say it. Still remember his words.
Kindness means so much to people, we should all do it more where possible.

Travelling to Edinburgh for a friends funeral that morning, sat opposite a lovely man (maybe 15 years older than me at the time) just remember we had such an amazing, heartfelt conversation about life and everything else in between. He was such a genuinely lovely man… 😌 when he comes to mind I feel a swell of warmth inside me.. 😌 he seemed such a wonderful person.

My late partner used to get travel sick. On anything. Cars he wasn't driving, trains, metros, coaches, airplanes, but especially boats.

One day we had to take our hire car back from Orkney to the Scottish mainland on the ferry. Weather was NOT good. We settled at a Formica table, I lined up a few sick bags and sat across from him as he concentrated on not throwing up. It was going well (despite the bouncy sea) until his phone rang and broke his concentration.

When he started throwing up, it was now my job to take the sick bags to the bin and bring back more. When the boat eventually parked, the Captain came on the tannoy and asked car passengers to take their cars off. I couldn't leave my prostrate boyfriend (plus he was the only one insured to drive the hire car).

After the Captain kept asking for the last car to leave the boat before it went back to Orkney, a lady approached and asked 'is that your car they're mentioning?'. I said it was. She said, 'would you like me to drive it off the boat, you can get him off, and I'll park it on the quay and leave the keys on the front seat?'. I looked at her and thought 'are you going to nick our car?', decided I didn't care, and gave her the keys.

When we got off, there it was on the quay as promised. THAT'S the kindness of strangers! If she's on Mumsnet, thanks, lovely lady.

About 15 years ago I was in my local shop and a lady complimented my hair, she said it was lovely and thick and I’ve always been quite self conscious about my hair because it’s frizzy and just a bit crap but she was so kind.
Anyway we got chatting and she told me her brother was buying a super fancy house down south and she was excited to visit him. She told me the house had belonged to a model who I hadn’t heard of but she then explained her brother was a record producer, turns out he’d produced some of my favourite albums and what made me really happy was this Hollywood music producer with his fame and skill, all his contacts and money and she was just excited to see her brother. I don’t know why but there was just something so pure about her, so proud of him and just wanting to talk about how amazing he is and how much she had missed him. When I listen to albums he’s produced now I think about that lady and hope she’s got to see him more.

Bump

A lady on the train when I was 22. I’d been unemployed after graduating for 6 months. Had an interview at a newspaper a month prior but heard nothing. I was feeling rubbish to say the least. Was relying on my boyfriends (now husbands) money.

They called while I was on the train and offered me the job and a higher salary than advertised. I was grinning my head off but, trains being shit, couldn’t get through to my mum or partner to tell them.

The lady knew something was happening and asked. Which was so lovely. I told her… turned out she was an editor at the Guardian (a competitor of the job offer paper) 😂 She was so excited for me, she bought me many gin and tonics and we celebrated together for the 2 hour journey and she passed on all the wisdom she could.

She could have just ignored me, but she made a great day so wonderful. At 28 I became a deputy editor of one of the world’s largest newspapers. I remember several of her pieces of advice and implemented them my whole career.

If she’s on here… I never say ‘erm’ in an interview! It’s always Ok to take a breath :) And I’ve had some very tricky editors and your advice has helped me immeasurably.

No one to thank as such but I am so pleased when I chat to strangers and have such an enjoyable time. We all make assumptions based on looks and we can be so wrong. Two examples - an old man at a car boot sale, looked as though he had never left our rural market town .... he was an international rabbit judge! 2nd - two homeless alcoholics asked if they could pat my dog; we chatted for ages about Welsh sheepdogs who one used to breed. My family tease me.