Some people are never happy...

[Gelatibon]

It's me, I'm never happy.

When I was married, all the organising was down to me. I'm good at organising and I didn't always mind doing it but did sometimes complain that I carried all the load. Basically we would have never gone anywhere, from a walk in the park to a meal out, a concert or a holiday unless I suggested it and made it happen. DH was always very happy to go along with my plans, but he was equally happy to stay at home.

My current partner is the complete opposite, always having ideas of exciting things to do and not just talking about them, arranging everything. Which is great....to a point.

It's all a bit much sometimes. It's an odd feeling becuase I could say no and he'd be fine with that, but he would be disappointed so I find it difficult to do. Also, he and his plans do make my life good, I don't want to rain on his parade and it is nice having someone prepared to take that on, I'm just not used to it !

I'm a control freak aren't I?

I'm like the earlier version of you. I have realised that I don't like it on the rare occasions dh organises things as it's not quite what I want/ how I would like it. Why can't they be mind readers? Is it so much to ask? 😄

He's just messaged to say he's organised two weekends away for several months time. We had briefly discussed and I daresay I'd agreed they were things I'dd like to do, and I'm sure they can be cancelled if I feel strongly I don't want to go, but there 's something unsettling about having someone else making plans for me so far in the future.

it could just be that it's a fairly new relationship and it's a bit of a shock to realise he's confident well still be together

I wouldn’t enjoy having things I’ve half agreed to being rapidly finalised in my absence, I’d feel railroaded.

Im the organiser in our house, and whilst I do tire of being The Only One Who Ever Makes Things Happen, it does mean I get everything my own way, down to the last detail.

I agree, but that is what I'd have done to DH. Quick conversation along the lines of "I was thinking we could do xyz in July" which he'd smile and nod at, then "btw I've booked xyz".

Talk to him.

i wouldn’t like it if my partner arranged things for me without my involvement.

Did he not ask you, hey, how about doing x or y for the weekend soon?

It’s about communication. You mentally expect an extra step.
Do you fancy Whitby in May?
Look, I’m going to book this, what do you think?
Booked it!

That gives you a chance to say, ‘No, not a self catered shepherd hut!’, if you’d assumed a spa with hot and cold running champagne.

I’m spectacularly grumpy at the moment. Feeling properly overlooked and unconsidered. So fuck ‘em. Be miserable and enjoy it! 😅

I think most Men like this, though. They don’t want the faff.