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Do you think rich children stop playing younger than poor children?

58 replies

elliejjtiny · 25/03/2025 13:57

I was watching an old episode of rich holiday poor holiday (don't judge me it's my guilty pleasure!) and there was a little girl, from a rich family who I think was 9 saying that a museum would be boring, but then getting interested and really enjoying it, playing with all the interactive bits etc. The mum said it was great and that she hadn't played like that since she was about 6. I've since noticed that other children in that programme and in real life from wealthy families be more interested in screens and grown up stuff from quite an early age.

We live in a deprived area and the children here, including mine seem to play well into their teens. They aren't glued to phones etc until 16-18ish and when we have friends round to our house the 13/14 year old's are loving the climbing frame, trampoline etc. My nearly 17 year old will have a bit of a moan about a family day out to a museum but when we get there he is really into it. He also loved a trip to the park with his friends. My younger teenagers have their costs on and are standing by the car before you can finish suggesting going out somewhere.

It made me wonder if it's just a coincidence or do children from poorer families carry on playing for longer? I'm also wondering why. One theory I had was that the children of rich families might have better/more exciting phones/games consoles etc. Children of rich families are probably more likely to have a games console each rather than one shared between the family like we do.

OP posts:
howaboutchocolate · 26/03/2025 07:36

I do think there's some truth to it.
My friends kids go to private school and they are always so serious. They're 7 and 10, and she never takes them to the playground or for a muddy walk. They're far too busy with tennis club and drama club and school activities. They always seem to be on the go and have no time to just be and play. I find it really sad.

mamajong · 26/03/2025 07:38

We aren't rich but we are comfortable and for us its a mixed bag with our kids. DD1 for example prefers socialising with friends so goes out a lot, not really playing as such but hanging out. Zero interest in gaming. DS1 is sporty, he has games consoles but spends more time at sports training either organised or solo and only games when no one is around to do sports with. DSD plays still with toys and friends but gaming is a part of that and DSS is obsessed with gaming and has to be forced to do other things, which he does enjoy when he gets there but his default choice would be the Xbox. So in my experience it's to do with the child not socio economic class

cressidahun · 26/03/2025 07:44

For me, looking at the one school my DC go to, it’s the poorer children who grow up quicker. They’re the ones on Minecraft or consoles from Y1 age.

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Wincher · 26/03/2025 07:53

I agree with posts saying it depends on the child. My eldest has always been happy for hours playing with toys/drawing/entertaining himself - well, he’s a teenager now so less so but he’ll still go and build a den in the woods with friends etc. He does enjoy screen time but it’s always been balanced. With my youngest I remember him saying aged 4 that he was too old to play with toys any more! I did tell him firmly that he wasn’t at all, but he has never really enjoyed playing as such - he never liked small world/imaginative play, or Lego, or anything much. He will play in the garden but he’d generally much much rather be on screens and it’s always been a battle. Same parenting, different child!

Peekingovertheparapet · 26/03/2025 08:01

It depends a lot on the household dynamics. To be really playful children need other children around - we are lucky to live in a neighbourhood with plenty of kids, and there are multiple families who all have boys, ranging from 7 to 13. There are multiple different group dynamics and the kids play in smaller groups or as a large pack depending on mood.

it is an affluent area (our kids are in the minority in the street being state educated). There are lots of devices, and 3D printers and other tech. As a group they only get time on screens if the weather is awful, or they are using the screens for a purpose (eg stop frame animation).

I try and minimise screen time, but we both work full time and so it is something of a necessary evil at times. I’m worried about tech in terms of their ability to communicate, especially when we get to secondary school.

my kids (10 & 8) still love to play energetic games, and are happy playing imaginatively. I find it’s the only children who lose that quicker. Sure there is potentially more adult attention, but not if two parents are working full time at stressful jobs, as is often the norm for single child households. Often those parents are older, and do more culturally enriching activities, eg museums etc. free play is harder as it has to be arranged. I don’t think this is a class thing in and of itself, but certain classes are likely to leave children until later and have only children.

pimplebum · 26/03/2025 08:03

Richer kids I know have tennis coaching , music lessons , ski holidays. All the school trips house riding etc and I’d say knackered worn out poor parents ( me) put kids in front of screens

Scrubberdubber · 26/03/2025 08:08

Agree, you only have to drive round a poor neighbourhood and you'll see loads of kids outside playing. Drive round a rich neighbourhood and complete silence.

