How confident are you in the advice that you don't need contraception after 55?

[Gelatibon]

GP (and written NHS advice) says it's not required, even if you're still having some periods, after 55th birthday...

I know pregnancy is unlikely and a successful one even less so, but....

At 50 I wouldn’t risk it. You do hear stories. But at 55? Nah. Fine. Crack on.

😂

On one of the many/regular 'am I too old to have a baby at 44/46/48' threads that was on here the other week, one poster claimed that their granny was still having babies in her 50s. Plural..... BABIES! I was like 'nah mate, that was your auntie or mum's child, that she had in her teens, and granny raised them.' Very common pre 1980s.

Only on Mumsnet do I see loads of women claiming they had their first baby at 42-43+. In real life, the amount is vanishingly small. I have known of just 3 women who had a baby in their mid 40s. IN MY LIFE. 1 whose mother had them at 46, and she has a physical ailment. Then I knew another woman who had a baby at 45, and the baby was born with hearing impairment, and the last one was a woman who had a baby at 43. A natural conception AFAIK. No health issues, (AFAIK) but the child is only 2. So it's too early to know.

I know people from many walks of life, in many different professions, from working class, middle class, to upper class, and every single woman - who has children - had her first by her early-mid 30s, and their last by 38-39. (Apart from the 3 that I have mentioned.) But the first 2 are women I knew pre 2010. (And they were born in the 1970s and 1980s.)

I was in a store today, (at the checkout,) and a GP from my practice was walking around very pregnant. She was talking to the checkout operator who said 'not long to go hey?' The GP said 'noooo, not long. My life is about to be changed. 39 years as a child free person, and this time next week, I will be in charge of a new life! And everyone who heard/was listening, was like 'oooh, that is a bit older than normal for a first isn't it?' She said 'absolutely. Most women I deal with - having their first baby - are around late 20s/early 30s. This is my first and last though!'

So yeah, the general consensus was that having your first at nearly 40 is not 'the norm.' And having your first in your mid 40s definitely is not.

No matter how (some) mumsnetters try to make out that it's perfectly normal to have your first baby in your mid 40s (or a second or third or fourth!) it's NOT. Sure it does happen, as not everyone on here is lying about it, (and yes, a few women do have babies over 40!) But as I said, honestly - apart from the 3 women I mentioned, no woman I know has had a baby in her mid 40s.

And I know women with children who are... vicars, GPs, lawyers, dentists, psychologists, police, hospital consultants, mechanics, shop staff, waitresses, opticians, bank clerks, farmers, factory workers, fire fighters, people from all walks of life from different classes. And virtually every single woman had their first by their early-mid 30s, and the last one by 38-39. At least half of them had their first (and last!) in their 20s.

In answer to the OP's question, no, I would never worry about pregnancy in my mid 50s. Not gonna get pregnant then! 😆

Exactly, you’ve got to laugh. Still using contraception at 55 incase you get pregnant 🤣

As you say, it would be highly unlikely to get pregnant naturally at 45, never mind 10 years later 😳😳 Odds must be a million to one! 🤣

I wouldn’t risk it. But l won’t have sex without a condom anyway.

This.

Seems illogical to look at only the odds of carrying to term unless you're unconcerned about getting pregnant and miscarrying. I'd like to avoid both. It's more dangerous to be pregnant than not, and miscarriage is potentially very unpleasant, painful and occasionally comes with dangerous complications.

@Sourwitch I know women who got pregnant in their 40s. It's only rare because most women don't want to!

Researching my family tree recently and almost all the women were having their last child at 45-48. This was in the 1800s and early 1900s.

This was before contraception and their last child was often their 10th!

Some of those women had a child at 20/22 and carried on having another every two years till well into their 40s.

I think part of the issue nowadays is the amount of women who use artificial means to have their babies later - mine are IVF kids and I spent a lot of time reading fertility forums and a huge number of women of all ages had no intention of telling people how their kids were conceived (as is their right of course!) but it does give the wider population the impression that older conceptions are very normal when in fact the opposite is true.

