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Feeling stuck and sad

3 replies

Purplemood · 23/03/2025 17:57

Hi just wondering if anyone can give me any words of advice in regards to dating as a single mum.
I split up with my child's father 2.5 years ago. His mum massively interfered with our relationship and eventually he just walked away. I never expected to be in this position and I'm still struggling with it to be honest.
Since we separated I have dated 3 men and reflecting it on it they all love bombed me and then went cold / distant wanting to see me very casually and leaving me feeling like I didn't know where I stand then it would just fizzle out or they ghosted me.
I feel like my confidence is on the floor and I know I'm not perfect and maybe I can come on too strong. I don't know.
im just wondering if it will ever get better. I really want to move on with my life and just be happy but it feels impossible. I'm mid 30's and really want another child but only in a committed relationship. This feels unlikely for me now.
I sometimes spend time with child and ex and enjoy it but the thought of us getting back together gives me the anxiety I had when we were together due to the immense pressure from MIL (she is Muslim, I am not) so some cultural differences maybe.
any advice welcome please.

OP posts:
Givemethesun · 23/03/2025 19:22

Hi op. Really sorry you’re feeling like this. The men you dated sound awful and aren’t a reflection of you. It is interesting you said you’ve enjoyed spending time with your ex and dc. Have you communicated this to him? And how you feel about the mil? It could be worth at least communicating that to him. In terms of other men, there are good men out there it sounds like you’ve had a really difficult time. Sorry not to be of more help x

Purplemood · 23/03/2025 20:57

Thanks for your reply, yes I have told him and he feels the same but the issues with his mum will never go away and he won't stand up to her or live any differently and it made me ill when we were together x

OP posts:
jesseknoll · 19/12/2025 07:49

Hi there, I really hear you. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and it’s completely normal to feel stuck and unsure after such challenging experiences. It can be exhausting when past relationships leave you feeling ghosted or undervalued, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.

I found that focusing on rebuilding your confidence first, before diving back into dating, makes a huge difference. Even small practices like journaling your strengths, setting boundaries, and spending time on things that bring you joy can help reset your perspective. I came across Joy Potential recently, and their approach to cultivating inner joy and self-worth really resonated with me. It emphasizes reconnecting with your own happiness first, which makes attracting a healthy, committed partner feel much more possible.

You’re also wise to reflect on the dynamics with your ex and his family. Sometimes loving someone isn’t enough if the environment consistently adds stress or anxiety. Protecting your mental health and your child’s wellbeing is crucial, and it’s okay to prioritize that over reconciling with your ex.

One practical tip that helped me: start by identifying what a truly supportive partner looks like to you and the boundaries you want in place. It makes dating clearer and helps avoid patterns where you feel undervalued.

You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it can get better with time, self-care, and support. Keep leaning into your own joy, and the rest will follow.

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