How do you keep on top of ‘stuff’ in your house?

[Acornpip]

Really need some tips and advice on this. DH and I have objectively a pretty big house for our family size, we have 1 DS who is nearly 1 and a cat.

But it feels like we are drowning in stuff. I’m finding it so hard to keep the house clean because when I get time, I spend it tidying and seem to just be moving piles of stuff around.

For example I’m trying to tidy DS’s bedroom. I get sidetracked whilst putting washing away by outfits that are too small for him. I take them out of the wardrobe but can’t decide whether to sell them or give them away or put them in the loft so they just sit on his drawers alongside other bits and pieces like formula he doesn’t use, old breast pads, etc that we don’t need but which I can’t decide to give away/sell/chuck.

It’s the same in every room and I’m getting sick of it. It doesn’t help that my DH is a bit of a hoarder. He has a double sized bedroom as a study that can’t be used properly because of the crap in it; I work on my dressing table and he goes to the office.

What are strategies to dealing with this? How do you cope with the guilt of throwing things away? I’m dreaming of booking a day annual leave and sorting the house from top to bottom but not sure if it’s realistic.

I'm quite big on minimalism. I just find clutter means more things to de-dust or as you say means you get sidetracked when trying to do a big clean up. Basically if we haven't used it for 12-18 months or it's of sentimental value then it goes to the charity shop/the tip.

Hoenstly I don't it's going to be a constant work in progress for the rest of my life. Very rarely everything is 'done' I have just learnt to live with it and do the best I can

I spend the last 3/4 months decluttering (4 kids) everything into well labelled organised boxes in the attic (toys) they chose a box once a month and rotate so there is
not the level of mess and madness there
once was

I don’t 😂

If you are financially ok then just give it all to charity is my advice. It’s worth it for your mental health. Then you can live in a clean tidy organised house and feel calmer. So yes, book a day off and get it done!

Don't get sidetracked and see a task through, basically. Easier said than done!

Get out all DS small outfits. Put in laundry bags/vacuum bags/bin bags at a push and put in loft. Do it immediately, don't let the bags hang around.
Anything immediately not sellable/best fabrics or condition then either bin or put in a bag in boot to be dropped off at charity bins.

Try and do one drawer in the kitchen/cupboard if you have the time.
Things like formula you can't regift really as it's been opened so bin it.
Decluttering is endless tbh.

Personally I prioritise my own wellbeing and love of a clear home over feeling guilt for chucking things away.. I only sell stuff that is branded or BNWT, I can't be bothered with posting it all. Either charity shop bin/donate to playgroup/stick it up on local freecycle pages. I give myself a timer with that eg, if it's not been collected in two weeks it's binned/charity shop collection bin

You need to donate anything useful and throw everything else away. Honestly it is liberating. You need to declutter and tidy as you go so when you clean you are just cleaning.

What is your time worth? Resale value for kids clothes is a couple of quid. If you have a lot to sell, you can make some decent money. But taking photos, writing the description, packaging it up and taking it to the post office takes time. I know that I didn't have time for any of that when I had a one year old!

Realistically buy a storage box for sentimental stuff you want to keep. Fill it and put it in the loft.

Everything else bag up for the charity shop or the bin and get rid of it tomorrow.

Then offset your guilt with the massive feeling of accomplishment

To handle the guilt

if it’s in good condition donate to charity - that’s helping others
if it’s not good enough to donate , wtf do you want to keep it? Self respect !

I have the same problem but I'm slowly starting to get on top of it.

No-one wants to your used breast pads. Chuck them - otherwise they will hang around for years and then you will chuck them anyway. Ditto all clothes. If you were someone who was legitimately going to be organised enough to sell them you would have done it already. Anything 'sellable' keep it if you have someone who you can genuinely pass it on to - chuck everything else - in a clothes recycling bin if needed.

Get a cleaner. They won't tidy but their presence will shame you into tidying.

Mine bags up any clutter she finds into a bag for life and leaves it for me to sort. Anything in the bag that hasn't found a home after two weeks gets binned.

Slowly things are becoming more manageable and I've tackled the big jobs (the junk room of doom, under the stairs black hole) on the rare days I have a burst of energy.

Be ruthless and donate to charity what you don't use.
Get a weekly cleaner for 6 weeks to free up your time to declutter.
Be honest with yourself about what are you actually using.
Watch the documentary about those 2 guys, The Minimalists(?) and also Marie Kondo for inspiration and to keep you motivated.
Do the declutter challenge for 1 month where on the 1st you get rid of 1 items, 2 items on the 2nd day and so on.
Have a strict ban on buying anything you don't need for a while.

Being organised with routine is key here though it is a battle. I try to have the general cleaning routines like tidying and basic cleaning every day and a deeper cleaning every few days to a week etc. Once you're on top of the general messes it's easier to allocate an hour or so to sorting out clothing sizes or a messy cupboard etc. Try not to bite off more than you can chew, do one thing at a time and be ruthless when it comes to decluttering and getting rid of things. It is constant though and I think most of us struggle with being on top of everything all of the time! It only takes a bout of illness or a couple of days where you can get to things for it to seem overwhelming.

