Is my boyfriend secretly gay?!

[cherrybaby136]

Hey everyone 24year old female dating my boyfriend for 3 years now I have this gut feeling something is off (maybe I’m just overthinking)

my boyfriend is the same age as me and I just don’t think my partner shows me enough attention or makes me feel sexy we live long distance and we always video call and I love to try on lingerie and show him to spice things up
but he just doesn’t seem that interested you know as a women you want to hear your partner fill your head up with all these things I find myself complaining to him that he doesn’t do it enough I don’t know if he’s just a person that can’t express his emotions or feelings
proper that’s what I discovered with him

I just see him jumping high for his friends whenever they need a favour or him being overly protective for his male friends but different with me

I just not getting that attention that makes me feel like oh yeah my man loves this if you know what I mean 😭

I could ramble but I hope I’m making sense

If you're always in leather chaps he's going to get used to it. He can't be expected to perform on cue every time.

It’s not about performing on cue I’m not taking about sexually I mean he just doesn’t notice me I have to do the most and point it out for him to realise things but if his friends get something done or a new clothing or hair cut he’s the first to notice

Why have you leaped straight to gay?
There's so much pressure on men to be hypersexual. Not all men are actually like that. Perhaps he just finds it a bit ick to comment on your body all the time.
My DH is definitely not gay. We have a great sex life and been married a decade. But he's not the type of person who would ever ever make a random sexualised comment about anyone including me. He'd also look quite confused if you tried to talk sexy with him outside of actually having sex. He'd just feel uncomfortable, he's quite shy. It doesn't mean he's gay!

I mean it might be that you and this guy aren't compatible because he can't express himself in the way you'd like a man to. Please don't make assumptions on his sexuality tho just coz he's not what you want.

No one here can know if your boyfriend is gay or not.

Other questions to think about

Are you in love with him?
Do you think he is in love with you?
Do you enjoy your time together when you meet up?
Maybe he is not into video call "action"? Have you tried just calling him on the phone, and talking to him? Do you have a lot of things to talk about? Do you think it's fun to talk to him?

You're not being very clear. In your OP you say you buy lingerie and want him to seem interested. When you've been with someone for three years, you become used to them.

Perhaps he's taking you for granted or your relationship is running out of steam. Speak to him and see what he says.

Long distance relationships are really hard to keep going. Other things become distracting, you are not together enough even if you can video call it hardly builds the same relationship seeing each other physically.

Perhaps it's run it's course.

I agree with others some men aren't as driven by sex as others. Doesn't make them bad people or lacking in that department but they need something different to what he's getting. It absolutely doesn't mean he is gay just because he notices his friends making changes to their appearance.