RaspberryRipple2 · 26/03/2025 08:08

Agree with posters that it’s much more likely to be the opposite in my experience with rich families far less likely to have/overuse devices. It’s very unlikely that the sort of rich families wanting to appear on this type of TV programme are a cross section of that population though 😂😂

Middleagedstriker · 26/03/2025 08:16

With my job I travel around the big city a lot go and go into lots of different homes. Personally I found everywhere is pretty bad for kids glued to screens.
But it is incredibly noticeable that children only really play outside on council estates and the odd housing estate usually in poorer areas. Middle class children are almost never unsupervised.

LSGXX · 26/03/2025 08:17

I think it’s not so much about wealth/ poverty but to do with class and education levels.

Sweeping generalisations here but - in general - I’d say that children from lower class, less well-educated families feel peer-pressure to grow up sooner. That children from better-educated families may feel more free to ‘be children’ for longer. This is based on no real evidence, just my own observations.

Aspotofgardening · 26/03/2025 08:20

Complete opposite. Have taught in deprived schools for years and every child has the latest phone, tablet and console and no parental restrictions. In the poorest schools the children don’t even know how to play playground games anymore as we did as children. One school really stands out to me where the children literally stood in a bare playground or just ran around aimlessly every play time, most with two chocolate bars or an entire can of Pringles for their snack.

My child is at a private school. All the parents are very conscious of screen time and social media. The children don’t have smartphones through primary school, and all the children have endless opportunities for play, forest school activities, clubs and sports.

Play is often a privilege nowadays.

NormasArse · 26/03/2025 08:21

I think it fully depends on the parents.

WORKERbeen · 26/03/2025 08:25

I grew up poor, and I can promise you we were not out “playing” aged 14/15. I love museums etc but was never taken to one as a child, we didn’t have the money for day trips out and living up north there isn’t much by the way of free museums etc unless you travel far.

I see it now when I visit my home town and drive through parts of the city I live in, it’s not the middle class children causing anti social behaviour and steeling cars etc is it?

godsmessage · 26/03/2025 09:55

I’m not sure this is true. When I taught primary, I’d say most of the boys were playing football at playtime regardless of family income or class. Some of the girls too. The most stark difference that I saw was between the girls who weren’t playing sport. The girls from better off backgrounds were generally more likely to be engaged in imaginary games until an older age. Girls from lower income families often seemed more ‘grown up’ than the others and would, generally, be more likely to chat instead of playing. But these are generalisations. We always had a few girls (and occasionally boys) who had more responsibility at home than the others, usually the oldest siblings. These kids were more likely to be from lower income families, I suppose because families with higher incomes can afford to buy in services to help with the tasks that the parents can’t juggle. The more responsibility at home, the less likely they were to play and the younger they stopped playing.

Children with difficult home lives were generally less likely to play too. While a child from any background can experience home difficulties, we had kids who were living in B&Bs or very overcrowded or damp homes. These types of issues can make a child more tired, stressed and less likely to play in my experience.

It’s hard for me to comment on the impact that tech has because at primary, it’s less obvious who has more access to screens at home because they don’t bring phones into school. To be honest, parents from across the income spectrum talked to me about difficulties with managing screen time at home. But this was back when tablets etc were (relatively) new and not as sophisticated as they are now, so at the time it was mainly the highest income families where children had access to their own iPad, for example, instead of sharing one between a family or not having one at all. I expect that’s changed significantly now. I didn’t notice a particular difference in the play habits of the children who I knew had access to their own tech, but I suspect that on average, parents were probably more wary of allowing a lot of screen time when this type of handheld tech was relatively new than they are now.

