18th birthday present for son who doesn’t want anything

[Gudspede]

Not into sport
Doesn’t want driving lessons
Doesn’t want gadgets (iwatch/buds etc)
Already had a new laptop
Not really into clothes but concedes that a few new jeans / sweatshirts would be good
Not into jewellery or skincare (ie face masks and serums - he does wash, before anyone says euww)
Doesn’t use Amazon- I buy his vouchers off him whenever he is given them by relatives.

He will be cross if I spend money on him for the sake of it, but, and I know it’s his choice, he won’t have anything to unwrap on his birthday unless you lovely lot can think of anything creative.

Help, please, Mumsnet.

Her birthday is coming up so I could buy them both Premium Bonds.

He wants to study and live in London so he would prefer to use public transport and only learn to drive when he actually will need to drive a car.

And thanks for your “joke” about depression.

I have been known to give a good woollen blanket as a gift. A proper one that will last a lifetime.

Can I ask where you bought the gold from? It's a great idea.

Would he use a leather wallet? You could have it initialled then fill with cash or giftcards?
My 3 DS’s had a designer watch each for 18th IIRC and they do all wear them
You can’t go wrong with Premium bonds.

He's 18 not 88!

@Gudspede please explain why, after saying he doesn't want anything, are you so determined to get him something? Presumably to assuage any guilt.
Just give him a little IOU note, promising him the next thing he actually wants, when HE wants it, such as a holiday, or new clothes.
He knows you love him, it doesn't have to be proved via 'stuff' on 'conventional' gift giving days.

I went into a dealer in Hatton Garden (purchased online and picked up as I work nearby) but if you search "Buy gold bars/coins UK" you'll find a bunch of places that will deliver. The bars come in cool list plastic packs too.

I used Hatton Garden Metals, they do free delivery. If you have a jeweler who buys gold locally they almost certainly sell it too.

Just make sure you check the spot price online before buying (especially if buying in person) as it changes constantly. You will pay slightly more than spot price, as that's how the dealers make money.

I got some for myself a year or so ago when it was worth about £1,700 an ounce. Was tempted to sell when it hit 1900, but it's currently at nearly £2,400 an ounce!

I quite enjoy keeping track of the value, makes me feel like a prospector 😅 Good way to teach kids about markets, investments etc too!

I've been saying that I "don't want anything" for the best part of 20 years. For the most part it's completely genuine - I'm lucky to have everything I need and if there's something I want, I'll just buy it for myself.

My partner finally snapped me out of that mindset. Their family are very gifty, mine aren't. But they brought me around to the fact that gifts aren't necessarily just about the receiving, they're about the act giving too. Doing something nice for someone. I used to kick up a real fuss about not wanting birthday/Christmas gifts, but now I go in for it because I know that it means something to other people.

(I do request charity vouchers every other year, so they're giving me a gift without technically giving me a gift, haha!)

Also - OP is talking about a teenager here. They're difficult by default 🤣

But gifts can be given randomly, not just at 'prescribed' days. People almost bankrupt themselves at christmas, for example.spontanous gifts, or the 'saw this and knew you'd love it' are the best gifts to give and recieve, even if it's just a bag of crisps.
I don't think one should have to compromiise one's principles just because it makes others feel good about themselves.

Gave my 18yo son an Ancestry DNA kit - the one with personality traits . So interesting and provided lots of family hilarity when the results came through too - good special offers on that site usually too X

Oh I agree and I do more spontaneous stuff than 'set days' stuff!

I think if someone made it clear that a gift would offend or upset them for some reason, that's a different matter. But OPs non-committal teenager likely isn't that.

Besides, "I just don't want prezzies" is hardly a serious principle in and of itself is it?

My DS is the same. He never really wants or asks for anything

I can’t even remember what he got for his 18th.

For his 19th last year I got him a Steel Series gaming headset directly from their site which he can use on his Switch (ah that’s what he got for his 18th) and PS5 and laptop.

Oh yes for Christmas I went shopping with him to pick out a leather wallet. One which folds in half and fits nicely in his back pocket with card slots, space for notes and coins. You’d have thought it’d be easy to find one. It wasn’t. But we found the perfect one in T K Maxx which should last a lifetime till it falls apart. I was a fun shop because we don’t often shop together because he hates it. DD on the other hand.

Premium Bonds are always a good idea because of course you can access the money whenever you want but what’s left in the pot could win you some extra cash

You can also buy from the Royal Mint.

😃These present have all landed well with the many 18 year olds i know! Its meant to be a lifetime type of pressie. https://www.aspinaloflondon.com/mens-collection/leather-hip-flasks/classic-5oz-leather-hip-flasks also the wallets are great - the blind embossing is pretty classy.

Those are lovely Aspinal wallets. My DS has one like like their bifold, coin, ID wallet in a lovely soft dark brown leather .

Some sort of saving or investments. Maybe premium bonds

Because all his grandparents are dead, he only has one uncle and he doesn’t have any cousins.

So yes, part of it is guilt that he doesn’t have a lovely family / extended family to help him celebrate.

Thank you. Sounds a great idea.

Just ignore anyone who starts their post “please explain why…”, @Gudspede. The cheek! Sounds like you’ve got some great things planned.

Why is it cheeky? Its a totally reasonable question to ask why someone is told "I don't want anything" and their response is to ignore that and insist their own need to buy things trumps the recipient's wishes.

Take him on a city trip. My DS loved Berlin at that age.