Anyone else with a kid in Y9+ who really can't tell how they'll do in GCSEs?

[Echobelly]

Be interested in other people's experience of this. DS is August born, in Y9 and has inattentive ADHD. By this stage with our oldest we were very confident they'd do well at GCSE, although their first year-to-go exams in Y10 were a little wobbly while they got used to how to revise and sit exams. But we knew they would learn from it and were probably going to be more or less the 'same kid' when they sat the exams.. They went on to get similar results to DH and I, eg at the high end, and are studying A-levels now.

DS is still on the less mature end of his cohort and basically we know he is 2-3 years behind his peers developmentally as is common with ADHD and will be sitting his exams at something of a disadvantage and it's as well he's as bright as he is despite his difficulties that he can compensate for that lag to some extent.

So we have just under 2.5 years to go and it could go in all sorts of directions. He might not develop much more maturity and have a lot of difficulty revising for and sitting exams, he might suddenly have a developmental spurt (as he does now and then) and be much more ready and able to cope and be able to do well, he might get massively hormal and turn into a sullen uncooperative so-and-so and decide he can't be bothered (at the moment he seems sweetly optimistic it'll be OK).

To be clear, I'm not demanding he gets top-notch results, it's just tricky because DH and I only have experience from our own families of 'Strong GCSEs, no problems getting to A-level, goes to university' and while I'm aware of other options and happy to investigate them (and we will) DH is finding this very hard to cope with and to dispell the idea that you will be significantly disadvantaged in choices going forward you don't get good GCSEs, which I don't think is the case.

Education isn't about the 'best path'. It's about the right path for each individual.

If your son has ADHD is his long term happiness going to be best served with an academic pathway leading to a desk job?

Ask yourself honestly.

He will find his way - he will have strengths in other areas. Focus on what he's good at and likes rather than laminating what he can't.

This will make him more confident and more likely to achieve in time.

Your expectations here are his biggest barrier, not his own abilities.

Do you talk to your son about what he wants to explore doing in the future? It doesn't need to be a lay down the law kind of chat, just casual conversations to scope out where he wants to go. That might help him work out an intrinsic motivation for his GCSEs. All that is really important is that he gets his passes in english and maths.

Your DH should be less worried, because going to university isn't really a guarantee of much these days. My half brother (much younger than I) sailed through GCSEs, did well at A Level, went to university, got a third and ended up managing sailing centres. Sometimes the route just doing well and staying on the path isn't for everyone and it shouldn't be encouraged. It can just encourage naive 18 year olds to rack up debt they don't need for a degree that might not even help them get the job they find they actually want.

I totally agree - of course it's about the best path for him, which might not be academic. That is what I'm looking into and have some awareness of as I used to work in educational publishing and have for the last few years worked in industries where a lot of people come into good careers through non academic routes. But DH is finding it a challenge to accept that - he knows he's being unreasonable on one level, but still finds in anxiety-inducing.

It's ok for your DH to be anxious. He can't help what he feels, but it's important he doesn't allow that to make his DS stress or feel unworthy/broken over it. Perhaps he should channel that anxiety into ensuring your DS gets all the support he needs to thrive for his GCSE years (as getting the legal support you're entitled to can be a tug of war in and of itself). Or like, a journal or something.

Ex teacher.

yes, this is very much the case.

this sort of thing is one of the reasons why the whole flight paths concept is very tricky.

yes, if your kid did well in the sats they are likely to do welll in GCSEs. But all kinds of things can blow teens off course academically and by contrast some kids who do badly in sats really work hard in secondary and do incredibly well.

it’s very nerve wracking if you are the parent of a child like this because you watch them walk into the exam and depending on what mood they are in and the state of the moon etc they could walk out with anything between a 2 and a 9.

We do talk about where he's going. He's interested at the moment in working with animals, maybe as a vet. He is seems to be shaping up to be quite good at science and maths, and one thing I might predict is that those will be his best subjects.

He did initially put down triple science as one of his GCSE options, but the school advised against as it moves quite fast, which he can have difficulty with, which could result in him having to take foundation level and have marks capped and they felt he was likely to do better with the standard double award.

For DH's anxiety, we have definitely been talking about that. We have been having some really good parenting sessions with a psychiatrist to discuss how we manage DS's learning - DH almost certainly has ADHD himself, although it didn't affect his learning ability as it does for DH. It had come to a head in DS' first term this year when basically he just froze in all his tests and couldn't do most of them, despite support arrangements.

Interestingly, psychiatrist's main suggestion is for DH to stop trying to teach him and just trust the teachers! DH did manage that over Christmas when DS had to revise for tests in January and actually DS did really well for the most part in revising and in most of his tests. But his performance is, not surprisingly, still very inconsistent and DH is finding that hard to understand that one day he can be on a roll with learning and the next he can totally forget something he was told repeatedly half an hour ago.

The fact is teachers are very positive about him - he is engaged and well behaved, he's definitely not messing about, nor is he a very low performer. I think DH worries they're just being overly nice about him or something, but I doubt it.