But I also think it has something to do with the personality of the child. I hated being a kid and wanted to grow up as rapidly as possible, I can remember feeling patronised by any attempts by adults to get me to engage in play by the time I was about 6. My mother says that I flatly refused to engage in the ‘let’s all pretend to be monkeys getting onto Noah’s ark’-type activities at playgroup and school from when I was a tot. I have no doubt that more play would have been good for me, and I had plenty of opportunities to play, but nothing could have persuaded me to do it. I wanted to craft, join in with the jobs that adults were doing, and do structured board game-type play that didn’t seem ‘babyish’ to me. I was on an absolute mission to get to adulthood and be independent and autonomous, which seems sad looking back, but I don’t think there’s anything my parents could have done to change that.

My sister, on the other hand, played imaginary games with toys until at least the start of secondary with exactly the same home environment. I sometimes idly wonder (because, according to my mother, I was extremely play-averse to a very noticeable degree so we talk about it a bit in relation to my own child and how he’s different to me at the same age) whether it is extremely complex and things like birth order and even gap between siblings comes into it. I was the oldest with a four-year age gap, so I always saw my place in the family as the much older one. My sister, conversely, probably saw herself as very much the youngest. There was no competition between us because that would have been unfair given the age gap, so she had no impetus to try and act older and ‘catch up’ with me and perhaps that made her feel free to be childlike and playful for longer. I was always very happy in my role as the big sister and she was always happy to be the little one, until we were older and became more like peers. Looking back, I’d say my friends with the same birth order and age gap tended to follow the same dynamic, whereas friends with smaller gaps were more like peers from the get-go and more likely to do imaginary play at home together, with less defined ‘older and younger’ identities.

sorry for the ramble, what an interesting question!

Gaterade · 26/03/2025 10:00

I’ve been thinking about this kind of issue for years. Think the opposite in some ways.

Working class kids tend to enter the adult world much earlier than middle class kids. They leave school earlier, work earlier etc while middle class kids tend to go to uni and meet up with their old school friends in hols do they’re often stilll like schoolchildren at 21! My peer group has gone straight home to mum /dads after uni and most (not all) were still living like school kids aged 27!

Sleepingmole6 · 26/03/2025 10:24

Aspotofgardening · 26/03/2025 08:20

Complete opposite. Have taught in deprived schools for years and every child has the latest phone, tablet and console and no parental restrictions. In the poorest schools the children don’t even know how to play playground games anymore as we did as children. One school really stands out to me where the children literally stood in a bare playground or just ran around aimlessly every play time, most with two chocolate bars or an entire can of Pringles for their snack.

My child is at a private school. All the parents are very conscious of screen time and social media. The children don’t have smartphones through primary school, and all the children have endless opportunities for play, forest school activities, clubs and sports.

Play is often a privilege nowadays.

This 👆

Also work at a very deprived school and children are on devices from very early on, for long periods of time. It's evident in fine motor skills, reasoning in science, behaviour on the playground that they do a lot less playing than more well of children. I see babies and toddlers coming into the school glued to phones, the vast majority of children in lower KS2 have their own phone.

Scrubberdubber · 26/03/2025 10:26

Gaterade · 26/03/2025 10:00

I’ve been thinking about this kind of issue for years. Think the opposite in some ways.

Working class kids tend to enter the adult world much earlier than middle class kids. They leave school earlier, work earlier etc while middle class kids tend to go to uni and meet up with their old school friends in hols do they’re often stilll like schoolchildren at 21! My peer group has gone straight home to mum /dads after uni and most (not all) were still living like school kids aged 27!

Idk I mean I'm middle class and had a child and moved out at 16 🤷🏻‍♀️ that aside this thread is about young kids not teens/adults.

I've deffo observed at least in my town if you go round the poor neighbourhoods you'll see loads of kids out playing but if you go round the richer neighborhoods you could hear a pin drop, so I see ops point.

Gaterade · 26/03/2025 10:40

Scrubberdubber · 26/03/2025 10:26

Idk I mean I'm middle class and had a child and moved out at 16 🤷🏻‍♀️ that aside this thread is about young kids not teens/adults.