Also we see the results of the few who do have kids in their 40s - we’re not aware of the many thousands who tried and failed because they were too old.

It frightens me how complacent so many women are about their fertility sadly.

It's not naive. It's just egg quality deteriorates. It's something that just isn't spoken about. Something like 30% of women who start trying at 37 will never have a live birth. That doesn't mean to say they won't also have very distressing miscarriages.

Most of us get our fertility information from school. Schools don't educate on the other end of women's fertility they just drum into young girls that baby's can happen the second you drop your pants. So you can see why people get upset when they've used precautions for years then decide to ttc and it just doesn't happen.

Following weight loss surgery, I’m having very prolonged heavy periods, aged 55. I had nothing for years on the progesterone only pill, which I still take, despite it no longer being properly absorbed (according to the surgeon). I didn’t use any contraception for years and never got pregnant, so I’m not too concerned. I’d love to have figures about how many women have had babies at my age. What a mindfuck!

If I was still having periods I’d still use birth control. My last was around age 55. Oldest person I know who got pregnant naturally and had a healthy baby was 46, and of course Cherie Blair had one at 48. Apparently the oldest verified natural pregnancy and successful birth was a woman of 59 in 1997.

I know LOADS of women who had babies in their 40s, so don't think it's that unusual
In terms of 50s...it's probably very rare, but that's also because a lot of women go through menopause at 50 or earlier. I suppose the point of this forum is that if I am still having regular periods in my 50s and seeing signs of ovulation, could I still get pregnant, and the answer must be...yes, you could.

Yeah mid 40’s isn’t impossible I agree, but 55 is another level!

Please show some actual evidence that women cannot get pregnant naturally at 55.

It's not just a live birth women worry about its the thought of a miscarriage at any point along the way.

My Mum was still having regular cycles at nearly 60.

Yes absolutely this. People saying in their grandmothers best friend had a baby at 55, well chances are it wasn’t their baby but they’ve brought it up as such. Far more likely back then due to stigma of unmarried mothers etc….

As you say, many women mid - late 40’s would need to use donor eggs and IVF but wont necessarily tell anyone which is absolutely fair enough it’s no ones business, but folk obviously think it’s quite the norm and it absolutely isn’t.

It's a good post and you proved her point

This, exactly. My grandfather's mother supposedly had a change of life baby in her early fifties.
Coincidentally her 20 year old unmarried daughter disappeared to the nuns with an unspecified "illness" for 6 months prior to this birth, and soon after went to be a nurse in England, never returning.

🤷‍♀️

Give over!! 🤣

Here’s something I’ve wondered about and perhaps someone with fertility expertise will share some information.

As humans live longer and are able to remain healthy for longer, is there any chance that we’ll eventually become fertile for longer? I know that women were born with a finite number of eggs, but is it possible that at some point, there’ll be a way to keep those eggs healthy and viable for longer?

Anyone know anything about this?

It's always possible that there will be ways found to do such a thing.
But nobody has done, or is doing.

@Regretsmorethanafew I wonder, perhaps someone somewhere is looking into it.

I mean, I don’t personally want to have a baby now at 50(!) but if the average human lifespan increases until it’s common to live until 100, for example, 50 wouldn’t be particularly old, iyswim.

Well I was having regular cycles at 56-57

Indeed.

These are fairly easy to spot though on the records!

The other thing I find fascinating is women who were popping out babies every year or every other year get to their late 30s / early 40s and the gaps between children getting unmistakably bigger. There's often a 4 or 5 year gap with a surprise last baby. But not after 50. Anything after 45 is genuinely unusual.

Confident. The advice must be based on statistics

I’m 57, my periods stopped 7 years ago.

When I asked for the coil to be removed 2 years ago the doctor insisted I did a fertility test. I was apparently still fertile!

@BruFord

Recent studies are actually predicting a fertility decline due to environmental factors, such as microplastics and pollutants. This is in both men and women. Male sperm quality has been declining for the past 20 years, even in men aged 20-40. I’m not sure about egg quality, but apparently more younger women are needing fertility assistance than they did 20 years ago.