Do you think that anyone can learn to drive?

[pinkbonbons]

This is not meant to be goady!

I had driving lessons when I was 22 but stopped as I was crying in every lesson despite doing fine. I have quite bad anxiety about reversing; I would always panic and I couldn’t concentrate properly on doing it. I did have 50-60 hours of lessons but my anxiety didn’t get better so my instructor suggested a break because of my anxiety and I didn’t go back. That was nearly 6 years ago and I still can’t drive. Medical reasons permitting, do you think that any adult can be a competent driver? Even when I’m in the car with my DH, I think to myself ‘oh I’d crash if I did that turn he just did’ and I do find the general Road rules confusing, with how people know who gets right of way etc. But I also want to be able to do it. But I’m so scared.

I have never been able to. I expect if I did something unrealistic like have three hour lessons every single day for two years, I might be able to pass a test, but even being a passenger makes me anxious so I can't imagine being able to get in a car and drive it as an everyday part of life.

As with any skill, there will be people who don't quite get it. Like swimming or riding a bike or drawing or playing the piano.

There’s a whole side of my family who technically can drive but who are all terrible and shouldn’t. Must be genetic!

I meant for this to be in chat, not feminism!

@MrsTerryPratchettmy mother is one of them; took her 10 times to pass and she is awful.

I'm interested in why you posted this in FWR. Are you equating inability to drive with womanhood?

Edited as crossed post

No, I commented that it was an accident!

We cross posted. I've edited my post

No. Driving is complex. Having said that, given enough practice I should think most people of normal intelligence could learn. I have switched over to an automatic (EV) and it's a lot easier.

No definitely not. Like any other skill, some people will be complete naturals, some will be able to learn to a decent level with hard work, and some simply do not have the ability at all.

It’s less about intelligence and more about

coordination
concentration
ability to keep a level head
spacial awareness
multitasking
sense of direction
risk assessment
and common sense!

Like @MrsTerryPratchett my family members have none of these skills and are constantly having close shaves on the road. Passed their tests on a fluke, after double figures attempts sometimes.

I don’t have most of these skills either but fortunately I don’t need to drive, so I haven’t tried!

What has driving got to do with intelligence? I have a PhD and I can’t drive. I’m fairly sure it wouldn’t be safe for me to do it. I really tried and had lots of lessons but didn’t get better. I am dyspraxic and have ADHD. DH doesn’t drive and neither do our two adult children. Or my mother. It’s actually not a big deal at all and it’s never handicapped us as a family. We travel a lot, go out a lot etc. We live in London but often friends or holiday in rural areas. No problem.We know lots of other people who either don’t drive or have given up their cars.

If you have to, you just get on with it

My mum had lessons at 17, then again at 28, then again at 50. She took two tests and failed both. At which point, she stopped wasting her time and money. She is an award-winning designer, fabulous cook, gardener, seamstress... as she said, not everyone can do everything.

Of course not everyone has the capability to drive. Just like any other skill,based activity.

I somehow managed to get a driving licence in some kind of fluke and didn't drive for a decade after I passed my test. I had to start again for work 6 years ago and literally only drive my route to work (and a two minor detours to get to two other places). I am absolutely fine on my routes but cannot deviate from them. If there ever was a traffic deviation I would probably find somewhere to park the car and just walk away! I have very bad spatial awareness and can't judge time/speed/space very well. Over time I've stopped being horrible to myself about it and not telling myself what a useless person I am for not being able to drive (properly). I tell myself that it's a miracle I can get myself to work!

No. My DGM had lessons when she was widowed at 65. She couldn't do it.

No I don’t think so. But I passed at 21, then moved to London and hardly drove due to nerves and anxiety and relied on DH. But we recently switched to automatic and I actually enjoy driving (albeit still short distances) because I can concentrate on the road more so feel safer.

Awe OP ☺️….
Yes , I do believe you can learn how to drive ..
Firstly , you should see a therapist on how to manage anxiety, they can teach steps ..
Secondly, i hate being a passenger, I’m so nervous, when I’m driving myself then I’m fine , as it’s me in control ..
All that said , I never drive on motorways as I’m really afraid ..
My new year’s resolution was to learn how to drive on motorway , still haven’t attempted it , I just feel , to learn how to be able to do it , I have to practice on it & it’s a hell of a dangerous place to practice on if you don’t know what you’re doing !
I live in Ireland & I take all the back roads every where , but look it , I get to where i have/ want to go & get my lads where they want to be ,
so 🤷🏻‍♀️..
Best of luck with it OP X

I was like this and passed a few years ago in my 30s. Learnt first time at 18 and a few more attempts along the way. I don’t know why, I have always found things quite easy but driving is something I really struggled with and caused me a lot of anxiety. I asked a friend who is a driving instructor if some people just couldn’t drive and she said in 30+ years of teaching she had only come across one person who really wasn’t able.

Judging by the standards of driving nowadays it would appear so.

Yes, but it can take crazy amounts of practice.
my dd has ASD and is directionally challenged. She constantly confuses left and right. She also has bad anxiety.

we got her in therapy, driving lessons, and took her driving ourselves so many times. She has her license now, but we are still scaffolding her to keep her anxiety in check. The first time she drives to a new place, one of us travels with her. The drive to her new job that starts in a few months is going to be a tough one, even I hate it as an experienced driver, so we are practicing it with her once a week.

also, just get an automatic. You don’t have to drive a manual.

Have you considered an intensive course, usually one week. Some offer a promise to get you through test.

Not everyone but most people should be able to. Some might need a better driving teacher to help put them at ease and tell them where they're going wrong.

There are definitely plenty of people it just never clicks with.

I think I do judge people who never even try to learn and mooch lifts from partners and friends etc, but if someone has tried and is fundamentally not a safe driver then I’d much rather they were off the road.

I think starting as an adult is massively harder too.