Dd ill away from home wwyd?

[Eebs]

18 year old dd had gone to a uni open day, staying over in accommodation the night before. Stated she had a sore throat this morning but seemed fine, has just rung in tears saying shes shivering and feels really ill. I could drive down to her and be there if she needs to come home tomorrow rather than stay for the day. Or be available to bring her home. But shes 18, but shes still on her own and ill with noone she knows. Its about 4.5 hours by train, 3.5 by car. Wwyd?

Does she want to come home tonight? Has she dosed up with lemsip / paracetamol for now? If not, can you get some to her /can she order it in herself ie Uber Eats from a late night supermarket?

I would go and get her. It’s what I would want if I was her and what I’d do for any friend, let alone family member. There’s an awful, awful bug going around and she just needs some TLC

Thanks for your reply. She just had some more paracetemol and gone for a shower to try and warm up. Not sure what she wants yet. My worry is if she gets too ill to stay and i am so far she will have to find somewhere to be until can get to her. Has to leave accommodation at 10. And she is so disappointed of she misses the day of course. Ah its just a lot of mum worry.

This is my instinct but i wanted to check in as sometimes instincts are good and sometimes they need checking in with!

There will be other uni days. Let her make the decision but if she’s ill and wants to come home, I would absolutely facilitate that!

Best that she goes to sleep and decide how she feels in the morning.

Thank you, this is such a lovely reply 😊

You need to be at your best to get the most out of an open day. It sounds as if your DD would be wise to take a rain-check - she can always sign up for the next one. If she wants to be at home sleeping off her flu/cold/weird virus that's somewhere between the two, I'd look to expedite that. The sooner she's better, the sooner she can organise a revisit.

If you can collect her and are ok for a 7hr round trip then it might be best to collect her. See how she is on the morning.

My dd suffered from terrible tonsillitis during her uni time. I drove for hours to pick her up one night. She has ended up in hospital on occasions with it. I would never hesitate on picking her up when ill.

I’d go and get her. I don’t care how old my kids get, if they need me I will go, and I have.

Christmas 2022, DS1 was 28, he had proper flu and couldn’t look after himself. He was in army barracks and wasn’t well enough to drive himself to us, so me and DH went and picked him up. DH drove his car back so when he was well he could drive to his girlfriend’s. I’d do the same if he was 58, and he’d do the same for me.

She's not really ill, just a bit sorry for herself. Just tell her to stay put, do the open day tomorrow and then come back as planned. You can't start running around after someone for a sniffle!
And if she bails, it doesn't look good - this is when she starts to learn about resilience.

How do you think you know she's not really ill???

There are some really horrible bugs going around.

How insulting of you to say she just has a sniffle

At this time of night she'd be better just getting to bed. If she's really unwell it's the best place for her rather than sitting for 3.5 hours in the car in the middle of the night

If she's still poorly tomorrow could you drive down and book a premier inn or something and have another night before heading home. You'd both benefit from that

How do you know she’s not really ill? There’s a lot of nasty things going around atm. And she was being resilient this morning when she went off to her open day with a sore throat, which sounds like it’s now progressed into something more.

Is she in a hotel room on her own? If so id drive down and take the supplies and stay there with her overnight then either drive her back in the morning or hang around while she goes to the lectures.

I’m glad you’re not my parent! What a cold-hearted response.

OP - go and get her if she wants to come home. Being unwell and away from home is miserable no matter how old you are!

How do you know? What a strange thing to say when you’ve actually no clue

But yes OP, I would go and get her. Hope she’s ok.

Have her get some sleep and ring you in the morning. Give her the choice of train, pick up or soldier through depending on how she feels then. Tell her to drink lots of fluids and keep the paracetamol up.

Not sure what accommodation she is in but a late check out shouldn't be a problem if she explains the situation, or she could hole up in a cafe until you get to her. If it's uni accommodation they will probably be even more understanding.

How is she doing @Eebs?