How important are your children’s diets to you?

[Nosleepforthismum]

Wondering if I need to relax a little after my MIL made a comment about my kids tea which was green pasta (broccoli, spinach, peas and cream cheese), chicken and carrots. Writing it down, it doesn’t seem very exciting or impressive but I try really hard to get the kids eating healthy food. Other times, we do salmon, rice and veg, chicken thighs, potatoes and veg, vegetable cheesy omelettes, spaghetti bolognaise, various soups and stews. She basically said it didn’t really matter if I feed my kids all this healthy stuff or chicken nuggets and chips, they all turn out the same. I think I’m a little sensitive because my eldest was so fussy when he was younger, his nursery thought he may have sensory issues with food and so it’s been a battle since weaning to be where we are now.

We do our fair share of icecream and chips at the weekends but in the week I am pretty strict. Just wondering what other parents do? Kids are 3 & 2.

Of course it makes a difference if you feed your dc fresh, homemade healthy food rather than nuggets and chips! It hardly sounds like you're obsessive about it anyway - plenty of perfectly normal meals and some treats in there too.

Obviously she's right, because every adult has the same diet and the same BMI as a result... 🙄

I did have a fairly bland/UPF diet myself growing up, until my sister and I could cook veg for ourselves.

I think given the unfortunate ubiquity of shit food you do have to teach kids to have it in moderation, but it's worth remembering the BILLIONS of pounds of resources put into making food as addictive as possible to young brains and palates. They can and do test on thousands of people to get the right "mouth feels" of textures to keep people shoving food in.

The show "What are we feeding our kids?" is very informative on the topic.

The number of overweight or obese children is high and rising, of course it matters, I don’t know why your MIL would think it doesn’t.

It’s very important to me that my children have a good diet. That doesn’t mean I’m super strict, or don’t allow treats or anything. But I prioritise a home cooked meal every day, with a good variety over the week. I know not everyone has the time to do that no matter how much they want to, but it’s something I focus on above other things.

My 12 and 14yo (and me!) have only fresh cooked food at home. We don’t have pasta, bread, general stodge etc either. There’s no reason to and we love our food. Kids have a great sense of flavour.

We only have water and milk to drink (they have whatever they want when out and about). Learned behaviour is incredibly important

Sounds like a great meal to me. I'd love my child to eat that - I do try but there are limited dinners dc will eat.
I strongly disagree with your Mil.

The more healthy foods you can get into children the better nourished they are, and the better their foundations for adult life. They're good meals covering a good range of nutrients and it sounds like it's just a positive lifestyle for your family.

In my 40s it's showing up between peers that have had decades of nutritious, active lifestyles and those that don't. The ones that haven't had diets that included a broad range of nutrients and haven't regularly been active are aging much more rapidly.
It's not a weight thing either, but those that were getting away with living on beige in their 20s and 30s aren't anymore, and their metabolisms aren't coping with it now. Those that may have had too much of good food still have a younger glow because their bodies haven't been deprived of the nutrients they need.

Life can be complicated, and for some meals you might just be filling a hole to get through the day, but it's daft to not serve up healthy meals when there's the capacity to provide them.

Of course it matters! There's also more and more interesting research coming out about the gut microbiome and links to health, including mental health. I would feel like shit if all I ate was chicken nuggets and chips and a child isn't any different. It is even more important for them as they are growing.

I don't think I'm really strict, but I'm conscious of my children's diets. I try to focus on having a range of home cooked meals and limit UPF as much as feels practical. They are allowed treats but crisps, chocolate etc are not an everyday item. Snacks or puddings at home are a piece of fruit or cheese. Drinks are water or milk. Yoghurt is plain with fruit added.

Tonight I needed DDs to have a quick dinner ready in 5 minutes so it was roast beef sandwiches, sugar snap peas, tomatoes, grapes and blueberries. That sort of meal (or mushrooms on toast, scrambled egg etc) is our go to rather than chicken nuggets or fish fingers, especially during the week.

They're 8 and 5 now and fortunately not at all fussy. They like McDonalds but they'll also happily eat a roasted vegetable salad at home. They'll eat pretty much anything and hopefully I'm setting them up with positive habits. I'd keep doing what you're doing.

YANBU if I’m honest I’m horrified at the shit so many people let their kids eat. Beige freezer food with peas for every meal, sugary cereals, loads of white bread and ham seems to be the diet of a lot of kids now.

I’m not obsessive but I’m mindful of my kids diet. Every meal has protein, two types of veg, and a good carb (potato, sweet potato, rice, pasta). Like PP if I’m really short on time then dinner would be a bowl of porridge with blueberries, or scrambled egg on crumpet, with yoghurt and fruit, rather than turkey dinosaurs. Breakfast is always plain Shreddies with milk and a banana, or wholewheat toast with peanut butter. Once a week we have a salmon side and I often roast trays of med veg to blitz into my own pasta sauce which the kids enjoy.

Twice a week or so they’re allowed a treat like ice cream for pudding, or a bar of chocolate.