I think taking the pressure off (DH teaching him) is the best idea. I remember a family member trying to help with maths when I was about 13 and it confused me to the point I couldn't remember how the teacher had explained it and made it seem really hard but also important (why else would this person insist on "helping"). I think we are all guilty of looking back and thinking "I did well so it was easy" but forgetting the reality of hormones and competition in school. Just celebrate the wins and remind him practice makes perfect. Most schools now do multiple skills tests along the term and they will know what he is capable of. Worst case scenario he gets a lower grade for a couple than he should have - he can re-take them if it really becomes necessary. Access courses for Uni are often markers for people who get 1sts!

I have a year 9 autistic child in specialist provision. No idea what the next couple of years hold yet but transition evening re choosing options is next month. Child loves English and wants to be an author. I don't necessarily think a GCSE is essential for this and suspect they may only do functional skills English and Maths and possibly an Arts award. Maybe a science subject, maybe history but their interests don't necessarily mean they'll be able to study and sit exams, but I am also open to being totally surprised! It's a bit of an unknown to be honest.
I'm happy that if they choose subjects they enjoy then they'll do as well as they possibly can. DH and I are both university educated but I actually only think uni will suit one of the kids. The others are (currently) far more likely to choose vocational/apprenticeship type career paths and I am 100% behind them doing what works best for them.

Yes same here, DS has SpLDs and probably ADHD (not diagnosed as the school wouldn't co-operate fully). Very bright but GCSEs unlikely to reflect that and as all subjects are by exam now there isn't much that we can do. Maths he will do very well, science OK, everything else including English - who knows? It's not like we can get any personalised feedback out of his teachers, half of them have changed mid-year anyway.

I have had to deliberately let go and relax a lot, he did used to self harm and still has some issues with emotional regulation - the priority is to get him through school as happy as possible with a 4 in English GCSE, anything else is a bonus really. He is super bright and will find his own way eventually, unfortunately the school system just isn't designed for him so everything is a struggle.

I'd rather he be happy and do his best than be stressed and miserable and get better marks.

My thinking is it may be best to get in a tutor for a couple of things he needs support with (and get DH to back off). I'm thinking French as he just needs extra practice, but not with DH who gets too frustrated, and English because he's having a lot of difficulty with it and frankly, the English Language GCSE is a bloody ridiculous way to assess English skills to me (I'm a philosophy/literature graduate) and I can't help him with the weirdly specific stuff they require. And it could reduce his post GCSE choices if he can't get at least a 4, ideally a 5 in it unfortunately. Though I know there are retake options in 6th form college.

I wish he could wait another year to take them when he might be more ready - as is he won't even be 16 when he finishes them.

My kid is summer born too. Honestly though, I fully expect him to stay in his school to 18 and maybe take GCSEs at that age before he leaves, and just get his qualifications over a longer time period. GCSEs at 16, A levels at 18, then uni isn't the only path, and isn't the right path for everyone. I think we serve them best by being supportive and relaxed about it all, what will be will be. Possibly easier said than done, and you'll need to get DH on board with that thinking!
By the way my kid learns so much from audiobooks and never reads a book. I definitely need to explore GCSE audiobook study notes type material, and could be great for French speaking/listening. He loves English literature but doesn't really write, so again there's some amazing YouTube type videos where people discuss characterization and relationships and analyse plays and books. I just don't know how to source good material that suits his learning style when I studied using textbooks and scribbling notes and the kid writes nothing down!

I have a Y9 dd. Probable ADHD and just awaiting formal screening / diagnosis. TBH I have no idea how she will do. Her results are mixed - maths particularly she finds hard and is really disengaged / low scores.

Childcare though she loves and gets 90%+
Generally I would say her performance is not what it could be if the ADHD is a factor however actually I’m not too worried.

She wants to work in childcare and that suits her nature and personality. She is very caring. I cannot see her going to uni and doing an ‘office’ job.

my main concern is getting her through maths gcse which is critical for anything.

My son is Y10, inattentive ADHD, summer born, sounds similar to yours. Everyone in our family did Alevels and went to university and I just can’t see that working for him. He has been having tuition in maths and English for a year which has made a huge difference - moved up 2 sets in maths and now headed for a 6/7 and hopefully a solid 5 in English. He will do well in sciences, his option choices could go in any direction. We are doing a LOT of scaffolding to make sure homework is done, help with revision etc. He is taking one GCSE a year early as a practice (whole school do this) but even concentrating in one is hard work. We’re looking at local colleges for BTECs etc as I can’t see Alevels working, but vocational routes also difficult as he doesn’t know what he wants to do longer term.I totally sympathise with feeling a bit at sea when they are clearly not going to thrive in the route you expected them to take.

Have they been screened yet for exam accommodations - extra time, reader, scribe etc. Could make a big difference.

Yes, we're talking about it with the school though scribing doesn't work well for everyone and needs some practise. He seems like he might be making some strides forward with being able to write longer form in history now (which he likes and teacher says is really good spoken contributor too, but has had difficulty doing extended writing in) so we'll see