I've deffo observed at least in my town if you go round the poor neighbourhoods you'll see loads of kids out playing but if you go round the richer neighborhoods you could hear a pin drop, so I see ops point.

yes admittedly I thought when I was posting that this threads about younger kids

HappyAsASandboy · 26/03/2025 10:40

I think it depends more on the family than the finances. My 14 year old spends a couple of hours in our garden each night, on the swing/trampoline/kicking a ball about/trying to mend the hammock! If we’re bringing finances in to it, she can only do that play because we have a large garden with that equipment in it.

Museums is a funny one because I don’t think of them as play really. Of my 4 kids, two would love a museum and an activity pack and two wouldn’t. It isn’t age related or finance related because most museums are free!

I imagine it is also down to where you live. I am pretty rural, so playing outside means having a garden (more money?). If we lived in town we wouldn’t have such a garden, and the choice of hanging around town with mates would be more available.

We mostly camp for holidays, which also encourages play. Minimal WiFi, bikes on hand, other kids of all ages …. my teens are very likely to be rolling down hills or building a den or messing in mud because that’s what the smaller kids are doing and there’s no WiFi available!

Gaterade · 26/03/2025 10:43

Scrubberdubber · 26/03/2025 10:26

Idk I mean I'm middle class and had a child and moved out at 16 🤷🏻‍♀️ that aside this thread is about young kids not teens/adults.

I've deffo observed at least in my town if you go round the poor neighbourhoods you'll see loads of kids out playing but if you go round the richer neighborhoods you could hear a pin drop, so I see ops point.

Also I see your point -like you I’m middle class but my I was an only child whose mother went back to work full time as soon as I was born and was also sadly an abusive alcoholic. I found a lot of other middle class kids I was at school with precious and irritating and was cleaning the house too to bottom at 13 with your being asked. I also left school and didn’t do A levels

DoNoTakeNo · 26/03/2025 10:45

It’s about parenting style, surely?

Neverenoughbiscuits · 26/03/2025 11:03

Middleagedstriker · 26/03/2025 08:16

With my job I travel around the big city a lot go and go into lots of different homes. Personally I found everywhere is pretty bad for kids glued to screens.
But it is incredibly noticeable that children only really play outside on council estates and the odd housing estate usually in poorer areas. Middle class children are almost never unsupervised.

Just because you didn't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen!

I'd say we're probably in the middle class bracket. My kids had many friends growing up where they'd always be at each others houses and out in the gardens unsupervised. There was no need for them to be out on the streets. Screen time was restricted and gaming didn't really happen until they were at least over 10. I feel like my older DC were definitely able to be younger for longer. It has been harder with the younger two as they are exposed to things earlier by virtue of them having older siblings.

Neverenoughbiscuits · 26/03/2025 11:05

Scrubberdubber · 26/03/2025 10:26

Idk I mean I'm middle class and had a child and moved out at 16 🤷🏻‍♀️ that aside this thread is about young kids not teens/adults.

I've deffo observed at least in my town if you go round the poor neighbourhoods you'll see loads of kids out playing but if you go round the richer neighborhoods you could hear a pin drop, so I see ops point.

As per my post above. Surely a large part of that is not having access to gardens. It's not that the "rich kids" aren't outside, it's just that they are in their gardens where you can't see them?

Scrubberdubber · 26/03/2025 11:08

Neverenoughbiscuits · 26/03/2025 11:05

As per my post above. Surely a large part of that is not having access to gardens. It's not that the "rich kids" aren't outside, it's just that they are in their gardens where you can't see them?

If they were in their gardens you'd hear them when walking through a wealthy neighborhood in my comments I said you can hear a pin drop in the wealthier parts of my town. Parks in wealthier areas tend to be really quiet too. When I walk through the poorer neighbourhoods of my town the parks are rammed with kids.

Just my experience

hoodiemassive · 26/03/2025 11:14

I live in a deprived area where we only have back yards not gardens. All the kids play out relentlessly, especially those who come from deprived families.

Ime poor kids end up making their own fun. We used to live in a more affluent area and all the kids played in their own gardens or went out to activities/extra curricular stuff.