I’m not a cryer - heart of stone?

[Rosietru]

I’m beginning to feel like I’m a bit odd. My dad is critically ill, I’m not sleeping and very on edge, have the odd little cry usually alone but I think focussing more on practicalities and looking after my mum.

My mum and older sisters are crying a lot, am I weird for not doing? I feel like I must have a heart of stone. I am known for my empathy and being considerate etc so I don’t think it’s that I don’t feel emotion.

Just musing really, I know it’s impossible to say without knowing me. I’m interested in the psychology of it.

My Dad died a week ago and I've not cried at all, busy doing admin. Occasionally at 3am I'll catch sight of the enormity of it but still no tears. I feel people probably do judge me for it, I care deeply, it just doesn't show xx

You definitely don't have a heart of stone either!

I didn't cry when my dad died and I didn't when my mum found out that she was terminally ill and I didn't cry after she died. I felt tormented inside after they had both died but still couldn't cry!

Then, one day, at the most inappropriate time (lots of other people present, a school event) I started to sob. I sobbed so much it was embarrassing. It was like someone had turned on the tap!

I don't cry, I haven't since my mum died 18 years ago, I cried enough for a hundred years back then.
Not one tear shed since then.
I have had some really sad and awful things happen since, including my dad dying and 2 best friends.
I am not hard hearted, my heart breaks and I get very disturbed, but no tears will come.
I have had 2 major breakdowns in that time and I really believe it's where I cannot physically let my sad emotions out.

I didn’t cry when either of my parents died. The only funeral I have cried at was my BiL. Just because you don’t cry doesn’t mean you don’t care. Maybe you are too busy coping with the situation.

I think everyone’s just different. I used to cry fairly easily as a child/teen but the older I’ve got, the less it seems to happen. My sister was crying all the time when my mum was dying, whereas I didn’t very much.

Everyone responds differently and processes emotions in their own time. This is not unusual so don’t worry OP.
I didn’t cry when my mum died until her funeral nearly 3 weeks later, it didn’t feel real until then.
It will hit you at some point so be prepared for the emotions to surface even weeks or months later, that’s normal.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with a situation. Some break down in tears every moment and others focus on the practicalities and the tasks necessary at that time to get through it. It’s not unusual to be in either camp. It will hit you at some point , but that will be individual to you so don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal.

Thank you all for making me feel more normal. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and so sorry to those who have lost their parent. I suppose there is no normal is there?

Thank you.