You know in adolescence, when Jamie says [Spoiler removed by MNHQ - thread also contains spoilers]

[Mycatisanevilgenius]

You know in adolescence, when Jamie’s says he’s pleading guilty, why doesn’t the dad respond?

The dad says nothing

then after a long awkward silence the mum chimes in the convo and changes the subject

are we suppose to think that’s how any real difficult discussions are just not had ?

then the mum brushes it all under the rug ?

They're in shock. I think it seemed quite realistic in how they showed their reaction. Trying desperately to maintain some form of normality while knowing things won't ever be the same. The parents knew he was guilty from early on, so his plea itself wasn't a surprise to them.

Thread title a bit of a spoiler perhaps OP?

The dad is avoidant. That's his parenting style. When Jamie was crap at football he turned away. When he saw the video he turned away. When Jamie reaches out about his decision he turns away.

I've reported it to ask MNHQ to change the title.

It's been out and all over social media for weeks.

I haven't watched it yet or spoilered myself online!

My understanding is that it's because the dad hadn't told the mum that he had seen the CCTV footage of Jamie stabbing the victim.

It's absolutely this 👆 Dad can't cope with anything he doesn't like, so he detaches.

Because they want to make the ‘Dad’ into the villain. Because two parent families have to be made to seem more ‘problematic’ than single parent families, especially if they are middle class and ….. you can fill in the gap.

Yes, and people who haven't seen it yet but can choose not to open posts that are clearly about it to avoid spoilers, however when it is in the title, you can't avoid it if it contains a plot point

I've watched this and don't remember the crap at football bit. When was that?

Was there really a need to put the spoiler in the title? I've watched two episodes so far and you've now put a spoiler in that I couldn't avoid seeing. You could have titled your post in a way that wouldn't have included the spoiler.

@saveforthatJamie talks about how his dad hated him being crap at football and how it bothered him. His dad talks about not standing up to the other parents on the touchlines who laughed/were angry at Jamie for being crap at football - so he turned away.
just another example of how some men don’t face up to things or talk to each other. Jamie’s dad never explained that he didn’t care if Jamie was any good at football

Yes ffs don't put a massive spoiler in the TITLE op!!!!

I thought it was an accurate portrayal of how much damage can be inadvertently done by avoidant parenting .

The being crap at football thing was a really key theme, related to Jamie's self esteem and his Dad's reaction accidentally only validating further Jamie's shame. There were other references to his self esteem.

I reported and MNHQ have amended the title. Thank you @mnhq

I think the Dad was in denial. He knew that his son was guilty after watching the video, because he said to him "what have you done". I don't think he wanted to believe that his son was capable of killing a girl and all the while he was pleading not guilty there was a chance that when it came to court the jury could find him not guilty. I too don't think he had told his wife about the video, and I think they were shocked that by him pleading guilty there was absolutely no doubt that their son had committed murder and would be locked up for a long time.

The family wasn't middle class?

Jamie tells the psychologist that his dad wanted him to play football but he was crap so they put him in goal, and when he messed up he would see his dad looking away. The dad also mentions this in the episode where he's having the heart to heart with his wife, and said he tried to make Jamie more manly by making him do football and boxing but he was crap at it. He admits he couldn't look at him. It was very telling about his internalised toxic masculinity and how it impacted on his sensitive, artistic son. The interesting part I thought was how hard the dad was trying not to be like his own dad. He knew what he didn't want to do with his kids but he was slowly realising that he fucked up anyway, as all parents do to some extent.

Yes it was about the Dad rejecting the son when he failed. Like the Dad only valued his child when he was reflecting well on him.

In some ways it was about non-conditional parental love - even when a child commits murder the parent goes on loving them.

I would ban all internet at home if I had kids except on one downstairs computer. Phones would be calls/text only for safety.

I think it was because he was visualising that video again and he just couldn't respond.
His mum responded because she knew her husband couldn't and she couldn't bear the silence.

That is easier said than done
Like it or not we live in an age of the internet
and children should be taught how to use it safely , and to question what they see and hear. Banning it at home won't solve the problem any more than not telling teenagers about sex and birth control stopped teenage pregnancies in the past.
Openness , being present for your children, allowing your children to be themselves and the ability to discuss anything will help.

I don't think it was this at all! I think they were trying to portray a very average family with very typical or traditional gender roles and behavior. I think the point was this could happen to any 'average' family.

I agree. I know the aunt of a "very average middle class family" that this happened to. Their son killed someone at the age of 15. He set out to do it. It was very definitely not an accident or a spur of the moment thing. As a family they were comfortable enough but not wealthy. Nice house in a nice area, with nice friends. No abuse in the household, no bullying at school. The did all the sorts of things, had all the sorts of experiences that a normal family have. There was literally no reason for him to do what he did, and they still don't know why he did it. At trial all the reports and assessments could provide no answer. He just did it.

It shattered their lives, and after months of going through the "why" and the "what if" and the "what did we do", they eventually shut down. They stopped talking about it, stopped trying to rationalise it, but not in a healthy way - in an avoiding way. Because if you can't find an answer but the question keeps playing, you eventually go insane.

In the end nobody is a perfect parent, but equally, parenting doesn't make you what you become. Plenty of poor or abused children turn into well-adjusted adults, and plenty of children with perfectly normal upbringing turn into violent offenders. If there was an easy answer, then as a society we would have fixed it all and wouldn't be having these debates.