Posting for traffic.
My lovely DD (12) has lost a lot of weight over the last 6 months and is now underweight as per the NHS BMI calculator for children. Family, friends etc have all been commenting on it to us, and it’s become very obvious how thin she is.
She is very active, exercises most days incl running before school, and has started eating much smaller portions at home. She has been making comments like ‘can we just have salad tonight, I’ve eaten too much today’ and ‘this portion is way too big mum, I couldn’t possibly eat all that. When asked, she would always say that she is fine, just feels full quickly and is not trying to lose weight at all.
She buys her own lunch at school, and when I ask her about it she will say that she has proper meals as well as cookies/chocolate - but obviously I don’t actually know what she eats there.
Over the last 6-8 weeks we have been trying hard to encourage her to eat more, by cooking her favourites and letting her have any treats she wants. But when I weighed her this morning, her weight had gone down again. I was surprised and a bit shocked, and said that we might need to speak to a health professional about this.
She then got very upset, admitting that she had been feeling low, judged and insecure since starting secondary school last September, and admitted that she was trying to lose weight on purpose. She begged me not to tell anyone or take her to speak to anyone, and that she will stop doing this and start eating properly. I told her that I was glad that she told me, that she is so loved, and that we as her parents will work with her on it.
I am so shocked, mainly because she is so young and also because she’s always been a really happy no-nonsense girl. There have been arguments and drama at school, but she does have several close friends.
I feel totally blindsided. Where do we go from here? Can we turn this around on our own or do I need to seek professional help (which she doesn’t want)? I have a feeling that she won’t be able to effectively change her behaviour / relationship with food and body image simply based on this one conversation today.
thank you for reading, any advice is really appreciated.