The minimal mom on YouTube has some lovely videos about decluttering and it's benefits especially for children.
I'm a recovering hoarder, and still live with a bit too much but Im still working on it.

I feel donating is the fastest method, if it's affordable to do it. If you are stuck, box it up in a well labelled cardboard box and put a deadline date on it for selling (set a reminder on your calender) and if you haven't sold by then, just donate it. In the meantime set it aside and enjoy the decluttered space.

I had whole rooms filled with stuff. Now we have one small storage room (but have no attic, garage, shed etc, so I think I'm allowed it!)

Sign up with your local charity shop, set up a gift aid account. Donate everything there, see it as part of your charitable giving/good deeds.

Bin anything not fit to go to charity straight away. Clear out manageable amounts at a time eg no more than a third of a wheelie bin or one tip run.

take a photo of anything that has memories attached to it - better for someone else to get use out of it and you still get to remember it.

do bit by bit very regularly. Make it a habit. And stop buying excess stuff!

our house isn’t perfect but good enough

2 main things

I tackle things in the now

As it’s coming into the house I deal with it…
examples
new shoes -> a pair goes in bin on the moment new ones are opened
new toys for birthday-> all packaging goes in bin asap and I will have donated toys in advance
paperwork -> process it asap

i make quick decisions and have strategies in place so I don’t think I just do.
example kids clothes

• kids clothes are stored in an xxl bag one for each size.
• i buy stuff one size up in advance in sales / on vinted
• I don’t mess around with “this fits that doesn’t”. So all DDs age 2-3 gets taken out of the wardrobe and age 3-4 goes in.
• removed clothing is immediately sorted into 4 groups

1. Bin
2. Keep for DS (unisex)
3. “valuable” girls clothes are listed on vinted immediately I take photos as I go inc tags and then upload of an evening watching Netflix. If it doesn’t sell in ONE week it moves to cat 4
4. Give away (I specifically found 2 women with children approx 12m younger than mine they take EVERYTHING - poof! It’s gone from my home)

Kids toys
i have a monthly reminder in my phone and Sunday PM I put out “unpopular toys” in they don’t get some play I have a big box they go in. They stay there until “asked about” before birthday Xmas and Easter box is emptied at local charity shop.

be ruthless and little and often goes a long way

Dilly put two boxes in the child’s room, one labelled too small and one labelled rubbish, or very similar, and told the mum to put things in these boxes and deal with when full. Sort your life out is brilliant for tips like this

I don’t sell anything. I don’t give monthly to charity anymore but frequently give goods to charity. My local shop sends me a notice to tell me how much they have made and it is substantially more than I would have given in donations.

For everything else I use a flow chart that I created to help me get rid of stuff.

The big thing is to realise why you are struggling to get rid of it. For me, it was the monetary value that I believed the item to have. Once I realised that it no longer had that value, I was able to dispose of it easier. It also helped curb my spending as I now ask myself if I am comfortable spending that amount of money to give the item away at a later date or if the item will have a “forever use”.

I think the key is whether you plan to have a second child. If so, then put the clothes that are in good condition into boxes or bags and put them into your loft with clear labels on the outside so you have an idea of what size/type is inside.
If not, then just get rid of them as quickly as possible.

We live in a small home by choice and we are very minimal with our belongings. 3 year old doesn’t have a vast collection of toys, and mostly has open-ended toys that stand the test of time like magnet tiles, Lego, and brio train tracks.

We’re mindful about what enters our house and we declutter a few times every year. When our child outgrows clothing it goes to charity or local clothes swaps. We only keep and sell things that hold value enough to be worth it- expensive waterproof trousers and coats for example. Keeping every little vest is pointless, just send it off to charity.

First and foremost you need to do a massive declutter of all your belongings and be seriously brutal about what stays in your home.

Came here to say this too 😂

If you don’t need the money then give to charity. I kept the children’s Christening outfits and a few hand knitted pieces from relatives.

I find it hard to keep on top of things and let stuff build up, then every once in a while I get sick of it and just do a big clearout and chuck it all out. I don't bother sorting for resale or charity, it just gets put in binbags and chucked as it takes too much headspace to sort through it.

Stop fooling yourself about selling stuff. Just throw it away or donate it, and clear your mind.

Pick one day to do a clear out. Don't get sidetracked into sorting while you're doing something else.

You need to be disciplined - write yourself a realistic daily list of chores.

It helps to use a timer while you're doing the chores. Set it to (say) ten minutes for putting clothes away, and then leave the room.

Stick to the game plan.

Agree with the people who’ve said it’s an ongoing process, you have to be mindful of what’s coming in to your house and regularly review what needs to go out.

I keep a donate bag on the go (usually a bag for life/cotton tote) and drop resaleable things in as I go - anything I don’t think anyone would actually buy (eg used formula, stained clothes) goes in the bin. I deal with the guilt by being really strict about allowing stuff in to my house, buying secondhand wherever I can, and giving away a lot on our local FB free stuff page!

Yes we are planning another baby so I’m trying to be strict about saving 1 vacuum bag for each size clothes but they never make it to the loft! Some have been in the living from for 6 months now which is ridiculous. I list a lot on vinted and find it takes a while to sell through so end up with piles everywhere, I know I should probably be more ruthless.