I think your meals sound perfect. Setting good habits is key. All ppl including kids can be affected in many ways by lack of correct nutrition, and can be malnourished in the true sense of the word.
You are giving your kids a balanced view of food, mainly good basics veg, carbs and protein with a few treats. My neighbours kids aged 6 to 26 all eat basically fast foods and sweets, they are all slim which seems to be how ppl "see" a healthy person. What about the poor sleep, lack of motivation, concentration etc.
You keep doing you.

I'm amused by the people thinking that if they feed their dc a healthy diet then they'll automatically eat healthily when they grow up.

No.

My parents liked the healthy diet. We were only allowed "healthy" cereals for breakfast- ideally with a sprinkling of All bran. Lunch was a brown bread sandwich and salad. Dinner was a healthy solid English meal served, always, with mashed potato and two fresh veg. We were allowed chocolate on Sundays and cake was always home made. Eating out didn't happen, and takeaways was only fish and chips perhaps twice a year if we were lucky.

Result is that I know what I should eat. Just can't stand it. So my diet is pretty rubbish. I think I eat as well or better than my siblings...

What I'd say is, yes, have the healthy food. But do let them have other things too. My food issues would have been far less if my parents had relaxed enough to have "foreign" foods like rice sometimes.
And listen to them. If they tell you they really can't stand spinach then it's not them being awkward. Give them something else. Would you choose to sit and eat a meal you don't like?

The main thing it taught me was to manage to dispose of an entire pack lunch while sitting next to my family without them realising. So it was good for one thing I suppose.

You sound like you are doing really well to me. You mil is not helping by undermining you - although she may have just meant that you can afford to relax about it a bit.

No one thinks it’s automatic.

Your parents’ diet doesn’t sound great, I can see why you didn’t like it. Mashed potato every day?? Variety is a key thing I aim for with my children.

But what’s wrong with homemade cake??

YANBU if I’m honest I’m horrified at the shit so many people let their kids eat. Beige freezer food with peas for every meal, sugary cereals, loads of white bread and ham seems to be the diet of a lot of kids now.

Totally agree, @Wildflowers99 . My kids are adults now but I remember feeling quite shocked at the food being given to kids in their classes from nursery onwards - the ubiquity of beige shite and crisps.

It’s bullshit to say that feeding children this utter crap has no effect. How can their little brains and bodies develop properly if they’re pumped full of sugar and saturated fat and UPFs? What effect is it having on their appetites and metabolisms and future health outcomes? Look at the skyrocketing rates of bowel cancer in the under 40s.

They’re literally being involuntarily addicted to artificial flavours and additives, which will have an impact on their diet forever. Natural food is a difficult sell to a child whose palate has been primed from babyhood for sugar and salt and modified maize starch.

Your MIL may be being defensive because of what she fed her own kids, OP, but regardless, she’s talking out of her arse. Keep on doing what you’re doing.

Of course it matters!
Part of our job as parents is to look after our DC’s health….and that includes their diet.
I’ve always cooked most nights, majority of the time from scratch with the odd night of beige freezer food if I haven’t been grocery shopping yet or the occasional takeaway as a treat.
We are temporarily in the US and since we’ve been here, I’ve become hyperaware of what we are all eating purely because of the lax regulation on ingredients compared to the U.K. 😳 For example: at home in the U.K., I like to make my own pasta sauces, but I wouldn’t lose sleep over using the odd jar of sauce. But here?! A jar of what appears to be a basic tomato pasta sauce contains a list of ingredients as long as my arm, a million preservatives, artificial flavours, red dye 40 etc….all the shite I’d never want my DCs eating regularly.
We are a “in moderation” family. If my kids have eaten a balanced, home-cooked dinner, of course they can have a small handful of jelly beans 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sometimes I’ll make pancakes for Sunday breakfast or we’ll order pizza for Friday movie night, but they aren’t having those things every day.

My neighbours kids aged 6 to 26 all eat basically fast foods and sweets, they are all slim which seems to be how ppl "see" a healthy person. What about the poor sleep, lack of motivation, concentration etc.

I agree with @Eyerollexpert . Slim isn't the be all and end all. We need a good diet for our gut health, immune system and long term health. Maybe everyone turns out the same on the outside but all this obesity and increase in bowel cancer isn't coming from nowhere. I say stick with it OP. Of course there have to be treats but they don't need to be the norm. If your kids are willing to eat the food stuff without a battle and you have the time, money and energy to provide it, I don't see why you'd consider giving them anything different.

It's much easier for outsiders because they only see the occasional "treat" but I find so many people are keen to press sweets and crisps and breadcrumbs on my child that it could easily outweigh the good stuff.

Well it matters to me too. Today we had takeaway pizza. The last time we had that was a year ago. We tend to eat fresh homemade food with veg and only drink water with the odd soft drink at parties.
If you don’t set up good habits now, their health will deteriorate

At least once weekly I cook and eat with my grandchildren. Your varied and balanced diet is my idea of heaven. Ignore her is my advice.