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Original poster

First Mother’s Day without my mum

33 replies

Sourisblanche · 30/03/2025 09:10

Just remembering my own mum who I lost last year. First Mother’s Day without her.

I have lovely teens who will no doubt do some nice things for me later (when they eventually get up!). But I’m really thinking of my own mum today. I miss her a lot. I’ve just been to look at a favourite photo of us together at my wedding.

So here’s to all the mums we missFlowers

OP posts:
orangetulipsinbloom · 30/03/2025 09:21

I am very sorry for your loss. Same here. I haven't fully processed the finality of her death yet.

Icebreakhell · 30/03/2025 09:21

I’m sorry, that is so sad.

The first year is the worst.

It still stings when I see women my age and often much older than me with their mothers, knowing my mum never got to be old.

Original poster
Sourisblanche · 30/03/2025 10:18

@orangetulipsinbloom I definitely haven’t processed it. I went up to a stand of Mother’s Day cards a few weeks ago and it took me a few seconds to realise that I didn’t need to buy one.

OP posts:
Idontknowhatnametochoose · 30/03/2025 10:19

It's the second one for me.

I took a card to her grave.

Yes, so hard.

Thornrose · 30/03/2025 10:19

Same here, and her birthday this last week also. The firsts are brutal aren't they.

I need to spend time with my adult dd but really just want to hide away...

Love to all going through this.

SallyWD · 30/03/2025 10:22

I'm so sorry. Sending love to you.remember all the happy times and how much she loved you.

SmoothEncounter · 30/03/2025 10:41

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum.

I found my first Mothers Day the worst, harder than her birthday, or Christmas, or anniversary of her passing. Because it’s a day that celebrates that unique relationship and it’s shoved in your face by media/shops for days/weeks leading up to it. And we had our own special tradition for that day that I would never do again.

a few years on, I can say the pain is a little less raw and all consuming but I still miss her, have had a little cry this morning. But that’s ok. Because she loved me like no one else, she was my Mum.

sending a hug.

MockTheGeek · 30/03/2025 10:49

I’m sorry you have to miss your mum today. It’s my 16th Mother’s Day without mine. Thankfully I have kids of my own who brought me breakfast in bed this morning. But it makes me look at my kids and realise that one day I’ll have to leave them too. My oldest child only has a few more years until they’ll be the age I was when my Mum died and that’s quite the mindbender. I’m not ready to leave them yet.

thoughts to all

Original poster
Sourisblanche · 30/03/2025 11:22

@MockTheGeek so sorry you lost your mum early. I am grateful that I had mine with me for as long as I did and that she had a great relationship with my dc. She loved being a grandmother, even more than being a mum I thinkSmile

Ds made me scrambled eggs in bed, they were a bit on the cool side because it took him a while to work out the coffee machine! Grin

Then its off to the shop with dd who has decided she wants to make me a fruit salad.

Then I shall potter in the garden as my mum loved this time of year so it will be good to be outside. DaffodilThanks for all the kind comments.

OP posts:
Springhassprungthesunisout · 30/03/2025 11:27

I've lost both DPs now and it still makes me teary when I see mother or fathers day cards in the shops as I have no-one to buy for any more. I'm cooking a big lunch today and training up the DC to do a roast and make DMs favourite dessert. So we'll raise a glass to her - and all our lovely much missed mums.

Pleasecanyouadviseme · 30/03/2025 11:31

First without my Mum, but she had dementia for years and didn't know who I was for 5 years or so.
I'm also 16 weeks with my first which has really set me off - I just want my Mam 😔

Original poster
Sourisblanche · 30/03/2025 11:51

@Springhassprungthesunisout I think
you need tell us your mum’s favourite dessert. Sorry you have lost both dps. I still have my dad but he’s not the same without mum.

@Pleasecanyouadviseme sorry to hear your mum suffered with dementia. I had a year knowing my mum was terminal so I could spend lots of time with her and tell her how much I loved her and thank her for all those lifts and meals when I was a stroppy teen! That sort of thing.

OP posts:
JollyHostess101 · 30/03/2025 12:02

Sending love to all those who don’t have their lovely mums! It’s five years for me and I pretty much used to ignore it but now I’m a Mummy it’s hit kind of different this year I wish my mum had been here to meet my daughter!

x2boys · 30/03/2025 12:03

Its the first one for me too my mum died at the end of january 🥲

Ottercave · 30/03/2025 12:04

It’s my second without my mum but she too suffered with dementia before she died.

Off to visit her memorial later to sit on the bench with a cup of tea and a sticky bun and have a chat with her. Also got her a small bunch of daffodils and a potted plant. Spent the grand total of £2.75 on them. Not one to ‘waste money’ my mum. Could hear her over my shoulder when I was looking going ‘don’t you go wasting your money on them flowers’.

Going on my own as I prefer that today. DH’s off to visit his mum but I couldn’t face that which he totally understands.

shellyleppard · 30/03/2025 12:06

@Sourisblanche sending hugs, its bloody difficult. Lost my mum 3 year's ago
Sending the biggest of virtual hugs x

Igmum · 30/03/2025 12:46

It’s 10 years now for me. She was the best mum in the world ❤️🫂

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 30/03/2025 12:47

I feel you OP.
My beloved gran died two years ago today. So fitting that it’s mother’s day. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother and I was so lucky.
Love to everyone finding today tough.

Lowther · 30/03/2025 12:49

1st year without Mum
Feeling lost and empty.

5speckledfrogs12 · 30/03/2025 12:53

Mine too Flowers unfortunately no grave (yet) to take flowers to so I bought some flowers and gave them to a close friend who is around the same age as my mum. At least someone got flowers in her honour. I didn't realise it would make me feel as sad as it has.

Fightingdragonswithyou · 30/03/2025 12:55

Only lost my mum a few days ago. It's so very raw 😭

WhereDoBrokenHeartsGo · 30/03/2025 13:00

Same here. Feel like I’m in a daze while trying to be present for my own kids. She loved this time of year and it’s hard to believe I’m visiting her grave instead of having her here.

@Fightingdragonswithyou wishing you strength and comfort to get through those first days

Ilikewinter · 30/03/2025 13:03

It's the 2nd for me, last year I nearly burst into tears when caught out by the mothers day aisle in Tesco, this year I just avoid it if I can ..... and I ignore all the threads on here that I know will be a moan about a MIL or mum taking over the day, or today's threads about disappointed mums - my mum never asked or expected anything for mothers day, but of course I always got her something 🥰

cafenoirbiscuit · 30/03/2025 13:06

Second one without my mum.
im not ready to scatter her ashes yet so I took them into the garden with me and had a cup of tea., and talked to her. Miss her so much.
love to you all x

speakingofart · 30/03/2025 13:12

Mine too. Luckily I’m going for Sunday dinner with chosen family later ( I don’t have children) but this has knocked me sideways in a way I wasn’t expecting.