When making a big decision or life change would you rather have no opinions from people around you or poorly informed ones?

[Mamma2355]

That’s what we’re facing at the moment and I don’t know what is more annoying. Most people are tip-toeing around and not saying what they think, including experts we are paying to consult and people who are directly involved.

Meanwhile family are giving their two cents without the full picture, asking if we have considered x, y, z, even though we have thought of nothing else for the last year (and thought we told them as much), and it feels a bit infuriating.

The decisions and changes are all down to us of course, but in this case there are no good choices, just a lot of bad ones which is making this so hard.

I’m starting to think that a poorly informed opinion of someone weighing in is better than none at all as at least it helps you work out what your own feeling and position is.

Why are the paid experts and people directly involved not saying what they think?

Yeah I think I would ask people not to tiptoe.

its hard to know without knowing more of the details and I think there are too many variables. I think I’d find people giving uninformed advice the most annoying but it would depend who it was and what their intentions were.

I personally wouldn’t want anyone else’s opinion. I can make my own decisions, thanks. I think you risk having too many cooks in the kitchen. What’s the point of listening to poorly informed opinions? It sounds more like you’re just people pleasing than actually trying to make a decision informed by people who care about you. If someone had no idea what they were talking about, I certainly want their advice.You need to be more direct with higher expectations of the people you are paying to sort this out for you and with people actually directly involved.

Im not asking you to say what it is, but I do think the type of decision is relevant. Some things I’d tell my family to just stop with any opinions, some things I’d involve them more.
I’d expect an expert I’ve paid to consult to be a bit more decisive with a view though. Unless the decision you’re talking about is not ever going to be easily resolved and all experts can do is lay out the choices and then you have to make it yourself.

I remember being given the opinions of others' regarding a massive career change. All negative and discouraging me from doing it.

Boy did I show them.

The only opinion that matters with decision making is your own. You are the one that need to live with your choices.

I don’t want any family or friends opinions. I want experts only or just me and DH. Or even a counsellor who could reflect back my feelings.

family and friends in my circle chat a lot of shit