Do cliquey people know they’re being cliquey?

[fourelementary]

that really…

When people leave other people out and say, arrange small group acitivities within a larger group setting… do you think they realise they’re being cliquey or do you think they just assume other people could ask/join/arrange their own thing?

Childs sports team, mums used to stand about and watch and chat. Now a few of them go for walks together both during team time but also in own time and post about it on FB. Group chat never mentions “hey were thinking of meeting for a walk at x or y- all welcome”…so it’s only those few.

I’ve seen it at other groups and yet never knowingly been in the clique- but maybe if I was, I wouldn’t genuinely notice and would assume I was acting normally…

Hope this question makes sense…

Not sending out a mass invitation is not the same as being resistant to other people joining, so I don’t see the evidence here that they are a clique.

But I also think you’re framing this unreasonably. It’s perfectly normal for people to be cliquey some of the time. Having your friendship groups constantly open to change can be unsettling and destabilize them. It’s good to have some groups where people come and go and everyone is welcome, but also important to have some groups that are more stable where you can get closer to people and can rely on tighter norms. People finding smaller groups where they get on with everyone easily is not something they ought to be avoiding.

It’s great if these mums can turn trudging after their football/tennis/hockey playing kids into an opportunity to make good friends, why on earth would you begrudge women that?