How to gain confidence in 40s if you've never had it

[Howlow0]

For those of you that have managed to become more confident in middle age, how have you managed it? I've always lacked confidence, stumble over words when talking to new people, don't know what to say in social situations. Feel on the edge of every social circle. I was a lot worse as a child. So it has got better to some extent but it still holds me back so much in life.

Since this post has came back up. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their suggestions. I've started running, not in a group as yet. I wanted to get a little better myself first. But I've signed up to my first 5k to keep me motivated so a small step but I'm hoping it helps with the lack of confidence. I've also made an appointment to ask about HRT as I'm hoping this will help with the anxiety and brain fog.

That's great, @Howlow0.

Have you considered going on courses such as Assertiveness. I have been on a few in my past. There should be some in most major cities and towns. I found mine asking google.

to be honest, fake it till you make it.

its a mix to me there is no set plan its more case by case and people by people

that said in general im chatty with everyone so then you start to figure the personlities. i guess try to adapt your personalitiy to x situation but dont completely change yourself

I think it’s probably lots of practise but also developing a slightly thicker skin and not worrying so much about what yoj say or how you come across. Seems to me that lots of people don’t think at all about this and while that makes them confident it doesn’t make them charming company! I am sure you are lovely and are a sensitive, thoughtful person.

I find my own confidence is not settled at all but varies according to situations / and my own state of mind. Anyway, I think practise is the key.