Lost interest in travel and feeling boring...

[NotAWandererAnyLonger]

I always wanted to travel when I was younger. My dad had done loads before he settled down with my mum and aspired to be like him.

For various reasons it didn't happen (aside from trip round Australia for honeymoon) when I was younger, but after I got divorced at 40 I managed to fit in a few trips abroad with my DD before Covid struck.

This year I turn 50 and have got trips to Paris and Sicily booked, as well as 10 days in Yorkshire.

I'm increasingly realising that I'm most excited about Yorkshire, where I'm staying at two places I've been before (but never both in the same holiday). I'm looking forward to Sicily with my daughter because we'll be able to spend time together relaxing, and tbh dreading Paris a bit.
It's a solo trip I booked on the spur of the moment and would cancel if I wouldn't lose the entire cost.

There are still places I would like to go, but overarchingly im just not that fussed. The airport and public transport logistics, costs (I'm single and work term time only so there's a fair bit of sacrifice involved in getting a trip abroad sorted financially. There's no way I can get abroad during the summer holidays so I have to squeeze trips into the shorter holidays), packing etc just doesn't float my boat anymore.

But I feel like I'm letting go of part of myself, and I guess something that was part of my Dad who passed away four years ago. Also feel like my daughter will see me as painfully boring and 'giving up' a bit.

Has anyone else had this when they've gotten older?

There was a thread like this a few weeks back and lots of people agreed with your sentiments OP.

I’m not one of them I have to say. I love going places.

Are these all trips that were your choice? If Paris is someone else’s choice of destination I can understand being less excited (although… it’s Paris!!! It will be fab!)

Wondering why you can’t go away in the summer?

I can sympathize. I am away soon for a week and actually dreading the airport and the flights and just the faff of getting there and back.
I know I’m so lucky to be able to have a break and many can’t afford a holiday anywhere ( have had that in the past too) but I think it’s just general anxiety of having to negotiate airports and all that entails. I also don’t like packing.
I don’t think traveling anywhere is as exciting as it used to be, but probably just an age thing and life becoming a bit harder maybe?
I hope you enjoy the trips once your there op!

Paris and Yorkshire my choice (both solo trips), Sicily was somewhere both me and DD wanted to go.

The Yorkshire trip is over the summer holidays, it's just too expensive for me to abroad then and I dislike extreme heat so it works better for me to do overseas trips in Spring and Autumn.

I'm probably just feeling a bit meh because the trips I'd like to do are out of my reach financially for the foreseeable. Also I'm a bit anxious about Paris solo as it'll be my first time overseas completely on my own and in my flurry of enthusiasm I didn't pick the best hotel location (it's fine just miles from the airport so a bit faffy).

It's not so much not wanting to see new places I guess, as just not wanting to do it for the sake of it iykwim?

Thanks - I hope you enjoy yours too.

I've not been abroad since Covid so that's probably what's rattling me.

I must admit as I’ve got older the attraction of package holidays and cruises has become more evident because I don’t deal with the logistics! This year we are road tripping and I’m finding booking 12 hotels overwhelming when 10 years ago it was all fun.

I would say what is wrong with Yorkshire anyway!!! I’m taking a 6 day holiday there myself, camping

Yes ok so they are your choice but not if you had free choice (without budget/timing limitations). I can understand it being a bit less exciting in that case. But still think they sound like great trips and not “for the sake of it”. If you didn’t go you might well end the year feeling sad that you hadn’t gone anywhere?

The airport and travel logistics - it’s like anything else, the more you do it the less anxious it will make you.

Take some good books and hope you enjoy.

@NotAWandererAnyLonger For the Paris trip, maybe take the pressure off actually doing loads when you are there ?
Find out where a park is, take a book. Enjoy the time rather than feel out have to ‘do’ Paris if that makes sense ?

I know what you mean .... just come back from 8 days in Mexico City, originally we were going to go and travel to a couple of other cities ... but decided we'd do a couple of day trips and just slow the pace down. It was all rather chilled and lovely.

Maybe you’re a bit jaded as Paris is a compromise trip, rather than somewhere you really want to go to. Can you identify one or two dream places and start saving for those ?

I've always fancied Paris, just kept putting it off as thought it would be nice to go with the 'right person' iykwim?

But then I had a backdated pay rise last year and thought sod it!

I'm not planning to cram too much in as I've only got two nights. Monmartre day 1, Notre Dame and mooch along the Seine day 2...via L'hotel for a lunchtime cocktail, Musee D'Orsay and end up at the Eiffel Tower in time for sunset.
Day 3 Latin Quarter and maybe the catacombs before early evening flight home.

I've booked an aparthotel south of the city and found a nice authentic bar for one evening and will probably just do snacks and wine and chill out at the hotel for the first night.

I'm sure I'll love it when I'm there, it just all feels a bit daunting atm.

