mother told me to go back to my abusive “bullying boyfriends”

[cheekycee]

I really don’t like to call her my mum so I’m going to call her Karen which is her name (and fitting).

I have fled DV and Karen and my dad know the exact extent of it. Black eyes when pregnant, emotional abuse, physical abuse you name it.
each time I have a row with Karen she brings up my ex name to trigger me. She’s done it 3 times now.
tonight she’s got drunk and in a row said for me to “go back to my bullying boyfriend”. She said me choosing a man like that is nothing to do with her and wouldn’t be getting involved etc. please don’t say oh she had a drink. She’s vile. She’s absolutely rotten to her core. Absolutely appalling and evil in every sense. I told her I strive to be so opposite to a mother that she is because she is absolutely appalling and I cannot stand her. She is absolutely dead to me. She’s never been there. Her face makes me feel sick she is severely abusive and rotten to her core. I have just come to rant really. I probably sound horrible from writing all of this but I really had to rant.

Why are you with her if she's so awful?

I'm mean, i'm not saying she's not, just why would you be spending your Saturday night with her? The mind boggles.

So as I say I fled DV I have young kids. I look after my kids at home while I’m waiting for my own place. She’s here also and it happened in the house

Honestly, just ask her to leave and going forward just go as low contact as you possibly can.

We don't always get the mothers we deserve. All we can do is strive to be better mothers than them ourselves. Your mum probably didn't have much of a role model herself not that that's an excuse.

I can’t. I live at my dad’s house. She lives here too.

Thats hard. I'm guessing you're waiting to be re-housed?

Could you just spend most of your time in the bedroom instead? Is there a TV/Tablet in there. I think I'd just do that until I got to move away. She won't change.

This is an ignorant unempathic comment. You sound like her Mum. She’s just fled violence I doubt she’s had the chance to sort out her housing yet.

I don’t think they meant it like that. They are being really supportive in further messages but thank you xxx

She said me choosing a man like that is nothing to do with her and wouldn’t be getting involved etc

It has everything to do with her as people who grow up around abuse are statistically likely to end up in abusive relationships. She’s horrible. Sorry you’re going through this OP.

I try my best to avoid her I’ll just keep doing that.. just can’t have my kids around this. X

Thank you. I know I get that. I hate her because I really feel she’s messed my head up all my life being an arse hole abuser. She’s definitely to blame but with her being 64 she’s not going to accept it is her fault due to her stupid mentality

I’ve been on a few of your recent threads, you’ve really got to move out asap. If it’s temp accommodation yes it’ll be crap but you’re posting more and more about the situation with your mother and it might help to vent at the time but nothing will really improve until you move out.

You hate and despise her, she loathes and resents you. Your kids have been through so much already and this toxic dynamic can’t be good for anyone.

You’re not in your dad’s house, it’s their house, and you can’t stay there anymore.

You’re absolutely right. I emailed my housing officer about this but she hasn’t responded as of yet.
it does help at the time to rant but yes you’re quite right, the problem is still there. Luckily tonight my DD(4) wasn’t here to see this argument just DS who was sound asleep. That’s the only positive I have on this situation😞.