@minnienono absolutely nothing wrong with Yorkshire - this will be my fifth visit in 8 years and fourth year running. Tbh I'd happily do a couple of weeks there (at least!) every year. I stay with either lovely Air B&B host in Harrogate or book the same gorgeous cottage in Haworth, stock up on books and foodie treats and mooch about as and when the mood takes me...it's absolute paradise! This year I'm doing both places...I can't wait 😁

You are brave going on your own to Paris, but I’m sure you’ll be fine and it seems well planned out. I’ve never been, but I bet it’ll be easier and faster than getting around london is!

You are the right person to go with OP!

Lovely to go to Paris and do exactly the bits you want to do with no compromises to suit someone else’s bucket list or eating/sleeping habits. Take a good book or two and enjoy the cafes and squares.

@the80sweregreat I've been single for 9 years and none of my friends are in the same
boat really so I do a lot of stuff solo (or with DD but she's turning 21 this year so off on her own adventures).

I've gotten used to and I like being able to make my own itinerary and change stuff as I go without worrying about someone else tbh. I was debating asking someone to join me for Paris but I've sorted what I want to do now so I'll probably carry on as planned.

I think it's partly getting older and knowing time and funds are not unlimited I've just narrowed down the places I'd like to see.

My mum has always been a real homebody and I always thought she was so tedious about it growing up (we never went abroad as a family), while I was closer to my Dad who was a real adventurer (and a £10 Pom!) so it's letting go of part of the identity I aspired to acknowledge I'm just not so bothered anymore.

That's the plan, lots of coffee, people watching and maybe a bit of sketching!

Hi OP, I'm a little older than you, and although this particular issue doesn't apply to me, I do find that turning 50 has been a time to reflect on things like who I am and what I want out of life. I think that we have a picture in our minds of ourselves, which in your case may be partly based on the person your dad would have approved of, and part of getting older involves challenging those assumptions and letting go of the things we used to do or think we should do and really just being comfortable in our own skin.

Your trip to Paris sounds lovely and I am sure you will enjoy it once you’re there.
I think it’s natural as you get older to become more anxious about the mechanics of travelling.
we are currently away and I must admit to a bit of worrying that I had bitten off more than I could chew as it’s self organised around Costa Rica using free BA flights. But it has been fabulous and I am so glad we came.

Any glamour was sucked out of travelling a long time ago. Sure once you get there it's great but to & from? not so much.

Everyone being expected to travel the world is a relatively recent phenomenon. There are many ways to discover things about yourself and about the larger world that don’t involve travel. It’s not inherently more valuable than other pursuits.

Yorkshire is fab, have a great time and very diverse in lots of ways so lots to experience. You've picked a good year as its the city of culture in Bradford so loads to see and do.

Travel doesn't have to be long haul or even abroad to be enjoyable and full of new experiences. Where in Yorkshire are you going?

Paris will be great too, I've been there alone, its fine.

I agree Op. For me it's a bit that places I liked or are affordable; city break type things are now all a bit samey. Loads of tourists, bars and restaurants that could be anywhere. Anything off the beaten track ends up costing pa fortune.
. , .,I am grateful I've been to lots of places al.ready but yes I'm doing road trips and cruises just because they are about travelling without the disappointment of staying a week somewhere pretty dull.

Haven't been on holiday for years. I class a holiday as not going to work. I like being at home. My kids might think I'm boring but it doesn't bother me.

Similar here. It's ironic that now I have plenty of funds and free time (retired, fit and healthy) but I can't be bothered much TBH.

I suppose I did a lot of travelling when younger and while working as the breaks away were very necessary then! I kind of feel lazy now and keep putting things off.

In a similar boat as friends are not in the same place financially with kids at uni and elderly parents, and most are still working. My DP has mobility issues and while he will go away, he doesn't enjoy moving around much when there, understandably!

So I force myself to go away on my own. I can't say it is magical, but it is a great achievement for me. If it's any help to you OP the best way to travel alone is with minimal baggage. That means a small underseat backpack and not much else. Makes the journey so much easier and hassle free when getting on and off aircraft, trains, buses and even while walking. That's my biggest tip, and obviously will only work for 4-5 days, but that's long enough for me on my own anyway! Next tip is research, research, research. I find out how to get from airport to hotel, walk google maps to see what's around, where the bus stops are, that kind of thing.

Sometimes the armchair travelling and planning is more rewarding than actually being there....

It’s natural for travel priorities to shift with age. You’re not giving up just embracing what truly brings you joy. Familiar places can be just as fulfilling as new ones. Your daughter values time with you, not just destinations. Honor your dad’s legacy in ways that feel right for you.

I’m the same. I’ve recently ducked out of a very long haul holiday with most of the family since I couldn’t face the very long flight, with a shorter one tacked on, all the faff and hassle of airports, and major jet lag on top. I know they all think I’m very boring but TBH I really don’t care.

Increasingly I like home, and my own bed.
This is a relatively recent thing though - for many years I had itchy feet and would go anywhere. I have the excuse of being pretty old now, though, and a fully paid up grumpy old bag.

Haha. I do love my little home.

I think that's partly the issue...I work two jobs and am studying for an OU degree so I don't get a massive amount of time to relax and enjoy my own home.

Hence when I have downtime I'd rather enjoy it at home.

If life was less busy and money was no object I suspect I might feel slightly differently.